Mach - I'm so sorry for your loss. As you know, I nursed my boyfriend through his 3 1/2 year battle with stage 4 lung cancer and he passed in December. It's so tough, but it also teaches you to live each day, right?
Thanks K, and everyone else who has expressed their condolences.. Very much appreciated....
I don't know the answer to that last part for now. I'm still trying to get through each day. Day by Day, hour by hour, minute by minute....
The waves come and go out of nowhere.
Coming back here and posting is bittersweet for me. We both have ties to this place. What we are, who we are. Similar paths to find each other, yet differing still in so many ways. Her beauty, her passion, her ferocity were an inspiration to me...daily.
When I say that we 'loved' each other...I mean we LOVED each other. We set our love on fire and unfortunately, the candle burned out way too fast.
Onward I go, to still honor and love her with all of my being. Even after death we do part..
She will always be in my heart.
Sorry for the hijack G....
It still warms my heart remembering her and Baby G doing cartwheels together...: )
Wow....I post something about myself and this thread shuts down huh ?
I don't need any responses actually. I kinda felt bad tying G's thread up with my crap.
And WOW, this place has changed....it certainly isn't what I remember it being. It isn't the place that I came to all those years ago.
I saw somewhere that someone was a 'victim' of Cyberbullying .....really ?
Holy schidtcicles...
I wouldn't be where I am today without being pushed, and sometimes into a corner.
I had 2 options then....stay there and hide from myself and the hard questions....
Or face the truth within myself and come out of the corner....stronger...
I suppose that everyone is different, and not everyone reacts and interprets things the same.
I suppose it isn't much different than any other social outlet that we have today.
It's about the "likes" or the "views"...instead of it being about truth, integrity, and honor...
It feeds the massive Ego in some people. Better to be well liked than to be honest...
Kinda like...."oh, I have the answer because I read it online !!! "
Not because they have life experience to back their words. Or actually done the work on them self to KNOW the answer...
"Hey, I look good on paper...I can talk the talk, but I cannot walk the walk...."
Pfft....I deserve better from myself, for myself...
And I am fairly sure that posting here, and laying our story out here is still a choice that is made...
I do agree that there is a downtrend in new people staying around. I think that the main contributor for that though is that everything in our world had become disposable. Including our marriages...
Don't like this or that ?
Feeling hurt ? Pride hurt ?
F it....end the marriage. That will show her/him.....
Maybe that is why there is so much discussion on the online dating thing.
We can be anything we want to be online....
Yet online doesn't demand accountability from us. Only we can do that.
What has always been different about here, was that we held each other accountable in our thoughts. feelings, words, actions....etc...
Anywoo....that's my .02
G....
You doing anything fun for this holiday weekend ???
Been away on a brief road trip with my sister so late to the party as usual.
Mach - So, so sorry to hear of your loss. The love you shared sounds amazing. Something many of us will never experience so I know that you know how blessed you were to have her…even if it was only for a short time. Big (((HUGS))).
G - Your ex sold his motorcycle so he could go on a vacation by himself?? Hmmm… he sounds very much like my ex who sold the car he had been rebuilding so he could fund his affair. He knew I would consider the proceeds to be his money (especially because he told me he was going to use it to rebuild his army truck) so he could keep it outside of my purview and use it to do whatever he wanted. Your ex is up to his old tricks for sure!! When he returns, ask to see some pictures and see what he shows you. My ex took a solo trip (long story and another epic lie - not current OW but for sure an earlier one) and I saw two pictures. One was an underwater one of him scuba diving and one was a selfie that he texted me from the cruise ship terminal (probably to prove that he was there). Can you believe he brought me a little snow globe home from that trip? I still have it. Whenever I look at it, I am reminded of what a sh!tty human being he is.
RE: child support. You really just need to do the child support calculator and ask for that amount. My ex and I make the same amount of money so we only share large expenses 50/50. He also has them 50% of the time. If he didn’t, you can bet I would be getting extra money out of him. Fair is fair. Honestly…it is really crappy of him to make you go through this. He should be doing the calculator himself and making sure you have the extra money. The daycare deal no longer applies. When your daughter was younger, that was the big expense. It has been replaced by the bigger expense of just being a teenage girl. Do not feel bad about rocking the boat Ginger. If he was a better human being, you wouldn’t have to. (((HUGS)))
I saw somewhere that someone was a 'victim' of Cyberbullying .....really ?
That's the new thing here Mach you say something someone doesn't like and you are bully them. Then you get muted or told you are a troll. You can't have hook ups on here because of course that is immoral. You can't have more than one drink because of course if you do you are an alcoholic. The powers that be are running a tight ship around here so you better tread lightly lol.
Mach you and I had a discussion recently that came in hot, but I think it's safe to say worked out well in the end with each of us having a better understanding of where the other was coming from??
Sadly, that doesn't seem to be the norm any longer.
P.S. Had a conversation yesterday and one of the big items on my 4th step list came up ... I was able to talk about it without having any feelings get stirred up. Safe to say that dragon's been slayed. I've forgiven both myself and my ex for that big issue. Nice to have that one in the rear view mirror. Thanks for your help with that. It reinforced the work I was doing.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
I saw somewhere that someone was a 'victim' of Cyberbullying .....really ?
That's the new thing here Mach you say something someone doesn't like and you are bully them. Then you get muted or told you are a troll. You can't have hook ups on here because of course that is immoral. You can't have more than one drink because of course if you do you are an alcoholic. The powers that be are running a tight ship around here so you better tread lightly lol.
Well.......I've been banned before....: )
The only person that I have to fear, is myself...
Certainly not afraid of a 'boat' trip...eh Cadet ?
And WOW, this place has changed....it certainly isn't what I remember it being. It isn't the place that I came to all those years ago.
I saw somewhere that someone was a 'victim' of Cyberbullying .....really ?
Sadly it’s not just here - it’s become the new way of our dumbed down, woke world. You cannot dare challenge the “experts” and if you do they don’t argue their point, they call you racist or just remove your posts saying you are wrong, we fact checked it ourselves and say you are. So all you can do is wait a few years until pretty much every single thing they claimed or predicted or did has been proven wrong. Oh but then they just quietly move in saying the “science has changed” Ba ha ha ha.
Originally Posted by Mach1
Holy schidtcicles...
I wouldn't be where I am today without being pushed, and sometimes into a corner.
What has always been different about here, was that we held each other accountable in our thoughts. feelings, words, actions....etc...
Again it’s not just here. Colleges used to be built on challenging statements with vigorous debate and actual diverse opinions. Now if you challenge someone, you’re a bully or mean and they need protection from your micro-aggressions or a safe space or an emotional support animal. Had SNL ran a skit like this 20 or 30 years ago it would have been considered wildly funny and certainly satire. Now it’s daily reality.
But just to be clear, when LH references “the powers that be” this in no way holds true for the mods here - not at all. It’s those who can’t defend their actions or viewpoint so instead take their ball, go home and claim they won, cheered on by others with their heads stuck in the sand.
They very best way to grow is by standing up to scrutiny. The way medicine has always grown was through strong challenge of its standards. Now challenging the standards gets a physician or nurse fired. Challenging someone online gets you banned.
The point is, yes this place has drastically changed since I first arrived in 2005. But only to be a microcosm of the rest of the world.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
And WOW, this place has changed....it certainly isn't what I remember it being. It isn't the place that I came to all those years ago.
I saw somewhere that someone was a 'victim' of Cyberbullying .....really ?
Sadly it’s not just here - it’s become the new way of our dumbed down, woke world. You cannot dare challenge the “experts” and if you do they don’t argue their point, they call you racist or just remove your posts saying you are wrong, we fact checked it ourselves and say you are. So all you can do is wait a few years until pretty much every single thing they claimed or predicted or did has been proven wrong. Oh but then they just quietly move in saying the “science has changed” Ba ha ha ha.
Originally Posted by Mach1
Holy schidtcicles...
I wouldn't be where I am today without being pushed, and sometimes into a corner.
What has always been different about here, was that we held each other accountable in our thoughts. feelings, words, actions....etc...
Again it’s not just here. Colleges used to be built on challenging statements with vigorous debate and actual diverse opinions. Now if you challenge someone, you’re a bully or mean and they need protection from your micro-aggressions or a safe space or an emotional support animal. Had SNL ran a skit like this 20 or 30 years ago it would have been considered wildly funny and certainly satire. Now it’s daily reality.
But just to be clear, when LH references “the powers that be” this in no way holds true for the mods here - not at all. It’s those who can’t defend their actions or viewpoint so instead take their ball, go home and claim they won, cheered on by others with their heads stuck in the sand.
They very best way to grow is by standing up to scrutiny. The way medicine has always grown was through strong challenge of its standards. Now challenging the standards gets a physician or nurse fired. Challenging someone online gets you banned.
The point is, yes this place has drastically changed since I first arrived in 2005. But only to be a microcosm of the rest of the world.
Gotcha....
So Unicorns and Puppy dogs for all....
And to quote a good friend from here.....
Sorry that I am all fluffy today, I just shchidt out a rainbow.....
