Just a bit of observation on a Wednesday. Working from home as usual on a Wednesday to try to catch up on my sleep. There's less going on at the plant on Wednesdays and Fridays.
Things are still pretty nuts. Yesterday I was harrassing a supplier in Texas who was supposed to have shipped me up a load of product in late June who then promised today and now has pushed me off to the end of the month. Which is going to upset "my" customers who were expecting their order to be filled 2 weeks ago. My boss has agreed to stick-handle that one which I appreciate. They'll take it perhaps a bit better from the company president than some random flunky with a weird job title. Like us, they are having problems getting trucks and drivers to ship for a big increase in orders. Being a smaller customer we got moved down the list I would imagine.
My job continues to be vague and undefined. Which has some benefits and numerous drawbacks. This morning I had to make a decision about production that I would have thought was the responsibility of the Operations manager but he dumped it on my lap. It helped that he agreed with the decision - probably wanted it to stick to me and not him.
With all the crazy there was one good thing. As anyone who has been playing the home game knows, I'm struggling. This old dog is trying to learn new tricks. I do have quite a bit of visibility into my old corporate role and had been worried that things were going sideways and made sure my current boss was aware. I joke to him that I feel it's important to always beat the bad news even if it's nipping on your heels.
So yesterday, things did indeed go sideways - I was already aware and somewhat involved. Then the people at corporate escalated a cry for help all the way to the top and then back down to me and I was instructed to drop everything and help and that he would cover for me. It took about an hour, mostly talking to people and pointing them in the right direction and then calling people to calm them down. I think my boss was a bit surprised by how confident and capable I can indeed be when I am in a situation where I know all the details.
He's been patient with me and I do incrementally get better. And I got paid today so that's good.
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I make no secret of the fact that I'm a middle-aged divorced guy living alone with his cat. I've attracted occasional "lurkers in the weeds" - the most recent one being a woman who is a friend of a friend that appears to be going through considerable drama in her life who connected to me out of the blue on social media. After checking that the profile was legit, I accepted. There's the middle-aged lady who works at the gas station who seemed pretty excited and got all giggly when she found out that I broke up with my girlfriend last November (she had seemingly been keeping track and asked how she was). And the young single-mother who works at the beer store who got all excited to see me and showed off pictures of her son when I stopped in for a six pack last week. And of course possibly "P" from around the corner etc etc. There are also some other women who have connected on social media for no explicable reason. Some are absolutely what I refer to as "Russian Brides" - young women who can't seem to afford many clothes, but many seem to just be every-day folk who must be interested in pictures of food, plants and my cat.
It's nice that I appear to be attracting some interest. Certainly the young single mother and the woman with all the drama aren't people to spend any serious time with - but it makes me feel good. On the other hand, for an introvert, I'm a pretty outgoing and friendly guy in one on one interactions.
One thing that I "have" learned I hope, is that just because someone might be interested in me, that creates no obligation on my part.
I'm still feeling reluctant / ambivalent about dating. I am looking forward to getting out with friends soon though although fitting that into my busy days will be a challenge.
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Since today is payday I was looking out to see how I'm doing on my various financial obligations. Payment 45 of 77 to my ex is this month. My savings account is looking modestly solid although my emergency fund is still below the 1 month mark. It really should be up to at least 2 months. A lot better than the negative number I hit when S was here and buying presents and groceries for her family.
As of next month I'll have 32 more months of support payments (monthly), 39 more months of car payments (bi-weekly) and an estimated 141 mortgage payments (weekly). Obviously once I have the cash, paying down the mortgage is the priority. My mortgage is quite modest and paying weekly helps a lot in getting the balance down. By the time I hit retirement age, I will have paid off the amount of equity I had to give my ex-wife in the divorce
There's still the opportunity to sell part of my property which if that happens I would hope to get the money I gave to my ex back.
Well - time for another pot of tea and then to review some lab results and tank levels.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Don't be too hard on Texas. It is HOT down here and we move a little slower and talk a lot slower in the south, especially in July and August when it is 1000 degrees with 10,000% humidity. LOL And yet, I still don't want to live in the great white north with snowstorms and -40 degree days. To each his own, I suppose.
You are handling the whole vague and such of your job much better than I would. I don't need a micromanager and I don't even really need a lot of direction, but I do need some sense that I'm rowing the boat in the same direction as others who have the same interests. Again, to each his own. LOL
While I'm glad you are attracting attention, just be careful of exactly what attention you are attracting. The young single mom and the drama queen are probably better left to their own devices, but then, you probably already know that.
I applaud your efforts in paying down things. We are back in a car payment thanks to my untimely wreck in December, but I try to pay extra when I can to get that payment off of us as soon as humanly possible. I hate debt, but when we are supporting 2 households, we just can't get it paid down as fast as we could if we were only supporting ourselves. Ugh............sometimes adult responsibilities just blow chunks!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
So - in three years, you'll have the car, the house, AND the ex-wife paid off? Or is that 141 monthly mortgage payments broken down into weekly chunks?
No, just because some woman expresses interest in you, doesn't mean you have to respond. In fact, the mere fact that you don't feel ready to date right now is enough, and you can tell them that if any are so bold as to ask. It's an honest answer.
Hope you are able to sell that chunk of your property - a windfall like that would be very nice.
As for your emergency savings - I would imagine that will grow pretty quickly, unless Monty the cat starts ordering things online while you're at work. One person living alone can really live pretty cheaply, especially when working all the time! But if you'd like more income, there's always the option of taking on a paying roommate. Honestly, if I didn't have CMM (who is too persnickety to tolerate a roommate), I would be renting out one of my spare bedrooms right now and putting that money to paying off my mortgage earlier.
Yeah - typo. 141 months, not weeks. So I'll be 68 before being mortgage free unless I accelerate the payments more - which is certainly going to happen once I have my ex paid off. I send her the equivalent of 3 month's mortgage every month. I'm positive that I'm paying for her house too. The math works out that she she would only have to cover the interest out of her own payments (I looked up what she paid). If she's smart she secured her mortgage against the support payments and whatever other flaws she may have, she's a pretty smart lady who seems to have made some solid financial choices post-divorce. I had expected her to blow the cash on a sports car and travel but she's still driving around in her paid-off 11 year old car and no longer travels like we used to and like she did (on marital funds) with OM. One of the several reasons I'm figuring that OM is not nearly as well off as I had presumed him to be.
If I apply the money I spend in support as mortgage payments then my mortgage is paid off 2 years after I pay her off. So 6 years earlier.
Early on I'd mused about the idea of offering to rent out part of the house to a single mom with some kids. This is a great place for that. Big back yard, close to the park, lots of room. In exchange I'd get some company and meals - was the plan Not even thinking about "fringe benefits". I know anecdotally how hard it is for a single parent families to make ends meet and find decent housing. After my experience with S - nope - and her kids were teens. I could certainly see the same patterns happening - house a mess, my having to help out with child care and supervision, cover extras financially. And there's the optics of it too. Middle aged guy with a young "room-mate".
I used to have room-mates before I was married - even female ones. Generally worked out ok. I don't really need the money - my occupancy cost in this big 4 bedroom house is only slightly more than what my son pays for his 1 bedroom apartment.
I do feel guilty about rattling around in here while there are serious housing issues in this area and need to make sure that doesn't cause me to do another rescue. As I've learned first hand and also from reading the stories of others, financially secure and responsible guys of almost any age are a fairly rare commodity.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Yeah - I'd say just someone who has a plan and knows how to budget is rare. My dating experiences post-divorce have included: A restauranteur who lost his long time business because he'd let his insurance lapse ("it was too expensive") and there was a kitchen leak that caused tons of damage to the business downstairs. At least he owned the fourplex that he and his two adult kids lived in, and rents one unit out.
Crazy ex-boyfriend who routinely lost everything he accumulated when he'd go into a manic episode.
Exterminator who ran his own solo business and under-reported his income to the IRS so I expect him to have very little social security when the time comes. Lived in an apartment with his mom. (She is a sweetheart).
CMM who used to make a great living in telecom sales but between divorce, a disabling knee injury 6 mos later that kept him off work for a year, then being laid off, then facing age discrimination and not being able to get back to that high income, then losing his job due to tariffs right before his lung cancer diagnosis - and generally having champagne tastes - just has his social security.
Honestly, so far not one guy I've dated actually had good basic financial skills. So yes, you are a rare find, Andrew!
one of the things that gave me pause about K is that I'm not sure about his spending. He seems to overspend quite often and then have to wait for the next check. I know that was a big issue for his exw. I'm not eager to bring someone like that into my inner circle. had quite enough of that with my own exh. I see zero reason to co-mingle my money with anyone's ever again. if I do opt to co-habitate with someone, we can split expenses like room mates would ...
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Honestly, so far not one guy I've dated actually had good basic financial skills. So yes, you are a rare find, Andrew!
I agree it's a rare skill. It's on my ToDo list after I get my house in shape! I'm impressed Andrew knows how many months and years until various things are paid off. I'm like--am I alive in 6mo? Good enough.
Just some musing on different lifestyles. Recently I had to buy a new garbage can for the kitchen. I was emptying it so rarely that it developed a rather malodorous miasma which it took me a while to realize was coming from the can. This is the same garbage can that was in the kitchen 10+ years ago when we were a family of 4 - so I downsized quite a bit and probably should have some time ago.
I've not put the garbage - which is staged in a shed outside - out to the curb in over a month. Just not enough to justify using up a garbage tag. So going from 1 can every 2 weeks when it was my son and I to 3 + cans when S and her boys were here to about 1/3 of a can now. Makes me feel good that I'm generating so little waste. Perhaps this is one of the signs of compatibility I need to look for
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Work continues to be beyond crazy stupid busy. The problems I was worried about in my former corporate IT role blossomed as I thought they might so I'm having to deal with that and the corporate politics which I had forgotten how much I hate. We're also running the plant flat out to the point where we had to shut down for several hours yesterday to allow for some repairs to be done.
My boss is a micromanager and his way of dealing with stress is to manage even more microscopically. He's also one of those people who thinks of themselves as "adaptable" so is constantly changing his mind. It's pretty impossible for anyone, especially me to be able to keep up.
I've decided that I'm going to have to go in to the plant every day and stop working from home through the week. At least for the present. There was just too much chaos which was laid at my feet - trucks showing up when they weren't supposed to, the guys not being clear on what it was they were supposed to do yadda yadda yadda. I'm still not clear at all where the boundaries of my job are. The operations manager makes it clear when he thinks I've overstepped but I seem to be doing at least half of what I had thought was his job. It means less sleep which I'm short on as it is, but that's the only way I can think of to avoid things spiraling out of control. Maybe when orders go down again as they should once our competitors get back online I can revisit working from home.
I've built a good rapport with the guys though. I've been making a joke that my only real function is to carry my clipboard around. Not taking yourself too seriously, admitting when you make a mistake, all are things that work well with front line workers. They've been open about making suggestions, pointing me in the right direction on things, letting me know when they disagree but also asking for direction so - it's pretty good.
I'm going to be working much of this weekend on a mix of the corporate and plant functions. Blech. My grass also needs to be cut and I need to pick some currants plus all the usual housework things. I kind of envy my colleagues who have someone to help - they've looked surprised when I mention that - yeah - in addition to all the business work, I also have to do all the work of maintaining a household even if it's a household for one.
Even though - once she landed me - S was lousy at being supportive and my ex wasn't very good at it either, I could really use someone to lean on. My ex get mad at me whenever I complained about work so I rarely talked about my day with her, just listened to her litany of woes. I do miss the "idea" of someone who I could lean on and share the burdens of every-day life with. I would presume that someone like that exists - I'm like that so presumably others are too. The cat - well - he's kind but the sort of narcissistic critter that all cats are. He does usually hang out on my desk with me like he does now so it's nice to have that other soul around.
I've put in a request for "a week or so" off in August - probably mid-August. Hopefully by then the current production and sales issues will be behind us. I did take a week off in May but just need some way to "let go" of the stress.
It does seem that we are opening up the province for a more normal life fairly soon which is good. It will be nice to see my friends again. I've invited my son out for Brunch tomorrow - haven't heard anything back so that's probably not happening. His 27th birthday is coming up next month - I'll have to see what I can do for him. He'll probably be working so not available for dinner. I can't recall that he's never been unavailable for his birthday so I presume his mother ignores that.
Well - time to find my shoes and hit the road to do the necessary errands before getting back to the grind.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Hmmmm - My "something's odd" bump is itching like mad.
When I was driving "into town" today I saw my son walking what I presume is OM's dog. His car was parked at his mother's house, no sign of OM's truck but his son's truck was parked outside.
I've "never" seen my son's car at his mother's house on the weekend and him walking OM's dog by himself is just weird.
I will confess that I checked the obituary column in the local paper when I got home. I'm not sure how much older OM is but he's probably in his 70s.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Instead of a more logical explanation like they went out of town and S is watching the dog for him, you think he’s dead and you checked the obituary? Your imagination goes into serious overdrive when it comes to them.
