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Re: I'm Climbing The Mountain in 29 Days [Re: CWarrior] #2918531
05/05/21 12:20 AM
05/05/21 12:20 AM
Joined: Jun 2019
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CWarrior Online OP
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CWarrior  Online OP
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So far, online dating seems incredibly easy. 30 women want to message me. 3 dates setup--on rest days, walks + picnics--so I'm actually getting in some extra steps, paying little, and making my trainer happy.

I'll report if they're all crazy, 50# heavier, 6" shorter, with delusional self-descriptions.

My expectation is good people where one or both of us don't feel it. (:


May'19 - separation. | Dec'19, Oct'20, Jan'21 - painful breakups. | Jan'21 - freedom!
"We the ones who play hard, we live hard, we love hard, we light up the dark." -- Kesha

Re: I'm Climbing The Mountain in 29 Days [Re: CWarrior] #2918532
05/05/21 12:53 AM
05/05/21 12:53 AM
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DejaVu6 Online
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How about just having no expectations...lol. See what happens. Are you sure that training that much is actually benefitting you CW. Too much of a good thing is still too much, IMO. Hope at least one of your dates goes better than expected. laugh


Me 51
H 46
B/G Twins 11
SD19
Legal SA - January 2019
Divorce filed - June 2019
Divorce final - November 2019

Together 14 years
Married 12 years
BD1 - May 2014
BD2 - September 14, 2018

Re: I'm Climbing The Mountain in 29 Days [Re: CWarrior] #2918535
05/05/21 03:40 AM
05/05/21 03:40 AM
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Posts: 1,898
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DonH Offline
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DonH  Offline
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Just read two different posts - one right after the other and had to point out the contrasts

Originally Posted by CWarrior
So far, online dating seems incredibly easy. 30 women want to message me. 3 dates setup:

Iím Still speechless... 30 women? As in real woman?

Originally Posted by shotgun
Dating sites are pretty much a cesspool of unhealthy and broken people. Few ever look like their profile pictures. The self evaluations and descriptions are often delusional. There are a limited number of jewels in that realm however.

Ah yes, now this is the OLD many of us have experienced.

But best of luck to you CWarrior. I guess if the first 3 donít work out thereís still 27 more where they came from.


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Re: I'm Climbing The Mountain in 29 Days [Re: CWarrior] #2918550
05/05/21 03:48 PM
05/05/21 03:48 PM
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bttrfly Offline
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Originally Posted by CWarrior
So far, online dating seems incredibly easy. 30 women want to message me. 3 dates setup--on rest days, walks + picnics--so I'm actually getting in some extra steps, paying little, and making my trainer happy.

I'll report if they're all crazy, 50# heavier, 6" shorter, with delusional self-descriptions.

My expectation is good people where one or both of us don't feel it. (:

anything worthwhile is worth working for. beware of what's too easy. the cost is usually hidden or up front. you're lucky if it's the latter rather than the former ... color me cynical and hoping you're on the mend.


M 20+ T25+
S 15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
H moved out 4/24/15
D Final 12/23/16

Everyone is doing the best they can, even if it's a lousy job.
Re: I'm Climbing The Mountain in 29 Days [Re: CWarrior] #2918552
05/05/21 04:07 PM
05/05/21 04:07 PM
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kml Online
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CW sounds like you have a nice amount of people to screen through. Hoping something good comes out of your coffee dates, but be patient and look for the red flags early on in the relationship.

Re: I'm Climbing The Mountain in 29 Days [Re: CWarrior] #2918558
05/05/21 05:36 PM
05/05/21 05:36 PM
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Posts: 2,845
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CWarrior Online OP
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CWarrior  Online OP
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Deja Vu, thank you, you're exactly right--no expectations and an open mind. "Are you sure that training that much is actually benefitting you CW." Yes, both my endurance coach and guide would have me do more if I weren't also working.

Don, no expectations, it may take a few dates to ascertain if the 30 women are indeed real women. wink

Lesson #1 - Online Daters are Flaky

Date #1 - 2 days after confirming our date, MsShyDancer(43/F) messages, "How long have you been a single parent?" I said, "A bit over 10yrs, so my ex-wife and I *might* be over each other, lol. We do get along. How old are your kids?" She unmatched/blocked me, so presumably, my answer was a "red flag". I'm.. okay with that. I have a hard time mustering hurt feelings over being rejected at a glance by someone who barely knows me.

Date #2 - MsSoloAdventuress(42/F) said "definitely" Thursday and she'll text me Time A or Time B that night. The next morning, she texts, "Sorry, my weekend's fully booked, it would have to be next week sometime." That annoyed me--telling me definitely when she wasn't free, not telling me promptly, not proposing a second time. I'm a busy guy. I'm docking her a point, and won't continue to chat, but left it at "I understand. Let me know when you're available."

Date #3 - Added MsCutePuppy(46/F). Her puppy is cute. I decided I can't date someone to get close to their puppy, so I asked pointed questions about her workouts and travel style. She sold me she often needs a vacation from her vacation and prefers not to splurge on lodging/dining so she can travel more. She runs and swims every morning. She offered to drive to me and bring her puppy on the first date. Well played. An evening walk and appetizers for her.

*** In training news, the others climbing The Mountain with me created a Facebook group. We all took our fitness assessments. I'm in the best shape of my life, but the worst shape in the group, lol. My odds have been corrected from 63% to 67%. I know what I need to work on to improve them further. I feel where I'm at I probably will summit but I will have to work through much more pain and suck than the other athletes.


May'19 - separation. | Dec'19, Oct'20, Jan'21 - painful breakups. | Jan'21 - freedom!
"We the ones who play hard, we live hard, we love hard, we light up the dark." -- Kesha

Re: I'm Climbing The Mountain in 29 Days [Re: CWarrior] #2918585
05/06/21 01:45 AM
05/06/21 01:45 AM
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CWarrior Online OP
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Omigosh! First date tomorrow--46F, runs and swims daily (fit, normal BMI), seeking a life partner, doesn't want kids, describes herself as loyal and adventurous, and her travel style sounds compatible.

I'm excited for my first date, nervous what goofs I'll make--but I feel like it's date 1 of 10-20 instead of possibly a match. Because attraction is hard to gauge, profiles don't advertise flaws, and I'm bound to make newbie mistakes. I want my heart and head fully open to the chance, even if it's 10%, we'll get lucky and we'll both want date #2 I'll probably feel more like success is possible if I clean my car. Yeah, that's the ticket. Andrew says clean my car. (:


May'19 - separation. | Dec'19, Oct'20, Jan'21 - painful breakups. | Jan'21 - freedom!
"We the ones who play hard, we live hard, we love hard, we light up the dark." -- Kesha

Re: I'm Climbing The Mountain in 29 Days [Re: CWarrior] #2918586
05/06/21 01:59 AM
05/06/21 01:59 AM
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OnlyBent Online
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Just be yourself CDub, and let that shine through. Who cares whether she likes the authentic you or not, beyond your control. If that means goofs, so be it.


Me: 38 W:40
T: 14 M: 11
S: 4
BD1: IHS Nov 2019
BD2: ILYBNILWY Jun 2020
OM since Jun 2020
W moves out Aug 2020

"What happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way...because it didn't"
Re: I'm Climbing The Mountain in 29 Days [Re: CWarrior] #2918587
05/06/21 02:49 AM
05/06/21 02:49 AM
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 2,845
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CWarrior Online OP
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Thanks, OnlyBent. I wonder who CW is when it comes to dating. I used to follow a process that got me high 1st to 2nd date conversions--early subtle contact, followed by holding hands, followed by a kiss at the end. Is that me? I know some here champion attraction techniques. Part of me wants a more genuine process.

I guess I'll just have to be curious about who I am when I date, too!


May'19 - separation. | Dec'19, Oct'20, Jan'21 - painful breakups. | Jan'21 - freedom!
"We the ones who play hard, we live hard, we love hard, we light up the dark." -- Kesha

Re: I'm Climbing The Mountain in 29 Days [Re: CWarrior] #2918590
05/06/21 03:51 AM
05/06/21 03:51 AM
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Posts: 1,898
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DonH Offline
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Originally Posted by CWarrior
Date #1 - 2 days after confirming our date, MsShyDancer(43/F) unmatched/blocked me,

Date #2 - MsSoloAdventuress(42/F) said "definitely" Thursday and she'll text me Time A or Time B that night. The next morning, she texts, "Sorry, my weekend's fully booked, it would have to be next week sometime."

This is so darn typical of OLD. Itís what myself and so many others have expierenced. You are handing it well. But itís still early in the process. The thing is, itís just uncalled for and wrong yet very much the norm. And what kind of oeopke do this? Those serious about dating or meeting someone? People who are mature, well adjusted and would make a great partner? Of course not! Rather they are broken and as you put it, flakes. The problem is this is who dominate OLD. And while none of us should take it personally, after you run into this over and over and over again it becomes soul sucking. Itís what takes an initially great idea of OLD and ruins it. At least it has for me.

Thanks for providing the honest play by play. I really do hope you beat the odds and find that 1 in 30 or perhaps 1 in 50 person before you just canít take another flake and run screaming for the exit. Itís so sad that people like these are the rule rather the exception to OLD and itís even worse they dominate and ruin OLD.


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
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