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#2919815 06/14/21 04:29 PM
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DavidUK Offline OP
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I thought I woukd come back to give an update. Separation was 3 years ago. WW has been saying and doing anything to get what she wants.

WW has been found guilty of regularly breaking court orders for the kids to see me and as a result it looks like it could be changed become 50/50.

In the financial court, WW was found to be telling lots of lies and has been ordered to supply more financial details. She has continued to refuse to do so (as she has hidden lots of money) so is breaching court orders and now refusing to cooperate with the court and legal teams.

Ex has gone from looking incredibly happy and rushing to divorce when we separated to incredibly sad and refusing. Whereas for me it has been quite the opposite. I am now often happier than when I was when with WW.

So still not divorced.

DavidUK #2919817 06/14/21 04:52 PM
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DavidUK,

I'm not familiar with your sitch, but...

Originally Posted by DavidUK
I thought I woukd come back to give an update. Separation was 3 years ago. WW has been saying and doing anything to get what she wants.

3 years. Wow. That's a long time. That must be frustrating.

Originally Posted by DavidUK
WW has been found guilty of regularly breaking court orders for the kids to see me and as a result it looks like it could be changed become 50/50.

Must be a relief to get more time with your kids - potentially losing half my kids' lives was the scariest part for me in my sitch.

Originally Posted by DavidUK
Ex has gone from looking incredibly happy and rushing to divorce when we separated to incredibly sad and refusing. Whereas for me it has been quite the opposite. I am now often happier than when I was when with WW.

So still not divorced.

Sounds like your and your W's perspectives have flipped - are you pushing the D at this point?


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
DavidUK #2919822 06/14/21 06:03 PM
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DavidUK Offline OP
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Yes, it's now me pushing for divorce.

The problem at the moment is that ex is refusing to provide financial info that the court has ordered her to provide.

Previous Thread:

OK here's goes first post...

Last edited by job; 06/14/21 08:00 PM. Reason: added link to previous thread
DavidUK #2919836 06/14/21 10:53 PM
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Originally Posted by David
WW has been found guilty of regularly breaking court orders for the kids to see me and as a result it looks like it could be changed become 50/50.

In the US, 50/50 custody is the default. Sorry if it's different in the UK. smirk What were the penalties for being "found guilty"--fines, mandated courses, probation, jail-time? Hopefully, the penalties are enough to matter.

Originally Posted by David
In the financial court, WW was found to be telling lots of lies and has been ordered to supply more financial details. She has continued to refuse to do so (as she has hidden lots of money) so is breaching court orders and now refusing to cooperate with the court and legal teams.

You first reported her financial misdeeds in 2018. Slow-going, but glad you're close to an outcome.

Originally Posted by David
I am now often happier than when I was when with WW. Ex has gone from looking incredibly happy and rushing to divorce when we separated to incredibly sad and refusing.

I'm glad you're often happier. You sound like you're still working on detachment. At some point, you won't spend time speculating as to her feelings and may be totally okay that's she may also often be happier living separately. You may even prefer it for your kids. But that's probably sometime after your lawyers or barristers finish settling your contentious divorce case and the custody violations.



DavidUK #2919845 06/15/21 01:10 AM
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There are two court cases. A) Finances. B) Custody of the kids. WW has breached both orders. Enforcement orders were then made for both cases. Punishment warnings were attached to enforcement orders. WW has breached those too so that's next to deal with.

WW's behavior hasn't changed. It follows a pattern. What has helped most has been watching Utube videos learning about narcissists and how to deal with them. It has also helped me spot red flags in other people who were potential girlfriends. It is way better being single than to be with the wrong person.

DavidUK #2919853 06/15/21 09:53 AM
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Originally Posted by DavidUK

It has also helped me spot red flags in other people who were potential girlfriends. It is way better being single than to be with the wrong person.


So true.. This is where so many LBS mess up - they are so focused on the positive / feel good factor that they overlook the red flags.

You sound in a great place David. smile


Previous username - Helpme123.. A name chosen at a desperate time..

Now Mr Brightside.. coming out of my cage, and doing just fine.
DavidUK #2919868 06/15/21 03:32 PM
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Hi David ~ I never followed your sitch but I'm in a similar place and just want to say hang in there. I know how aggravating it can be to be sucked into the vortex of endless legal expenses.

I've always wondered... how can some people be so entitled/narcissistic etc.? The reality is, those people have some internal logic that makes sense to them and that does not make them seem like bad people. They can always point to past resentments and somehow craft logic that makes sense and justifies their actions. They can easily find lawyers who will happily support their fanciful narrations so they can continue litigation and digging in their heels righteously.

DavidUK #2919999 06/17/21 09:38 PM
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A new update... I have now heard that ex has managed to cancel the next court date by claiming to be too unwell mentally to provide bank statements. I expect her to claim the same months later at the next court date.

I am sure it isn't because WW wants to get back with me but rather to avoid providing bank statements showing she has hidden a lot of money (been financially abusive).

In 3 years it has gone from me being worried about D papers arriving and blaming myself for everything to the truth coming out and ex avoiding it.

DavidUK #2920001 06/17/21 10:26 PM
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Originally Posted by DavidUK
I expect her to claim the same months later at the next court date.

That's rough! The delay must be frustrating. Hopefully, your legal team can come up with a good response. It's easy to imagine a judge giving a pass once, harder to imagine twice without evidence.





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