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Artemis,

I have not responded to your thread because I get the sense you would not like the advice I would give you. Please read what Thornton posted as it is pure gold (nice job Thornton). Hard to read, hard to implement but your only winning path.

Unfortunately, the hardest thing for you right now is to realize there's nothing you can actively do that will change what he's going to do. Nothing.

You need to accept that, process it, surrender to it. That is the hardest part of all of this, the situation, in terms of what he does, cannot be changed by you. It's too late for that now.

If you want to reconcile, you're in a waiting game, and the only course of action that leads to reconciliation, IMO, is emotional distance and not actively trying to fix *anything* between you because that ship has sailed.

You need to focus on you, being the best woman you can be, and taking your attention 100% off of him. Do not be his friend, do not be his safety net, do not engage with him at all beyond the minimum you can manage to co-parent. That's it. Get him out of the house as soon as possible, co-habitation will make things worse.

Does that sound like horrible advice? Is it scary? Are you convinced that certainly it doesn't apply to you?

That's all normal. Everyone feels like their situation is unique, and there must be some answer, some solution they just haven't discovered that is within their control. There isn't. You don't have an option that doesn't suck. You have to pick the least sucky option of all the sucky options you have and learn to accept that. The option that [censored] the least is protecting yourself by giving yourself emotional space.

Distance from him emotionally, but be happy, upbeat, successful and positive on your own. Fake it until you make it. That is quite literally all you can do, and that, girl, is a very bitter pill to swallow.

This is the value of hind sight, and unfortunately for most people, you can't absorb it until you're ready.

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Time for a new thread. You have reached the 100 posting/reply limit. Please be sure to link both threads together. Thanks!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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How do I link the threads?

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