After reading a bit I think I’m still too sad for this forum. I feel good most of the time but I don’t have a life. I’m in hermit mode learning how to make myself happy. This has given me the gift of not putting up with bad treatment. I’ve straight up walked away from a few potential friends. If their presence isn't better than being alone then I’m out. This feels amazing btw.
I clung to my kids but I’m over that too. If they prefer money and gifts then so be it (they don’t). I no longer live in fear of being alone.
I live a simple life. I love my job. I read, watch tv, play on my phone, I have a bunch of plants, I got my cat back, I go to the gym or exercise at home. My house is decorated like a teenagers (lol). I’m debt free. I get to do whatever I want which is wonderful after 30 years of catering to another person.
My ex diagnosed me with bipolar disorder and convinced a doctor of it. I am happy to report I’m off those meds and I’m actually a peaceful person. All the horrible things he said about me were actually about him.
I want to date one day but for now I know I have nothing to offer. When I do date I want to bring the very best version of me.
I can’t wait until I actually am well enough to be here.
After my boyfriend died last year, I’ve spent the better part of 9 months watching Korean dramas on tv in my spare time. And that’s okay! Eventually it inspired me to ride my exercise bike while watching, and then to start learning Korean on my Duolingo app.
Self care is important. We are here for you.
(And if you want a light fluffy Korean rom com, Business Proposal on Netflix is cute and is one of the handful that are dubbed in English).
honey, why do you think you don't belong here? because you're not dating or don't feel you're ready to do so??
I've been divorced six years and I'm just starting to consider dating now. I'm in the worst physical shape of my life. So what? I joined a gym. I'm working on it.
I have bouts of sadness, of course! We all do. That's life. Mom's gone, Dad's gone, the kid's semi-gone as in semi-on his own, the dog's on his way out ... but I'm still here, and posting. Please consider doing the same. I, for one, would love to read how you're doing.
xoxoxo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
You are doing great. It takes time to rediscover yourself and figure things out. You've accomplished so much. Please don't judge your situation against those who are posting here. Each person has to move at their own pace. You will get to the top of the mountain when you are ready.
I'm glad you are off the meds and are doing okay. One day at a time, one step at a time. Be kind to yourself and most of all be patient with yourself. As the saying goes "Roman wasn't built in a day" and that truly applies to all who have gone ahead of you on this train.
Keep posting. We are here for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
