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Originally Posted by Josh_T
"Meetings have a purpose. Face to face communication is useful, do you agree? I can't just use email it's not only very time consuming but also notorious for misunderstanding"

Steve translated well for you.


Your response to this:

"W, i sent you an email"

See the beauty in this (YOUR) boundary. She will test, you will enforce. Her sending you a text is fine. Her leaving a voice mail is fine. You always have time to process what she says, and then respond in a well crafted email if needed.


Hold your boundary.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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Originally Posted by Ready2Change
Your response to this:

"W, i sent you an email"

See the beauty in this (YOUR) boundary. She will test, you will enforce. Her sending you a text is fine. Her leaving a voice mail is fine. You always have time to process what she says, and then respond in a well crafted email if needed.


Hold your boundary.
Love it! A boundary CONTROLS YOU. She will surely test if you can stick to your boundaries.

Try not to cave (weak) but also try not to tell her what to do (controlling).

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I just checked my Gmail account...over 2500 emails/text with my X. some of them were clarifying and reducing confusion emails.


Josh, draft up a response to her text and lets us give you feedback.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
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I actually never responded, and two hours later i get an MMS of our cat. When I got home she tried three times to talk about something financial because she came back from her IC. I think she even used the triangulation phrase "my therapist said..". I said no, but maybe a meeting next week (after I meet L). I also followed up by email saying even though a meeting, need email. She's not happy.

Later in the evening she was hovering near the door, right around the time I said I was going out. I couldn't really be vague since I had my gym bag.

In any event, I know what she is going to say too. No to duplex. Probably her IC said that is bad boundaries. And obviously an email to say that isn't a big deal. Not sure how that could be any sort of misunderstanding! Lol


Me: 47 w/ S10, D12, D3
Current T: 12; M: 11 years; BD1: 11-11-18; BD2: 22-04-22; STBXW: 41
Previous M: 4 years; Big D: 2004; XW: 48
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Me: 47 w/ S10, D12, D3
Current T: 12; M: 11 years; BD1: 11-11-18; BD2: 22-04-22; STBXW: 41
Previous M: 4 years; Big D: 2004; XW: 48
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Originally Posted by LH19
Originally Posted by Traveler
Makes sense? You're throwing in the towel. She deserves pursuing sexual satisfaction and happiness.
It's comments like this that solidify my stance that marriage is a joke.

Traveler just out of curiosity what in your mind changes if he didn't throw in the towel which he hasn't BTW?
I'm not sure what he was trying to say but man it stinks like a pile of $#% around the corner.

I'm a pro marriage guy and I think Traveler's heart is always in the right place, I just really disagree with this (maybe I missed something).


H 34
W 29
BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
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Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
Originally Posted by LH19
Originally Posted by Traveler
Makes sense? You're throwing in the towel. She deserves pursuing sexual satisfaction and happiness.
It's comments like this that solidify my stance that marriage is a joke.

Traveler just out of curiosity what in your mind changes if he didn't throw in the towel which he hasn't BTW?
I'm not sure what he was trying to say but man it stinks like a pile of $#% around the corner.

I'm a pro marriage guy and I think Traveler's heart is always in the right place, I just really disagree with this (maybe I missed something).
You didn't miss anything. Traveler has a side of him that thinks you do what you need to do to be happy at all costs.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.” ~LH19
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Me-68, D36,S35
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