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Originally Posted by 97Hope
Guys, do you use that to 'compliment' women you aren't in a relationship with?
No, whatever I don't know about dating, I know it's better initially to compliment someone on their style, personality, achievements, etc. rather than their inherent looks or how useful/sexy they are to you. Skirting the line, I appreciated when Ms BunnyBoiler complimented my abs. I wasn't born with those abs, by gosh, I spent hours working out to achieve them!

I also know people are quick to find reasons to NEXT someone they're not attracted to and to FORGIVE people they are attracted to. I think your 30s neighbor goofed on his approach AND you weren't particularly into the young'un to begin with. wink

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Originally Posted by CWarrior
No, whatever I don't know about dating, I know it's better initially to compliment someone on their style, personality, achievements, etc. rather than their inherent looks or how useful/sexy they are to you. Skirting the line, I appreciated when Ms BunnyBoiler complimented my abs. I wasn't born with those abs, by gosh, I spent hours working out to achieve them!

Now this is true. The guys were saying my calves were looking good, but they are my buddies and we are all working hard at getting in shape, I like to be complimented. The word 'sexy' just torques me out.

Originally Posted by CWarrior
I also know people are quick to find reasons to NEXT someone they're not attracted to and to FORGIVE people they are attracted to. I think your 30s neighbor goofed on his approach AND you weren't particularly into the young'un to begin with. wink

True, true. Nope, not into the young'uns.. lol


ME47 XH44, S28 S24 S19

8/17-BD
IHS: 1/17-2/19
D FILED (ME): 7/19
D FINAL: 10/20
M23 T25
OW CONFIRMED: 01/21

Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
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I’m with you Hope. If I’m not in a relationship with someone and they call me sexy, it definitely creeps me out. I suppose if that was a look I was going for on a daily basis, I might be okay with it. But it’s definitely not so that’s a hard pass. I’d rather be admired for my intelligence or my personality. Something someone has to take the time to find out about me rather than just determine in a glance. Keep on being you my friend!!! (((HUGS)))

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Deja!! ((((hugs)))

I'm with you! (It was not a look I was going for, I was walking home after a run ha)


ME47 XH44, S28 S24 S19

8/17-BD
IHS: 1/17-2/19
D FILED (ME): 7/19
D FINAL: 10/20
M23 T25
OW CONFIRMED: 01/21

Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
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Not much to update. Had a great dinner with S28 DIL and G5 & G8. DIL is still allowing XH to push her buttons, but for the first time, I didn't get queazy hearing about it. My S28 brought him up and she said "we are not involving mom anymore" and I said "I love you, you don't have to protect me. If you need to talk, I'm here" so she told me a frustrating event concerning her, XH and the OW.

I am wondering how long she will be surprised by his actions. I remember being surprised.

I had an extra job this morning. It was lovely. Great people. They asked me to join a FB singles group. I did and promptly left. I think I might be a prude. lol The jokes were too much for me. Lot's of dirty talk. When I think about that and the "sexy" thing, I wonder if I was born in the wrong era?

Working days has really helped my PMA. I was getting into a rut on nights. I went to Lowes today and picked out new floors for my house. S28 is going to install them with me. I'm excited about learning some things.

Closing on the house on Wednesday, physical fitness test on Thursday and working all weekend. Then, hopefully, begin the floors and move in! I've never done a slow move like this. I usually pack it all up, move and have the house set up in a day. This will be good for me.

DIL found a washer/dryer on sale for me and they are beautiful. D....you have your exciting pill box and I'm over the moon about my new w/d set! lol aren't we something?

Went to my partner's house for a little while after dinner and had a nice visit with him and his wife. So blessed to know them. His wife's smile lights up a room and she just has such a sweet, calming presence.

Going to sleep now. Feeling good about life. Thank you to everyone who responds and shares. You all have made my journey possible. Truly. I was such a mess before I had others to walk through this with.

xo


ME47 XH44, S28 S24 S19

8/17-BD
IHS: 1/17-2/19
D FILED (ME): 7/19
D FINAL: 10/20
M23 T25
OW CONFIRMED: 01/21

Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
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Originally Posted by 97Hope
D....you have your exciting pill box and I'm over the moon about my new w/d set! lol aren't we something?

Haha.

Yes we are.

Don’t fret about the FB group. I’m partial to civilized talk as well. Yes, there are a few swears here and there, however the crass vulgarities of the uncouth are not in my circle of friends.

‘night.


Feelings are fleeting.
Be better, not bitter.
Love the person, forgive the sin.
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Closed on the house, pulled the old carpet out, picked up the new flooring yesterday.

Today went in to the office for physical exam for special team. Ran 1.5 mile, 2 minutes of push ups/sit ups and then had to bench my weight.

Went to lunch with DIL, terrible service, ended up eating only a small salad (our food never came and she had to return to work). Ended up with headache so came home.

I have to pack and do the floors and move and I have 2 days off - Monday and Tuesday.

I've posted to FB asking for help and all my friends from NY (where I used to live) fill the feed up with comments "wish I could help". Ugh. I know they mean well, but it's really not helpful as they aren't coming.

I had several people lined up to help, now I'm scrambling to just hire it out and be done with it.

Called my boss to see if I could take tomorrow off - then I would just have to work saturday and sunday and I could get ahead a little.

I'm excited about house, but also feeling the pressure of doing it alone. It's a feeling. Will definitely pass.

I am grateful that I passed the physical test - will mean more money now that I'm on a special team.

I am grateful that the house closed.

I am grateful that I do have the money to pay people to help.


Hope you all are doing well. Thanks for 'listening'.


ME47 XH44, S28 S24 S19

8/17-BD
IHS: 1/17-2/19
D FILED (ME): 7/19
D FINAL: 10/20
M23 T25
OW CONFIRMED: 01/21

Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
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Congratulations!!!!!! Take a moment to savor that you are now a HOME OWNER and you did it YOURSELF!!!!

Brava!

xoxoxo
(and congrats on the special team/physical passing)


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Thank you so much, sweet bttrfly!!! Yes, I did it myself!!! No one can kick me out! That's a huge relief. and thanks on the congrats for the special team. I'm the only female on the squad, and the oldest. LOL it felt good passing. I need to work on a lot, but my team is supportive and I feel like I have a new family. AND....I didn't even come in last on the push ups and run!! (Way behind them on weights and sit ups, but that's ok)

August 2017. BD. I was on the floor and couldn't imagine how to live, let alone take care of myself and find a job and all that life entails. I still have days that I struggle, who doesn't? But it's not an overwhelming, gripping fear of my future. I sure hope the newcomers get to see that there is life beyond D. A life they can't imagine. A life of peace and hope and joy and new beginnings.

My DIL commented today "You are who you were years ago. It's good to see you be you again".

I'm so grateful for all of you here. x


ME47 XH44, S28 S24 S19

8/17-BD
IHS: 1/17-2/19
D FILED (ME): 7/19
D FINAL: 10/20
M23 T25
OW CONFIRMED: 01/21

Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
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97Hope,

Congratulations on the house! I wasn't around when you first joined and am not familiar with your sitch, but it's great to hear you've come so far in the past 4 years! Keep it up!


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
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