Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 10 1 2 3 4 9 10
kml #2919804 06/14/21 12:56 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
K
kml Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
Just watched In the Heights (on GBO Max - much as I would have liked to see it in the theater, still don’t feel that’s safe with my boyfriend on chemo). SO so good. Highly recommend it!

kml #2919805 06/14/21 01:26 AM
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 4,627
Likes: 71
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 4,627
Likes: 71
Ooh! A musical. It's PG-13 so may wait to see that one with my kids. (:

kml #2919806 06/14/21 01:57 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
K
kml Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
Yes, nothing at all objectionable to the kids. In fact, it’s told in the form of a guy telling a story to four young kids. It’s on HBO Max but they only keep movies like that for a couple of weeks so don’t wait too long.

kml #2920070 06/19/21 10:37 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
K
kml Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
Quiet week, busy at work, CMM tired as is usual for the week after chemo but I think doing a little better than last month (we asked to reduce his chemo slightly this round.)

Had the zoom chat with my distant cousin (I believe we share a great great grandfather) who is doing an art project about race and family and will be visiting this summer. She’s mixed race -black on her fathers side, French Canadian on the side related to me, with some Jewish heritage thrown in their somewhere too. She’s lovely and it will be fun to be a participant in her project. It’s being funded by National Geographic I think. Cool huh?

On a different note - thought of something a few days ago. My ex and I met in medical school. I had a roommate, he had a roommate. About 8 months into dating, we were spending half our time at his place and half at mine. My roommate was planning to move to another city to be with a new boyfriend. His roommate was kicking him out (in retrospect, I think I should have questioned him more closely about why). It seemed to make sense for him to move in with me.

A couple months after he moved in, he left for a month working in a clinic in Hawaii, along with a handful of classmates. He then came home for a few days, then flew home for a vacation visit with his family. (He had the summer off, I was in school all summer).

Anyway - on that week he was home between travels , he announced that he didn’t think we should live together. I was blindsided, as things had been going quite well I thought. He tried to blame it on his father not approving, but this was the first I’d heard of it. I remember doing a version of the “pick me dance” and by the time he’d returned from his visit with his family we were back on , living together.

But it did dawn on me, last week, knowing what I know now about him - he probably cheated on me during that Hawaii trip! That would explain the sudden flip flop on living together (guilt!) and then reversal after his vacation home (his brothers probably talked some sense into him), There were women classmates on that trip.

I don’t know why I be never put two and two together before, but I’d be willing to bet now that that was the first time he cheated on me. God I was dumb!

kml #2920096 06/20/21 04:09 PM
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 4,627
Likes: 71
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 4,627
Likes: 71
kml, you're probably right, but remember to only knee him in the groin for the cheating you're certain about!

kml #2920127 06/21/21 04:22 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
K
kml Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
Lol - nope. karma and life has taken care of that for me, I don't need to do anything to him. And it's not like I care after all this time, it's just unraveling all the lies makes sense of so much in my past life that I was oblivious to. And boy I was gullible.
Like the time a surfing friend of my ex's accused my ex of having made a pass at his wife. At the time I totally bought my ex's side of the story and thought perhaps the friend was just overly jealous or the wife had simply misinterpreted a friendly gesture from my extroverted H. Now, of course, I'm sure he must have done something inappropriate. So many little things like that.
Or the time he came home from a business trip and told me the story of a call girl coming to his door and finding that he was not the customer, asking to use the phone. At the time I thought oh, he's being so transparent. Now of course I suspect he was signaling that he became her substitute client.
Narcissists are pretty good at lying to your face when it suits their purposes.

kml #2920133 06/21/21 04:57 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
K
kml Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
On a completely different note - if anyone's looking for something light to watch, check out Starstruck on HBO Max. Very cute and funny story about a 20-something young woman who gets drunks and sleeps with a guy, only to discover the next morning that he's a famous movie star. Quite fun.

kml #2920134 06/21/21 05:09 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 4,227
Likes: 63
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 4,227
Likes: 63
Originally Posted by kml
At the time I thought oh, he's being so transparent. Now of course I suspect he was signaling that he became her substitute client.
Narcissists are pretty good at lying to your face when it suits their purposes.
This reminds me when at the height of her affair when she was still doing the double-life thing that my ex suddenly became "very transparent" - telling me when she was out and where she was going and who she was with.

In hindsight - I honestly don't know what the truth was but those sort of crumbs certainly kept me dancing and hoping. I think at the time that someone wrote to me here something to the effect of her shining a light on what she wanted me to see so that I wouldn't see what she wanted kept hidden.

There was also the time when she went away with a GF and came back complaining that her friend was out all night partying - her friend had a story that was the exact opposite I only heard long after she left.

I've heard that a big part of the thrill of an affair is the "getting away with it" part.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
kml #2920141 06/21/21 06:47 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
K
kml Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
yeah - there were other times when my ex telegraphed stuff that he was doing (that I see now in retrospect but that went completely over my head at the time). It's like they are so excited about their secret that they want to share it with the person they share everything else with?

kml #2920868 07/04/21 07:34 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
K
kml Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
CMM is cooking ribs for Independence Day and they are smelling goooood!!!

Been a busy weekend so far (drove an hour and a half to second son’s to help him with a car purchase). Today and tomorrow are for relaxing.

Funny story to tell. Had a new patient earlier this week. As she was preparing to leave, she asked if she should bring her husband to see me. He has a mysterious painful rash when exposed to the sun for even a few minutes, and if he gets re-exposed to the sun within a couple days the reaction is even worse. I had an inkling what this might be, and after a little research I’m pretty sure I know what it will be (very rare disease). So the next day I’m talking to my sister on speakerphone in the office I share with my business partner (another MD). I’m telling my sister that I feel like a rare disease magnet lately and start to tell her the story and my sister (who has no medical training) shouts out “Is it porphyria????”. (That is indeed what I was just about to tell her I think it is).

Oh, you should have seen my partner’s face! She’s like “wait, I didn’t even know about porphyria, how does her non-medical sister know this??? “

Turns out, just by chance, my sister’s friend has a daughter who is being worked up for strange symptoms and porphyria is one of the things they’re considering, so my sister got curious and had just read upon porphyria that weekend! But my partner now thinks I come from a family of geniuses lol.

It’s very rare, and I obviously need to get a lot more of the medical history, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a particular form of cutaneous porphyria called EPP. I’m looking forward to helping this guy.

Page 2 of 10 1 2 3 4 9 10

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard