I actually thought if LH saw this, he would say I’m in an open marriage, and that was a humiliating thought.
I hope you did not file because of what you thought I would think about it.
No, however highly I value your opinion, the choice was mine. The humiliating thought was that I was in an open marriage, and I was tired of being a patsy, of having no control over this situation, and of setting a bad example for my Ds on how people should behave. I didn’t do it to punish, or make a statement. A D is only a piece of paper, tell the government the status of my marriage. Well, the status was it’s over, stick a fork in done. I needed to remove her from my life, and move on.
Again, stbxw wants it done, and now it’s being ramrodded by my L, so it’s moving. It could be done in six weeks.
No, however highly I value your opinion, the choice was mine. The humiliating thought was that I was in an open marriage, and I was tired of being a patsy, of having no control over this situation, and of setting a bad example for my Ds on how people should behave.
I agree!
Originally Posted by NickWing
I didn’t do it to punish, or make a statement.
Good because that wouldn't have worked anyway.
Originally Posted by NickWing
A D is only a piece of paper, tell the government the status of my marriage.
I agree!
Originally Posted by NickWing
Well, the status was it’s over, stick a fork in done. I needed to remove her from my life, and move on.
I agree! Moving on doesn't mean revenge or punishment
Originally Posted by NickWing
Again, stbxw wants it done, and now it’s being ramrodded by my L, so it’s moving. It could be done in six weeks.
No, however highly I value your opinion, the choice was mine. The humiliating thought was that I was in an open marriage, and I was tired of being a patsy, of having no control over this situation, and of setting a bad example for my Ds on how people should behave.
I agree!
Originally Posted by NickWing
I didn’t do it to punish, or make a statement.
Good because that wouldn't have worked anyway.
Originally Posted by NickWing
A D is only a piece of paper, tell the government the status of my marriage.
I agree!
Originally Posted by NickWing
Well, the status was it’s over, stick a fork in done. I needed to remove her from my life, and move on.
I agree! Moving on doesn't mean revenge or punishment
Originally Posted by NickWing
Again, stbxw wants it done, and now it’s being ramrodded by my L, so it’s moving. It could be done in six weeks.
sorry you're going through all this. The sooner your perspective changes, the better this will get.
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And I may disagree with Steve, that if it wasn’t this Om it would have been another. This guy is a manipulator and has had a huge hold on her in the past, so it’s like she never got over him even though they were apart physically for years.
I get that he played a role, but what people are trying to say is that people who are looking to go outside of their marriage are going to find an outlet no matter what.
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I know from her journal she thinks OM is her soul mate, but I,think he is just using her as he has done in the past.
Use this to fuel your detachment.
I was like you, investigating hardcore and documenting things. It really was hurting me and did little to help. I would make a pros and cons list if you still aren't sure.
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The only control I exercised was in filing, and only after Stbxw went to South Beach with Om and left D at home by herself.
Things like this seem to indicate a heavy attachment. Unless your daughters have special needs and I missed you saying that, they are 17 and 21 and can manage by themselves I'm sure.
Hopefully your next posts will show some GAL activities. You're in FL (I think), enjoy the sunshine, catch a fish, drink a beer, get out and about.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
