Get in the gym. It's something you can do solo, or you can meet other guys there as well. Plus you have the added benefit of looking and feeling great. Time to fill out those tshirts buddy, just in time for summer.
I agree with Cwarrior that forcing yourself out of your comfort zone is wise during this.
Originally Posted by mako
I'm an introvert that doesn't require a lot of social interaction....I just wonder if that's a bad thing, if I need to force myself to be more social at this point, I'm going to need more of a network ....there's a chess club nearby..
Definitely a good 180 is to be extroverted. After you are comfortable as an extrovert, you can shift your behavior as you see fit. Be the one setting up events. Small talk with everyone. Startbucks became my social place.
Hopefully C19 is on the way out. Set up the chess board at a coffee shop. Someone will play. Kids might be eager to learn.
I am going to bring my chess board out with my recently (About a year ago) divorced friend. I will see if we can get him interacting with some ladies.
I played on lichess.com for awhile. Made some online friends.
Last edited by Ready2Change; 04/05/2106:30 PM.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Thanks for the advice everybody. You all are of course right that forcing myself out of my comfort zone is a good idea. That is the best way for us to grow after all. And as R2C says being comfortable in either zone is ideal. So maybe I just need some practice.
I am thinking about joining a gym as Thornton mentions. I have been working out for a little while but primarily at home. Bodyweight exercises go a long way and I've made a lot of progress, but I've been stalling, especially with legs. Maybe another good excuse to get out.
I'm also going to figure out if the chess clubs are playing online. I do play online a bit already but it's nice to do with people. Maybe I will bring a board to Starbucks or something.
Last edited by mako; 04/06/2101:51 AM.
Me: 43 W: 41 Together 2009, Married 2011 Sons 10 and 6, Daughter 5 Bomb 2/21/21. W moved out 10/2021
Yesterday W and I had our last mediation session for splitting up assets. The only big undecided issue was alimony and she was always a bit noncommittal and coy whenever we’d discuss these things, so I was afraid that was going to be a stalemate. But we had a quick back and forth in the 15 minutes before the session and agreed on one year of what’s IMO not very much, which I am more than satisfied with. So the financial part is essentially done, which is nice—this clears up a bunch of unknowns and now I can start better planning for the future. I know sometimes these things drag out, and I think the overall outcome was pretty fair.
Today I went and volunteered at the local food bank. This is not something I have done in my adult life, but I figured I need to start having a positive impact on the world. This also helped further my goal mentioned above of just putting myself out there around people I don’t know. It went fine, I got along with and talked to the people there, and I’ll go do it again some time.
Not much planned for the weekend. We need to start working on the house more. I’m with the kids tonight and going out tomorrow night, plans unknown at this time.
Me: 43 W: 41 Together 2009, Married 2011 Sons 10 and 6, Daughter 5 Bomb 2/21/21. W moved out 10/2021
Yesterday W and I had our last mediation session for splitting up assets. The only big undecided issue was alimony and she was always a bit noncommittal and coy whenever we’d discuss these things, so I was afraid that was going to be a stalemate. But we had a quick back and forth in the 15 minutes before the session and agreed on one year of what’s IMO not very much, which I am more than satisfied with. So the financial part is essentially done, which is nice—this clears up a bunch of unknowns and now I can start better planning for the future. I know sometimes these things drag out, and I think the overall outcome was pretty fair.
Today I went and volunteered at the local food bank. This is not something I have done in my adult life, but I figured I need to start having a positive impact on the world. This also helped further my goal mentioned above of just putting myself out there around people I don’t know. It went fine, I got along with and talked to the people there, and I’ll go do it again some time.
Not much planned for the weekend. We need to start working on the house more. I’m with the kids tonight and going out tomorrow night, plans unknown at this time.
Great update, mako! Well done.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
“People who like, value and appreciate you make it easy to spend time with them. People who take you for granted, don’t appreciate you and who have low interest make it difficult and often impossible to get together. Only make a continued effort to see people who make it easy, effortless and fun to be together. Spend time with people who are good to you, good for you and good for your soul. Give the poseurs, users, losers, takers and fakers the gift of missing you, permanently.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
Thanks for the quote. It is useful as I need to remind myself that I need to do my best to make myself high value, and need to be with someone who treats me as such.
The weekend went fine, but now W thinks she may have covid. She has some flu like symptoms but the kicker is she lost her sense of smell and taste. She got tested today so we'll see in 3 days. Me and the kids are ok and she is quarantining from us. A nice twist to the IHS.
Me: 43 W: 41 Together 2009, Married 2011 Sons 10 and 6, Daughter 5 Bomb 2/21/21. W moved out 10/2021
Know several families that had family members get covid. By in home quarantining and wearing masks they were able to contain it to 1 or 2 family members, with the rest not getting it (testing confirmed). So it can be done.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
