Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 8 of 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 6,119
Likes: 408
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 6,119
Likes: 408
thanks for the update K, so good to hear from you!

xoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,297
Likes: 113
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,297
Likes: 113
I am so glad you returned to provide an update. I am glad all of your children are now living with you.

Your life will be so much better now that the divorce is over and done with.

Wishing you a far better year! Stay in touch.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
K
kml Offline
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
Remember - living well is the best revenge!

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,265
Likes: 58
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,265
Likes: 58
Glad you’re back and provided an update. I don’t want to provide comment that discourages more from you but something you wrote jumped out at me.

Originally Posted by kas99
My ex is being a super dad and for that I’m actually grateful. He bought both girls cars and gives them money.

So he’s trying to buy their effection while teaching them they don’t have to work for the things they have - like a car - it will just be given to them? How’s that being a “super dad?”

Originally Posted by kas99
It’s killing him that the kids won’t go over there much anymore.

Sounding like they saw through him in the end and the cars and the cash didn’t buy them off. Good for them!


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 1,760
Likes: 193
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 1,760
Likes: 193
kas99,

It's been awhile...good to hear from you! Hopefully the finalization of the process has brought you some peace; sounds like you're in a much better place than 3+ years ago. Enjoy your relationship with your children, which is far more valuable in the long run than his GF. Glad the job is going so well. When I asked you your post-D pans last March you list things like: "new wardrobe, hair, kittens, sewing, exercise, and dating." How are those? Keep in touch :-)


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,623
Likes: 15
K
kas99 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,623
Likes: 15
Originally Posted by bttrfly
thanks for the update K, so good to hear from you!

xoxoxo

When I was here before I was in limbo. No longer trying to save my marriage but not divorced yet either. I didn't quite fit in but maybe I do now. smile

1 member likes this: bttrfly
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,623
Likes: 15
K
kas99 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,623
Likes: 15
Originally Posted by job
I am so glad you returned to provide an update. I am glad all of your children are now living with you.

Your life will be so much better now that the divorce is over and done with.

Wishing you a far better year! Stay in touch.

It's wonderful to have my daughter back!! I believe this year will be better for sure.

Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,623
Likes: 15
K
kas99 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,623
Likes: 15
Originally Posted by kml
Remember - living well is the best revenge!

I think about you often. I haven't caught up on your story yet but back then I didn't think I'd ever get even remotely close to where you were. I think I've crossed over and get it now. smile

Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,623
Likes: 15
K
kas99 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,623
Likes: 15
Quote
Glad you’re back and provided an update. I don’t want to provide comment that discourages more from you but something you wrote jumped out at me.

I still have more of a thin skin than I'd like but I'm getting stronger by the hour. Literally.

Quote
So he’s trying to buy their affection while teaching them they don’t have to work for the things they have - like a car - it will just be given to them? How’s that being a “super dad?”

I've been a doormat, coddling mother so I'm no better than my ex. It's a long story.....

Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,623
Likes: 15
K
kas99 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 1,623
Likes: 15
I ran out of time so I’ll finish this later.

I was so terrified to be alone that I catered to my kids. I’ve stopped a lot of it but it’s hard. I wish S22 would move out and have come very close to kicking him out but i decided to wait. I partly chickened out and partly think I shouldn’t do something in anger. He’s been working full time for 6 months so it’s not terrible but I am mad.

D20 has stepped up and was saving for another car. Hers kept breaking down which caused me a lot of anxiety. One day I decided it wasn’t my problem and stopped. About that time my ex fixed her car then decided it wasn’t safe so he got her a new one.

Things are changing fast for me now and I guess I’m glad I don’t have to worry about the car anymore.

He’s doing more than buying things but I think his girlfriend is running the show. I also don’t think it will last.

Page 8 of 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard