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kml Offline
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But not because it’s true, or because of their partner. Just because they are depressed and unhappy within themselves, and like an alcoholic doing a geographic, think that if they change up their life they’ll feel better. Some just change with a sports car or a tattoo; when that fails to make them feel better, then they think their spouse must be the problem. Darn few of the MLC WASs seem to end up totally happy and fulfilled after their divorces, though, because they haven’t put in the work. Those of us LBSs though that HAVE put in the work, often come out happier in the end.

Again - I’m not talking about younger marriages where there may be real incompatibility issues. But if you’ve been happily married for the most part of 25 years, odds are it’s not about the LBS.

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kml, that sounds uber-frustrating to have played little to no part in their walking away. I can at least look back and say, despite my ex’s faults, where I goofed before BD#1. “I won’t make that mistake again.” E.g., I learned to stop arguing.

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Originally Posted by kml
But not because it’s true, or because of their partner. Just because they are depressed and unhappy within themselves, and like an alcoholic doing a geographic, think that if they change up their life they’ll feel better. Some just change with a sports car or a tattoo; when that fails to make them feel better, then they think their spouse must be the problem. Darn few of the MLC WASs seem to end up totally happy and fulfilled after their divorces, though, because they haven’t put in the work. Those of us LBSs though that HAVE put in the work, often come out happier in the end.

Again - I’m not talking about younger marriages where there may be real incompatibility issues. But if you’ve been happily married for the most part of 25 years, odds are it’s not about the LBS.

KML- It doesn’t change the point that it’s the WS spouse feeling when they are walking out the door. I never said it was Andrew’s fault. He still seems to be dumbfounded why she left. She thought she would be happier with OM then with him. Whether she is right or wrong is another story.

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Originally Posted by LH19
Originally Posted by kml
I don’t agree with LH. MLCers often leave because they’re depressed and think that will change if they’re with someone new (it seldom does because, wherever you go, there you are). Or because they’re bored and craving novelty (my ex was both of the above). Or simply because they fear aging, death and dying and are desperate to prove to themselves they’re still young (wait, that’s my ex too!).

Sounds to me exactly like "can't see a happy future together".



while scapegoating the LBS. happiness comes from within.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Wondering if I was going to bother posting or not. Darned seagulls. I remember when I was a boy out discing or scuffling in the fields that suddenly one seagull would show up out of nowhere looking for whatever got unearthed and then eventually they'd be all over the field.

Easy enough to ignore and they didn't get in the way - although there was that one day that one pooped in my sandwich - fortunately spotted in time.

I'm pleased that the latest news about my ex really didn't affect me at all. I'll admit to a mild curiosity but nothing that actually spurs me into action.

Taking a break from trying to get ahead of things for this week at the plant. I'm covering for a colleague in my old corporate role who is off to British Columbia with his family for 2 weeks. It's going to add an hour or two to each day - as long as everything goes smoothly. I've made sure my colleagues at the plant are aware.

Looking out I see that we have about 5 railcars inbound but it should be a nice steady week. The boss advised me this morning (he never stops working) that he was expecting to release those next Monday so we can take our time. Usually any cars we get in on a Monday night are processed and released the same day. I have 4 on our siding right now. One of them I'll release empty tomorrow, shunt one full one over for unloading and then 4 of these 5 we'll unload and the reload. The actual moving of cars around is becoming second nature now and the feedback I get every time I put together the planning is helping me do better. I know for example that one of the cars I need to get loaded won't be loaded until at least late this week and so since it's right at the front of the line, I need to be sure I can ship all the other cars that may be there. If I have to move a car out of the way and put it back, there's a seriously large charge to do that from the railway.

I'm working on getting back to "normal" again. I have a haircut with a new barber scheduled for next Tuesday - my old barber retired. Currently I'm styling the "mad scientist" look a la Dr. Julius Sumner and would like to get more George Clooney although there is a certain amount of mad scientist within me.

I reached out to my tailor to see if they still have my measurements for another batch of shirts and bought a new iron as my old one seems to be acting up. Not something that I can do without.

I need to work on keeping my distance from "P" - but it's hard. There's a fascination about her that is compelling despite our very real political differences and a certain "train wreck" vibe. She re-did her shop layout and promised cookies to those who came in. Well - she had me at cookies. They were pretty good. I'm pretty sure they were an intentional lure for me specifically because she commented that she was uncertain about making peanut butter cookies as she said that she thought to herself that "he just made some". We did end up chatting for over an hour. Given the heavy rain that was happening yesterday, her shop was very quiet. I was surprised / unsurprised to learn that she is a great-grandmother. I think she's a year or so younger than I am.

I was disappointed to learn at the flower shop that the owner and most of the staff have had to isolate for 2 weeks because of a Covid infection. They were closed last weekend so that explains that. The staff member who was working told me that she had been talking to "F" on the phone the day before and got her ear talked off. Isolating at home with a small child and no other human contact seems to be hard. "F" was saying that she was running out of things to clean. I was jealous - I'm not currently able to keep up here and some things are just having to be let slide. There's a long weekend coming up though so perhaps that will help.

I've not written about my cat recently - and he just jumped up on the desk. The biting behavour he had is greatly reduced. I've largely, with the help of a spray bottle, stopped him from chewing on things to get my attention and he chews on me much less. I don't stop him, but I don't encourage it. I expect his former owner played fairly rough with him, which he likes but I don't. He's also doing fine now that I have him back on his hypoallergenic food too which is good. He's much less independent than what I'm used to and likes being in whatever room I happen to be in.

I did take it a bit easy yesterday - the rain prevented outside work - and had a nice afternoon soak in the tub with one of those nice bath bombs from "P"'s shop and watched the rain outside and the trees waving in the wind while I read a bit of my new book on the history of the late 15th century. I'm just a hedonistic, wild and crazy kinda guy ain't I crazy

Well - this stuff sadly isn't going to do itself. I need to get a few reports out of the way, the paperwork for tomorrow's loads ready, my ironing done yadda yadda yadda. I'm also going to pop "in to town" to pick up a few things. With the heavy rains yesterday, my grass is too wet to cut.

I haven't decided on what to have for dinner yet but do have a loaf of bread out rising. Probably something light. Maybe tuna macaroni - I've not done that for a while. I have some goats cheese that would be nice in the sauce. Ah - the joys of typing things out - helps with the decision making.

Hasta manana amigos


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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kml Offline
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Quote
I need to work on keeping my distance from "P" - but it's hard. There's a fascination about her that is compelling despite our very real political differences and a certain "train wreck" vibe.


No, no, no! What IS it with you and the train wrecks? For a guy who seems to value order, why are you attracted to chaos? This is a very serious question you need to answer before you start dating again.

And be careful about those political differences. These days, unfortunately, those differences seem to be less about tax policy and foreign policy, and much more about grievance and self interest versus caring about one’s fellow man and believing in science. I don’t see how one could have a happy relationship without agreement on those basic values

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helzzzzz no AndyP ... run, don't walk away from the trainwreck great grandma!!!


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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that fascination is what causes cars to slow down at accident sites, btw


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
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kml Offline
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Lol bttrfly’s right! Stop gawking!

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I feel you, Andrew. Remember how I blocked all calls/texts from Ms BunnyBoiler? It's because as much as I could see she was.. a little dangerous for me.. I felt a pull that was hard to ignore.

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