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#2920995 07/07/21 06:42 PM
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Previous Thread:

From the other side (#10)

UPDATE:

This week marks 5 years since this roller coaster has begun in my life and the lives of my family. As they say, time is your friend. It has been a long road for me mentally and emotionally, but life has definitely gotten better and much more satisfying.

I again give my thanks to all of you here that helped me on the road to recovery. Sounds like AA, but I guess it is somewhat similar. HAHA!!!

Last edited by job; 07/07/21 07:24 PM. Reason: added link to previous thread

Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
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Hi SBJ. I don't post regularly anymore, but I just read some of your posts.

4 years for me. I read "The Hiding Place" Corrie Ten Boom, and a line in it really helped me. Summarized, the father in the story asks Corrie why he didn't let her carry the suitcase on trips when she was little, and she says "It was too heavy for me", the father says "So it is with God". Our burdens are too heavy to carry without His help, His timing is perfect, and His plan is for our good and His glory, despite how it feels in the middle of it.

I, too, relied on my faith to get me through. I didn't find out proof of my XH's GF until January of this year. The confirmation came through my daughter in law, and at just the right time.

The bike race that you were training for was supposed to come through my town!! I'm in the middle of you and the DFW guys. If you get together, save a stool for me. It's always nice to have community that understands what we are going through.

Anyway, your sitch just resonated with me. I hope you are in a great place.


ME47 XH44, S28 S24 S19

8/17-BD
IHS: 1/17-2/19
D FILED (ME): 7/19
D FINAL: 10/20
M23 T25
OW CONFIRMED: 01/21

Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
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good to "see" you SBJ! thanks for the update. I can't remember - did your xwife marry again?


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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SBJ, it is so amazing to see your face -- well, your initials -- round these parts!

But please do not leave us hanging for another six months! How about a few details of what you are up to?

Love to you and yours from Good Ol' Gerda.


I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
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Hey 97hope, bttrfly and Gerda...glad to hear from you guys as well. Life is definitely been busy, but all of the batchitcrazy has been on the other side.

Personally:
Still teaching myself new things musically on the guitar.
Still trying to get out and hear live music.
Playing way too much golf...just kidding...can't be too much.
Fishing, hunting, and anything outdoors.
Enjoying time with my kids, as I split them 5050 with the ex.
Leading a men's faith sharing group.
Starting our divorce ministry back up soon.

On the other side:
The ex remarried at the end of 2020. I call it the Covid Quarantine Marriage, because of the speed of courtship, but what do I know. His ex did to him about the same thing that mine did to me, so I guess we have that in common. As long as he is good to my kids then I have no ill will towards him.

Trying to see if this dating thing is really for me. I've met some nice people, but we are trying to find the least damaged people that we might have something in common with, other than divorce. It is really odd.

97hope, I am going to try and get ready again to do the MS150. It is supposed to end in College Station at Kyle Field. I'm sure there will be a big party there with several stools.

bttfly, I hope your sitch has developed into a much more peaceful world for you and your son. Still playing your guitar?

Gerda, I know you tried to stand strong for your marriage and kids...how are things?

I hope you guys have a great August!


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 875
S
SBJ Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 875
Hey 97hope, bttrfly and Gerda...glad to hear from you guys as well. Life is definitely been busy, but all of the batchitcrazy has been on the other side.

Personally:
Still teaching myself new things musically on the guitar.
Still trying to get out and hear live music.
Playing way too much golf...just kidding...can't be too much.
Fishing, hunting, and anything outdoors.
Enjoying time with my kids, as I split them 5050 with the ex.
Leading a men's faith sharing group.
Starting our divorce ministry back up soon.

On the other side:
The ex remarried at the end of 2020. I call it the Covid Quarantine Marriage, because of the speed of courtship, but what do I know. His ex did to him about the same thing that mine did to me, so I guess we have that in common. As long as he is good to my kids then I have no ill will towards him.

Trying to see if this dating thing is really for me. I've met some nice people, but we are trying to find the least damaged people that we might have something in common with, other than divorce. It is really odd.

97hope, I am going to try and get ready again to do the MS150. It is supposed to end in College Station at Kyle Field. I'm sure there will be a big party there with several stools.

bttfly, I hope your sitch has developed into a much more peaceful world for you and your son. Still playing your guitar?

Gerda, I know you tried to stand strong for your marriage and kids...how are things?

I hope you guys have a great August!


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
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Quote
Trying to see if this dating thing is really for me. I've met some nice people, but we are trying to find the least damaged people that we might have something in common with, other than divorce.

When we were dating in our twenties we just couldn't SEE the damage. Now that we are older and wiser we hopefully can be more discerning in our choices.

As for the ex's new guy - I admit, I sometimes feel guilty for not warning my ex's second wife (not an affair partner, thankfully) that he was a cheater. I'm sure she wouldn't have believed it coming from me. And maybe since he's 19 years older than her and he's aging more than expected in his 60's, he'll be less prone to cheat on her. Pretty sure she has no idea though.


Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

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