Here’s is my previous thread, just in case you wanted to see it.
Is being two years (since I know) that my marriage sailed away, I’m sure that all this journey help me to dare asking myself if I’m worth it, I’m, with that in mind I share my path until tonight.
I was in love with a wonderful man, the past sentence took a while to admit. He left and literally never looked back at the demolition his actions caused. He lost himself in a sub reality, his non stop longing for his youth keep him trying happiness on places rather than on him. His first o/w didn’t work out as he planned, lost his career reputation on his own hand, still no acknowledgement of the facts.
Today he called me to tell me that he is moving to Argentina for good, his country is calling him, he said, I wished him the best, I truly believe that it won’t worked out but I’m tired of having him lingering around. After 28 years together I was surprised how time heals all the wounds, I don’t wish him ill just far away Argentina sound like a good start.
No more awkward gatherings with my kids splitting due to his presence, no more being the adult on the room to a petulant mid aged man acting like a teenager.
Midlife crisis could be real, the scars would run deep, the lessons are opportunities if we decided to make it one. At 51 I’m betting in a better tomorrow. I won’t allow his actions to mark my being. My kids have my broad shoulders to lean on, my north would be always stepping tall not stepping on someone.
Thank you for this forum, it really help me to share and learn so much on this chapter that I’m about to close. Love is never wrong if we started from self. Lucy.
Last edited by job; 02/23/2102:31 PM. Reason: added space between paragraphs
Thank you for returning and providing an update. You sound very strong and self confident.
I am sorry that he's still running from adulthood and is still searching for the inner "self". It may take years for him to recover and then again he may never recover. Cherish the time you had with him because he gave you the best of himself, especially when you share children w/him.
Yes, MLC is very real and the scars can cut deep....however, we may not see it in the beginning, but we, the LBS, learn to grow and face life head on. We rediscover the person that we once were and by golly, we can stand tall and face each day as it comes.
Lucy, I wish you all of the best. I have no doubt that you and your children will continue to grow and face the world head on.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hello Job. There’s beauty even on this tearing path, like you said the LBW dares to remember who she was before the relationship, we can have if we choose the most amazing opportunity: Asking ourselves what WE really want rather than need.
For me was exhilarating discover my “wants “ rather than what I knew as my “needs “. I learned that I don’t have all the answers, that I don’t need to be infallible, that it’s ok to give back responsibilities that I took out fear/comfort I learn to say NO, I DON’T WANT TO.
I choose to rebuild myself for my benefit, I need this time to united who I was, who I’m to whom I choose to be. So far so good, I’m a quality time person, love to watch sunsets writing analogies of my journey.
My next hands on project is my backyard, planting my garden at this point is my graphic promise of a wonderful tomorrow. Warm hugs.
Hello Dejavu6. I’m not divorced yet, he has a problem with the big D depending of the day, sometimes he says “start the process “ others “what is the rush “ bottom line the fact is that his roller coaster does not bother me anymore.
I need two more years of filing my taxes alone in order to absorb the mortgage of my home just on my name, I’m getting the house, he would get all the retirement plans.
