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Originally Posted by Ready2Change
Originally Posted by toughtimes180
Well, the last two weeks have been probably the worse to date....I don't react, but internally it's taking a toll.
Then you still have more personal growth work to do.
In what sense? Sure, I'll be in IC for a while to get over the impact , but the sitch right now is persistent emotional abuse. I have to choose when to stand-up or ignore because each stand-up requires energy to withstand. And I don't always have the resolve.


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Originally Posted by LH19
Originally Posted by Traveler
I've learned not to feed the forum bully.
I also learned you are not the nice guy you try to portray yourself to be on these boards. You do what's best for you and you ignore tough questions. You made the decision for your kids. I just asked if you ever asked them if they agreed with your decision. I know if I ask mine they would both 100% agree our D was best for them.

And here we go again? What purpose does this serve? Do you feel better? This is suppose to be about helping someone who is going through a pain they didn’t see coming. We are suppose to be supportive of the particular persons thread and here you go derailing everything again.

You know darn well his kids were abused by his ex and yet you continue to pull this. If you don’t believe him than don’t, but what purpose does it serve to stalk him in every thread and call him out because you don’t like him? Did like a teenager take your account from you?

LH I appreciate you were there for me 2 and a half years ago, just sad to see this. Stay on topic and help the person here or move on and grow up. And if divorce wasn’t what was best for your kids, I guess your marriage wasn’t as dysfunctional as you portray.


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Joseph I forgot that you are very protective of him. Yeah since he brags about being besties with his ex wife that story that just came out recently doesn’t hold too much weight with me. I asked him a simple question if his kids thought the same as he did and he came back with a cocky comment to me which I didn’t like so I spoke my mind.

He’s got you and a few others snowed but Im confident most here are on to him.

My marriage wasn’t dysfunctional it ended by death of a thousand paper cuts like most who come here.

I’m glad I was able to help you and appreciate the advice on you telling me what to do but I’m good. Hope the baby is doing well.

Sorry for the hijack TT80.


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LH,
Has nothing to do with being protective of him. Has everything to do with you continuing to derail peoples threads to go after him. See, the issue isn't him, or me, it's truly you. You've made your point several times over and in his thread. He's acknowledged it, you've had your debate, yet you won't let it go.

It has nothing to do with being "snowed". I honestly don't care if he's friends with his ex, talks to her, doesn't talk to her...I don't care. He gives the best FREE advice he can on his own time, and somehow that's not good enough for you. You're obsession with him is just weird.

Sorry you don't consider death by a thousand cuts dysfunctional.

TT sorry for doing this in your thread. I came here in March of 2020 and my thread wouldn't stay on the front page for more than a few hours because of how much people were posting. Now, we have threads that are days old. Shouldn't be to hard to figure out why.

LH, respond, don't, I really don't care. I liked to lurk on here to see if there was advice I could give, but now that this site has turned into Get a divorce and act like a teenage player and have relations with as many people as you can or you're doing it wrong, I can no longer relate. You can add me to the list of people that won't be returning or looking anymore.


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HS dude than by your description everyone on here is in a dysfunctional marriage because people in good marriages don’t get divorced.

It’s funny that your judgmental last paragraph describes your boy CW to a T.

Sorry you feel you’re too good for us. Peace my friend.


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My daughter is almost 15 and doesn’t know what a narc is. I couldn’t imagine her knowing at 11. 11!!!!! You might want to check out what she’s been viewing on social media or the internet and maybe censor some stuff, because that’s just out of the realm of true comprehension for an 11 year old

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Joseph- dating is dating and we all aren’t very fortunate to find someone very easily like you did. Bu you sound a little self righteous there about the dating and sex. You did knock up your girlfriend and have a kid out of wedlock.

I speak for myself here, and that while I date and have sex I surely protect myself well. I don’t think either should be a judgement point as long as we feel we each can look at ourselves in the mirror at the end of the day

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What can I say I’m a glutton for punishment I guess, so here I am.

Most people in good marriages don’t get divorced. But of course your definition of a good marriage may be different than mine.

Spin my “judgemental paragraph” all you want if it helps you. CW attempting to find his right partner is a lot different than going out and sleeping with whomever you want for no reason other than to get off. Not only that but he’s been in long term relationships.

I don’t feel like I’m too good for anyone. Absolutely nothing I said was pointed at anyone but you.

Oh Ginger, somehow I just knew you’d be the next one to reply.

I never said having one sexual partner, being in a long term relationship, and having a child is sleeping around or negative. But yes I did have a child out of wedlock. But if you believe being in one relationship since being divorced is an issue I’m sorry to hear that.


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Originally Posted by toughtimes180
Originally Posted by Ready2Change
Originally Posted by toughtimes180
Well, the last two weeks have been probably the worse to date....I don't react, but internally it's taking a toll.
Then you still have more personal growth work to do.
In what sense? Sure, I'll be in IC for a while to get over the impact , but the sitch right now is persistent emotional abuse. I have to choose when to stand-up or ignore because each stand-up requires energy to withstand. And I don't always have the resolve.

R2C, I think, means in the sense that things will start getting better as you do more work on your own personal growth. It is like my favorite bald, Texan TV psychologist says: "if you improve yourself, people around you will respond positively." This even goes for angry WASs. I am a huge advocate of standing up for yourself, but I also believe in taking the high road. People will try to drag you down into the muck with them, but it is up to you whether or not you go down there with them. I like how you've been doing a pretty good job of managing the balancing act of standing for yourself AND being the bigger person. Kudos!

But if you are describing recent periods of time as "the worse to date", then as R2C says you need to just keep on working the self-improvements to continue towards being the best version of yourself that you can be. toughtimes, you've got the resolve, the tools, and the mental focus to do that, that much is clear. So keep working at it!

Have been doing any reading lately? If so, what? If not, R2C has some great self-improvement book suggestions. And then there is always No More Mr. Nice Guy. I think that book is a must read for any LBH!

Last edited by SteveLW; 06/30/22 03:26 PM.

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Originally Posted by JosephS
Spin my “judgemental paragraph” all you want if it helps you. CW attempting to find his right partner is a lot different than going out and sleeping with whomever you want for no reason other than to get off.
Dude your boy had forest sex with a girl he met that day.
Originally Posted by JosephS
Not only that but he’s been in long term relationships.
One in 12 years.
Originally Posted by JosephS
I don’t feel like I’m too good for anyone.
Joseph we have a few hypocritical holy rollers on this board
Originally Posted by JosephS
Oh Ginger, somehow I just knew you’d be the next one to reply.
She protects me like you protect CW
Originally Posted by JosephS
I never said having one sexual partner, being in a long term relationship, and having a child is sleeping around or negative. But yes I did have a child out of wedlock. But if you believe being in one relationship since being divorced is an issue I’m sorry to hear that.
Ahh so you make the rules on what is right and wrong.


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