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A Message from Michele
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"Long ago, in a galaxy far far away I was a WAS from a bad marriage. More recently, I was an LBS in a life partnership gone wrong. I'm trying to rebuild my life and be pickier about partners!"

Prior Thread -
https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2922873



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Alright, working on it Wayfarer. wink

* Decluttered my D's art and school supplies area to good effect.



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Everything Wayfarer said to the nth degree CW.

My son learned how to do laundry when we got our new laundry set up ... he was 11. He's been doing his own laundry ever since. He was upset at 13 because he didn't know how to do some basic household stuff like vacuuming, dusting, washing dishes. I showed him. He does none of it now, but he knows how to do it. Still does his own laundry. This is important.


M 20+ T25+
S 15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
H moved out 4/24/15
D Final 12/23/16

"True love travels on a gravel road."
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I don't even know were the conversation is right now just wanted to stop in and encourage you to in your decluttering efforts! I find great peace in a tidy area. It's something I can control, when there is so much in life I cannot.

It's like how to eat an elephant - one bite at a time.

I hope your dating life is looking better. I hope you aren't wasting time on women that befuddle or confuse you. There are too many good women out there who aren't a sphinx. Find one of those. Not complicated and straight forward. You deserve someone you can feel secure with. That's my sisterly advice for the day. No charge. : )


ME47 XH44, S28 S24 S19

8/17-BD
IHS: 1/17-2/19
D FILED (ME): 7/19
D FINAL: 10/20
M23 T25
OW CONFIRMED: 01/21

Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
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Thanks, 97Hope. So, home management. I made a list of 25hrs of high-priority tasks to tackle. The garage is worst--nobody enters but me, but it complicates laundry, prevents hiring repair people, and I wouldn't feel safe having my kids step foot in there. That's this weekend's priority. Yes, I'm giving myself a whole weekend for one room. I also want my kids to study and enjoy their weekend. And, if I get the garage under control, the backlog of laundry seems an obvious next step.

When the garage was functional, they'd bring it down, I'd run it, they'd bring it up and put it away.



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Oh CW, you make me scratch my head hard, my friend. Why in the world are you even trying to date when you clearly have a LOT to deal with at home? Get your house in order FOR YOUR KIDS! Stop worrying about how it will look to whatever random date you ring in and start worrying about your kids having a safe and healthy environment. I don’t want to question anyone’s parenting because that most certainly isn’t my place. I’m not sure how old your kids are, but I suspect they’re old enough to help with basic chores like dishes, laundry, dusting, vacuuming. Someone suggested, until your dishwasher is fixed, use paper goods. Honey, YES! Our dishwasher went out and is too old to fix so until we can work a new one into the budget, we have to hand wash everything, so we have totally moved to paper plates. We still use regular glasses and utensils but even just switching to paper plates has cut down on our wash time. And, we take turns or do it together to divide the load. Work as a team with your kids to get such chores finished and you get a clean house while teaching them life skills. Trust me when I say chores won’t kill kids. I was raised on a farm and had both farm (outside) and house (inside) chores and my brother and I mowed and weed-eated the entire yard at least once a week spring through fall. We both survived all that and are still alive and kicking at 51 and 46.


Me 51, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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Dawn, my kids get 3 square meals a day plus snacks and I'm very involved in their lives. I keep them OUT of the dangerous, out-of-order areas of my home. That said, writing all the previous stuff out, I completely agree I need to put more focus on my home. Before I did the cleanout kml suggested (getting stuff into boxes at least) it was too overwhelming to even look at.



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I’m certainly not doubting that you provide for your kids nor that you are very involved in their lives. My comments were mainly aimed at the post where you were talking about your daughter had to ask you to wash a glass or what was safe to eat and she’d tell you her clothes were gross (your words). You also said the condition of your garage prevents your kids doing their own laundry and you from bringing in repair people, so hopefully you can see why it could be construed that some cleanup is in order to improve their environment.

I totally get overwhelming. Someone else said it a few posts back, but it’s that old saying about how do you eat an elephant…one bite at a time.

I’m glad you see the need to focus on your home. You will be amazed at how much better you’ll feel when you start getting organized. And your kids will benefit too. It’s a labor of love for all of you to have a safe, healthy, happy home for you all to enjoy together.


Me 51, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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While you’re cleaning the garage you could run some loads of laundry - kids can put their clothes away . Only takes a minute to start the washer or turn over a load. Kill two birds.

Sounds like you’ve been depressed and gotten overwhelmed. Good luck this weekend! You’ll feel much better when the garage is sorted. Get rid of all the stuff you don’t need! I’m busy clearing out little areas in my living area where things have accumulated - the bowl with catch-all items, magazines, cleaned the downstairs guest bathroom. Making progress!

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We're all on the cleaning patrol today. Good luck CW and yes, any time you can kill two birds with one stones is a good time.


M 20+ T25+
S 15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
H moved out 4/24/15
D Final 12/23/16

"True love travels on a gravel road."
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