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Re: I'm gonna take that mountain... [Re: CWarrior] #2917840
04/15/21 04:25 PM
04/15/21 04:25 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,928
Southern Maryland
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Posts: 27,928
Southern Maryland
My condolences on the loss of your daughters' grandfather.

I hope that Sparky is feeling better today and is looking forward to working at the bakery. Congratulations to him on accepting the position. I'm sure he will enjoy working there.

Congratulations on the birth of your grandson!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Re: I'm gonna take that mountain... [Re: Dawn70] #2917853
04/15/21 08:15 PM
04/15/21 08:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,722
Canada
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AndrewP Offline
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Canada
My then wife worked at the shop across the street doing the baking for quite a few years. It was nice welcoming her home with a big hug and smelling cinnamon buns. Certainly be nicer than sweat and whatever they used for sand-blasting ...

Now I'm hungry ....


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: I'm gonna take that mountain... [Re: Dawn70] #2917855
04/15/21 08:40 PM
04/15/21 08:40 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,786
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Thanks for the nice comments. I get to meet baby boy tomorrow and I can't wait to get in some baby snuggles, because who doesn't like those, right? He's a precious one for sure. They got to go home today and are resting, so I will be excited to see them.

Andrew, I am not really sure how to give your son grandparent lessons. I think he's got to figure that out on his own. I know plenty of young biscuit makers, though, so send him on down to visit for a week or so and I'll see if I can't send him home with some ideas.

Sparky is feeling better and is super excited about starting his job next week. He LOVES to cook and is looking forward to learning more about the baking side of it. I'm the baker, he's the cook, but he's excited to learn more. He's already promising me yummy baked goods and I'm a fat girl, so I'm definitely going to have to work on getting more exercise into my routine to balance those goodies he's going to bring home. Definitely will smell better than his usual sweat and sand, for sure.

XH's XW continues to be oblivious about stuff, asking me questions today that we have JUST talked about. Yeah, she lost her dad this week and has a new grandbaby, but d@mn! The sad part is, even if she didn't have those huge emotional distractions, she'd be the same way. It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round, I guess.

My poor youngest daughter lost her mother-in-law this morning. They knew it was inevitable, but I think were kind of hoping she had a little more time. I'm SO proud of all of my girls and how they have handled themselves this week. They have been strong steel magnolias and I'm so proud of all of them. I may not have given birth to them, but I can certainly see my influence in how they deal with things and it makes me oh so proud to be a part of their life and have them be a part of mine.

Only a few more minutes, them I'm off to enjoy a 3-day weekend and get some family time. I'll miss Sparky, but am looking forward to hanging out with my daughters.


Me 51, H52
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
7 grandkids
Re: I'm gonna take that mountain... [Re: Dawn70] #2917878
04/16/21 05:24 PM
04/16/21 05:24 PM
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 2,845
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CWarrior Online
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Originally Posted by Dawn70
I'm the baker, he's the cook, but he's excited to learn more. He's already promising me yummy baked goods and I'm a fat girl, so I'm definitely going to have to work on getting more exercise into my routine to balance those goodies he's going to bring home. Definitely will smell better than his usual sweat and sand, for sure.

This sounds like a great "problem" to have! I'm glad you are both so excited about the new job.

Originally Posted by Dawn70
Only a few more minutes, them I'm off to enjoy a 3-day weekend and get some family time. I'll miss Sparky, but am looking forward to hanging out with my daughters.

Have a great weekend, Dawn! Wow--you can leave for a weekend and it's okay. Healthy relationships, lol.


May'19 - separation. | Dec'19, Oct'20, Jan'21 - painful breakups. | Jan'21 - freedom!
"We the ones who play hard, we live hard, we love hard, we light up the dark." -- Kesha

Re: I'm gonna take that mountain... [Re: Dawn70] #2917917
04/18/21 02:28 PM
04/18/21 02:28 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 5,590
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COngrats on your grandson! Very exciting! SOunds like while you and sparky face your challenges, you get through them and offer the support you both need. You guys are the example of a health relationship. Although I don't comment much, I always read, and follow along in FB.

Re: I'm gonna take that mountain... [Re: Dawn70] #2917954
04/19/21 01:20 PM
04/19/21 01:20 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 4,117
Massachusetts
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bttrfly Offline
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I've been thinking about Sparky's new gig and even mentioned to someone that a friend's husband lost his job and now has one doing something completely different, but which is a passion of his, showing that something that seemingly is a tough break can actually be something that pushes one to a place more in line with one's true self. I do hope I'm right about this and look forward to reading about Sparky's new work adventures. I have a feeling he's going to be amazingly happy there.

And congrats to you on the new grandbaby boy!!! Such fun!!! May you all enjoy many hours of love and laughter! xoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S 15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
H moved out 4/24/15
D Final 12/23/16

Everyone is doing the best they can, even if it's a lousy job.
Re: I'm gonna take that mountain... [Re: Dawn70] #2917955
04/19/21 01:34 PM
04/19/21 01:34 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,786
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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As always, thanks for the comments. CW, I was actually not gone all weekend. I left our house about 10:00 Friday morning and returned about 5:00 Saturday evening. But, yes, I would like to think that Sparky and I have a healthy relationship. We enjoy our time together, but we are also secure in having time apart. I urge him to go do things with friends and his daughters. He and one of his daugthers has a regular date day every few months, at my insistence, that is just the 2 of them. They were dad/daughter long before I came along so every part of their relationship should not be infiltrated by my presence. His daughters like me, but they need time with their dad that is just about them. So, yes, I would say we know how to balance togetherness with our own interests.

I had a great time with my girls. We did a paint and sip party, ate snacks, did spa treatments, had girl talk and laughed until we cried. We ate, shopped, and just had a great time together. I also got to meet and snuggle the new grandbaby and he is PERFECT. It was a GREAT weekend. The girls' mom was fine and she didn't even annoy me, so there is that. LOL

I felt a little bad for the birthday girl because right after they arrived at the hotel, her dad (my XH) called. She didn't answer the phone and youngest daughter looked at the phone, saw it was him and started to answer, but then didn't. I knew something was up, because middle daughter is ALL about attention on her birthday and their dad always makes a big deal of birthdays. She told me that he had yelled at her the day the grandson was born and that she hasn't spoken to him since. In typical XH fashion, he wasn't put first and it p!ssed him off. The girls' mom was texting me, her mom, and youngest daughter from the hospital giving us updates about baby's birth. Middle daughter was in charge of texting her husband and her dad. Oldest daughter was obviously busy having a baby, so her husband was texting his family to keep them up to date. Well, after being in labor all day, the doctor decided to go ahead and do a c-section because the baby's heart rate dropped. Come to find out, his cord was wrapped around his neck and had become knotted. So, my son-in-law posted all this on facebook (I figured, his baby, his choice, right?). Well, XH was very upset that middle daughter hadn't told him all that first and he had to read about it on facebook and he proceeded to yell at her and dress her down over the phone. She started crying and eventually just hung up on him rather than listening to his further verbal assault. She wasn't texting her dad because she didn't know any of that and she saw it on facebook for the first time just like all the rest of us did. How could she? She wasn't in the room with them while they were giving birth! He has some nerve, though. Then, after that little explanation, the girls' mom and I were chatting about something non-related to all that and the girls were having their own little conversation and I overheard them discussing the fact that their dad has been sick a lot lately and they all think that he has become addicted to pain pills. That was a big fear of his when we were married and he would intentionally NOT take pills after surgeries in hopes of avoiding even any appearance of addiction because his father was an addict. At several times over the course of the weekend, the girls brought up their dad and then apologized to me every time saying they weren't trying to make it awkward for me. They are very sad and upset that their once great relationship with their dad has deteriorated. They say that they rarely talk to him and when they do, it winds up in an argument of some sort and that he is very depressed. but they don't know what to say to him about it because they are afraid if they say anything it will just make it worse. Then, the suspected pain pill addiction on top of it doesn't help. Apparently they don't have a great relationship with his wife either because she covers for him and will text them and say he wants to talk to them, but isn't feeling up to it and will get with them later, so I don't know if that is coming from him through her or if that is all her. Knowing him, I can see him asking her to do that, but I don't know. I just let the girls talk because honestly, I just don't care. He's a person I don't even know anymore, but he used to think those girls hung the moon and would've done anything for them and now they have virtually no relationship. I blame him, though. He's the one who made a big show of moving off to Boston with her, saying he was putting himself first for once in his life and not taking care of everyone else. He also said at one point, he was only going to be up there for a few years, then would move back down here, before the grandkids were old enough to remember, but that hasn't happened. I wish I knew how to help them, but I just don't. I don't mind if they talk about him because, like I said, he's somebody I used to know, as the song goes, so it doesn't phase me, but I hurt for them knowing what they used to have with him and what it has become now. What I did gather from the overheard parts of their conversation, though, is that, like many of the WAS we hear about on this board who think the grass is so much greener on the other side of the fence, it is, in fact, not at all any greener. He had all sorts of reasons for wanting to divorce me that were related to making himself happy, but he went to be with the woman he cheated on me with and lo and behold, he still has the same money issues and medical issues and all of that that existed when I was in the picture. It is like he never even considered that his unhappiness could be somehow related to him and he wanted to blame it all on me and now that he is on the other side of the fence, he has the same unhappiness. I honestly don't wish ill on him, I just don't care about him as a person. That sounds harsh, but it is my reality. I honestly wouldn't even be sad if I heard he died. I would hate it for the girls and I would, of course, be there for them, and I would hate it for his mom and sister because they love him, but I would not be phased personally. That's just sad, but it is true. But, I guess that is what happens when you give your all to someone and nurse them through scary health situations only to be dropped because they just aren't happy. Such is life, I supposed.

That's honestly, probably, the most I have said about XH since I first came here in the fall of 2014 when he walked away. LOL Isn't life funny? Here we are 7 years later and I have a new husband, 2 new stepdaughters, and still have a great relationship with the 3 original stepdaugthers plus 7 preciously amazing grandkids to boot. His grass may not be greener on theother side of divorce and remarriage, but mine sure is and I'm feeling mighty blessed by that.


Me 51, H52
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
7 grandkids
Re: I'm gonna take that mountain... [Re: bttrfly] #2917956
04/19/21 01:37 PM
04/19/21 01:37 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,786
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Dawn70  Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,786
Originally Posted by bttrfly
I've been thinking about Sparky's new gig and even mentioned to someone that a friend's husband lost his job and now has one doing something completely different, but which is a passion of his, showing that something that seemingly is a tough break can actually be something that pushes one to a place more in line with one's true self. I do hope I'm right about this and look forward to reading about Sparky's new work adventures. I have a feeling he's going to be amazingly happy there.

And congrats to you on the new grandbaby boy!!! Such fun!!! May you all enjoy many hours of love and laughter! xoxoxo


I'll keep you posted. He just texted me that he is on his way (he starts at 9:00), and he's SO excited. The young couple were so kind last week when he was sick and told him to just take the week to get rested up and "try again" today, so he's grateful for their grace and just wanting to go in and do a good job. Fingers crossed that this will be the right place for him since he loves to cook and is passionate about food and flavors.


Me 51, H52
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
7 grandkids
Re: I'm gonna take that mountain... [Re: Dawn70] #2917959
04/19/21 02:57 PM
04/19/21 02:57 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 17,087
K
kml Online
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kml  Online
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 17,087
Dawn, I feel you on the ex. He takes up very little real estate in my head these days, and most of it is about how hes messed up his relationships with his kids. Hes just someone that I used to know.

Re: I'm gonna take that mountain... [Re: Dawn70] #2918301
04/28/21 05:59 PM
04/28/21 05:59 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,786
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Dawn70 Offline OP
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Dawn70  Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,786
Ever have one of those weeks where you cannot, for the life of you, get it together on what day it is? I was just convinced all day yesterday that it was Wednesday and now today, I can't shake the feeling that it is Thursday. Ugh..........makes for a long and confusing week.

I don't think I ever mentioned this here, but when Sparky was offered the job at the bakery, he was originally offered a 2 week provisional trial to see how he worked out. They told him that they do that with all new folks, to make sure they are a right fit for the team and that this Friday (Apr. 30) would be the day they would decide to either keep him on permanently or let him go on his merry way. I have known that all along, but like I said, don't think I mentioned it here. Anyway, the owners like him so well and are so pleased with how he's working out, that they offered him the full position Monday, a full week before his provisional status was up. I'm so thrilled for him. I had no doubt that they would offer him the job after working with him for 2 weeks because he is a very hard worker and he takes pride in what he does. The fact that they did it a week early was good, though and it gave him a real confidence boost. Today is croissant day at the bakery, so I'm hoping a few make it home with him this evening. wink

I haven't posted lately because I just don't have much to say. Life is continuing in the same vein as usual. Work for me, work for Sparky now and we have settled into our new routine with both of us working. Being out of work for over a month and unemployment STILL not being sorted out has wreaked havoc on our finances and it is worrying me how we will cover everything in the next month or so until we get things back in line with both of us working and brining in money again. It gives me a headache and keeps me up at night just thinking about it. I keep hoping that I'll just happen upon a big wad of cash on my way to work one day, but I know that isn't how life works. It will work out how it is supposed to. The main lesson in all of this is that Sparky losing his job when and how he did has actually turned into a much bigger blessing that I could've ever imagined. In the past week and a half, since he has started at the bakery, he has started becoming his old self again and is less depressed and stressed. He comes home excited at the end of the day and while he is tired from his job, he isn't physically and emotionally beaten down like he was before. This is a very positive change for him and for us as a couple. The money part is superfluous and will work out...at least that is what I keep telling myself.

We are rapidly approaching final exam week (next week) and graduation (next Friday), then I'm looking forward to my bi annual week off to recover from the "regular" school year. I'm looking forward to the down time and even some alone time since Sparky will be working that week. It is going to be a good thing.

It's all good in our hood, I suppose. smile


Me 51, H52
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
7 grandkids
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