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OnlyBent/Maika - I hope catch up with you guys in the series and join in the conversation. Maybe watching it and getting through the trigger points will help me process.


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
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Wont read too much of earlier posts, just wanted to chime in after 12 minutes.
It is hitting so many things right!!


Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
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Episode 4 - wow wow wow!!!

Spoilers...

That was an incredible episode. In the beginning I thought he was going to be weak, but he came back and stood his ground. Finally, the WAS wants to come back but the LBS has moved on. I couldn't help but feel a sense of justice and vindication for him.

Whatcha think OB?


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Wow. Unreal. You two weren't kidding...so poignant and triggering. I signed up for HBO Max to watch it when I saw Maika's latest post and I'm halfway through episode 2 right now. The scenes of her telling him about OM in the kitchen and then the conversation in the bedroom...it's having me flash back to BD and similar conversations. When they're talking about their daughter and she says "It's gonna be the best for her too" I had to pause the episode and post on here...even justifying her behavior as best for the kids!

Haven't read through your above posts because I'm not caught up to you, but will comment when I do.


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
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Originally Posted by Maika
Episode 4 - wow wow wow!!!

Spoilers...

That was an incredible episode. In the beginning I thought he was going to be weak, but he came back and stood his ground. Finally, the WAS wants to come back but the LBS has moved on. I couldn't help but feel a sense of justice and vindication for him.

Whatcha think OB?

Spoilers....

Yeah, he was pretty strong wasn't he. I thought maybe there was a bit of waver until he found out that her and OM broke up 2 weeks prior, that seemed to strengthen his resolve again. But talk about a complete switch in circumstances. "I don't have feelings for you anymore", that would have hurt her, but its pretty much what everyone on here has heard at BD. I thought he handled things pretty classily, not to seem smug about the change in fortunes.

Its funny how in the second episode she said she knew it was all so cliched and predictable and this sequence of events was no different to that. As LH is fond of saying, focus on yourself and making a great life and you won't care whether they come back. This played out exactly like that. The writers have definitely done their research.


Me: 39 W:41
T: 14 M: 11
S: 5

BD & OM Jun 2020
W moves out Aug 2020

"What happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way...because it didn't"
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BL - yeah each episode gets better and we see the full trajectory of this. The BD in Ep 2 is so triggering and man was it real. How she justified her behavior was so on point.

OB - he definitely handled it with class. you could tell from the beginning she didn't want to sign the papers and something was amiss. $hit is raining down on her and now she wants to come back. He focused on himself and made things better for him and now he doesn't want her back.

I really resonated when he said, "I've been wanting this moment for 2 years," and now that it's in front of him, he realizes he doesn't want it. The writing and research is so on point. Even though the show is hard to watch at times, I'm enjoying it because it's showing how it really goes down.


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So just caught up and watched Episode 4. Looked on Wikipedia to find out there's one more episode being released next week.

Definitely think this series is more real/raw/gritty than Sex/Lives which resonated with a lot of themes but seemed more fantastical, if that makes sense.

***Spoiler Alert***


Originally Posted by OnlyBent
Episode 2 was very raw and real, just the little things, boy was that an intense episode. Worth a watch but definitely could be triggering.
Originally Posted by Maika
It is definitely very real. Episode 2 is just so outrageously real. The BD in Ep 2 send chills down my spine. I had it happen in almost the same setting. I'm glad I am much far removed from it where it wasn't triggering in a spiraling way, but oh boy, i saw that coming.
Yes. The Episode 2 BD scenes were...so real. Incredible how they captured that so accurately.

Originally Posted by OnlyBent
If anyone has watched episode 3 yet, what do we think about when he says how much pain he was in every day for a year and she says so was she, despite seemingly having moved in with OM...that she thought about him every day? Do we buy it? My STBX Brother-in-law tried to tell me that STBXW wasn't handling things well and I just couldn't believe it.
Originally Posted by Maika
I just watched it OB and I had the exact same thought when that scene happened.

It's so hard to buy that she was thinking about him every day and was in pain and that he's important to her when she just dropped him like a ton of bricks into the depths of an ocean. Like the BD was planned and she already had an OM.

I find it really hard to believe that the WAS is thinking about the LBS with such frequency. Like if you wanted it so badly why the hell did you pull what you pulled. I'm sure they're in pain, but I think from the LBS perspective it's hard to believe. We need some WAS to come up in here and tell us.
I really don't have any idea. It's hard for me to buy too. It doesn't make any sense. It's easy to think the WW/WAS rides off into the sunset but we hear stories of folks' Exs on here having very difficult times behind the scenes. My perception was it seemed so easy for my then-W to do all this and end the marriage / break up the family, but she lashed out and told me back before physical separation in what seemed to be a moment of honesty that I have no idea how she cries in the car and breaks down when I'm not around. So who knows. Guess it doesn't matter anyway...

Originally Posted by OnlyBent
I'm with you M, I cringed at the stuff he was doing, it was so unattractive, but I too did similar things. The phone call dumping his girlfriend was clearly too unattractive for her in the end though, her interest obviously dropped down again when she realised he really hadn't changed all that much.
Originally Posted by Maika
Yeah she was intrigued and kinda attracted to the 'new' him and that he had a GF. Him dumping the GF was definitely super unattractive and you could just see it in her face and body language. All that desire to sleep with him probably went out the window.
Dumping the GF on the phone right when he had her in the bed was definitely cringeworthy. Remind me to never do that LOL

Originally Posted by Maika
It was amazing how she tried to justify uprooting him and the daughter just so she could go and live a WAS life in London - so conniving and selfish. She's still got the same mindset from BD and now that the OM is almost done with her, she wants to have the pining LBS around.
So conniving! She's trying to soften him up and drag daughter around the world to live near AP!

Originally Posted by Maika
It was also incredible seeing how she responded to him asking for a divorce - like she wasn't expecting it and that it wouldn't eventually come if she continued on the path.
Yep! Power is flipping...

Originally Posted by OnlyBent
I really resonated when he said, "I've been wanting this moment for 2 years," and now that it's in front of him, he realizes he doesn't want it. The writing and research is so on point. Even though the show is hard to watch at times, I'm enjoying it because it's showing how it really goes down.
Yeah, like the vindication - it's every LBS's fantasy - but also wonder how often that happens in real life. Seems a little too perfect for him whereas lot of sitches on here the LBS never gets the satisfaction. Also, don't see it happening in my case but would feel bad for ExW to see her break down like that

A couple things that jumped out in Episode 4:

OM tells her: "You don't want my kid because you'll always see me as the guy who broke up your family."

Kids Custody Schedule - I found it a bit heart-wrenching when the wife is on the phone with the daughter who is upset and confused about the schedule and which day of the week she's with whom and she responds "that's what we decided / check your chart". I feel for my kids there because D3 is always asking "are we going to mommy's / who's going to pick me up" and I've been making a calendar for them.

Signing D documents - I felt emotions bubbling up when they were signing the documents, brought back memories of my own just a few months ago...

Last edited by BL42; 10/06/21 01:37 AM.

Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
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Originally Posted by BL42
Definitely think this series is more real/raw/gritty than Sex/Lives which resonated with a lot of themes but seemed more fantastical, if that makes sense.

Yep agreed BL, captured the themes, but was pretty over the top, more Hollywood type. Scenes is based on a Swedish book or TV show (or maybe a play) and I wonder if that's why it is so much more real and raw.

Originally Posted by BL42
Yeah, like the vindication - it's every LBS's fantasy - but also wonder how often that happens in real life. Seems a little too perfect for him whereas lot of sitches on here the LBS never gets the satisfaction. Also, don't see it happening in my case but would feel bad for ExW to see her break down like that.

I doubt it happens all that much in real life. Maybe they realise all those things but my guess some would never admit it anyway. I actually think once the LBS is fully over it, they genuinely don't want to heard it. In this case she really did blow up her whole life for what she saw as "passion" but then seemingly settled into normal life. Ironically, she got the passion from the H in that most recent episode with the sex and him standing up for himself, shouting and hitting her. It really wasn't worth it for her, but there would have been no reasoning with her at BD.

What do we think is in store for the final episode? My guess is that they've moved passed it all, and they're in a happy and amicable place a bit like the end of Marriage Story.


Me: 39 W:41
T: 14 M: 11
S: 5

BD & OM Jun 2020
W moves out Aug 2020

"What happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way...because it didn't"
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Originally Posted by OnlyBent
What do we think is in store for the final episode? My guess is that they've moved passed it all, and they're in a happy and amicable place a bit like the end of Marriage Story.
I haven't seen Marriage Story - purposefully avoided it as it got popular on Netflix during the heart of my sitch - but agree with your prediction the final episode will be focused on both sides calmed down and navigating the "new normal" / post-D / co-parenting life.

Glad I'm finally caught up with you and Maika...look forward to discussing it next week!


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
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As a free time interlude between those series, just take a look at the movie: “The killing of two lovers”.

Oppressive feelings, from start to end….

Tell me then if you feel the same emotions.


WW H(me): 51
W: 47
T: 26 M: 21
S: 16
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
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