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A Message from Michele
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Re: I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 28 [Re: KitCat] #2915644
02/25/21 09:00 PM
02/25/21 09:00 PM
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SteveLW Offline
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Originally Posted by KitCat
I am a total jerk.

I have knowingly been completely disrespectful.

I have terrible impulse control sometimes (other times its a complete non-issue... I realized that I let others influence my bad choices because they would agree or allow my bad choices... and that too is on me 100%.)

I don't really like myself at this moment.


No one is perfect. You should see me behind the wheel! I turn into AJ Foyt in the Indy 500.

I am sure it isn't as bad as you think. But even if it is, starting right now you can resolved to do better.


M(51), W(52),D(17)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Re: I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 28 [Re: SteveLW] #2915657
02/25/21 10:28 PM
02/25/21 10:28 PM
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KitCat Offline OP
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KitCat  Offline OP
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Originally Posted by SteveLW
Originally Posted by KitCat
I am a total jerk.

I have knowingly been completely disrespectful.

I have terrible impulse control sometimes (other times its a complete non-issue... I realized that I let others influence my bad choices because they would agree or allow my bad choices... and that too is on me 100%.)

I don't really like myself at this moment.


No one is perfect. You should see me behind the wheel! I turn into AJ Foyt in the Indy 500.

I am sure it isn't as bad as you think. But even if it is, starting right now you can resolved to do better.


Thanks....

No it wasn't bad in of and itself but its just one more incident that I've not been respectful. AND, that gets old and just pushes people further away. Ultimately I'm just disrespecting myself.

This is gonna be a rough night.

Re: I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 28 [Re: CWarrior] #2915659
02/25/21 10:37 PM
02/25/21 10:37 PM
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KitCat Offline OP
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KitCat  Offline OP
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Originally Posted by CWarrior
Hi KitCat,

Aww, facing mistakes is hard, but I have a hard time imagining you were intentionally a "total jerk" as opposed to doing what felt good in the moment without considering the long-term impact. What's going on?


I have not been respecting someone's personal space.

I was trying to be cute and funny and light hearted... I realize that I was just seeking attention and to be liked and accepted. I was not accepting that no response was a response.

I've been a jerk.

There is no apology because that would just be invading space again... the only apology is not doing what I've been doing. I realize that I have been nothing but disrespectful... and that makes me sad because that was NEVER my intent. I have to live with my actions. I accept responsibility for my choices.

I've most definitely been a jerk.

Re: I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 28 [Re: KitCat] #2915668
02/26/21 01:05 AM
02/26/21 01:05 AM
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SteveLW Offline
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So, Pilot again?


M(51), W(52),D(17)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Re: I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 28 [Re: SteveLW] #2915694
02/26/21 03:19 PM
02/26/21 03:19 PM
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KitCat Offline OP
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KitCat  Offline OP
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Originally Posted by SteveLW
So, Pilot again?


It doesn't really matter does it?

Bottom line I was a jerk. And, no I was not rude or mean or said anything unbecoming. But, even if you are nice and have the best intentions you can still be disrespecting someone's space. I accept that I acted in a manor unbecoming of who I am.

Re: I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 28 [Re: KitCat] #2915699
02/26/21 04:03 PM
02/26/21 04:03 PM
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SteveLW Offline
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It one way it doesn't matter, in that you're right, forcing yourself on anyone is suboptimal.

But the anxious attachment disorder/obsession with one person DOES matter. And you know why so I won't say it.

Hang in there KC, you are a good person, you just need some help to get you past your demons.


M(51), W(52),D(17)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Re: I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 28 [Re: KitCat] #2915709
02/26/21 06:04 PM
02/26/21 06:04 PM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,886
Midwest
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DonH Offline
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Posts: 1,886
Midwest
Originally Posted by KitCat
Originally Posted by SteveLW
So, Pilot again?


It doesn't really matter does it? .

So that’s probably a “Yes”. And it totally does matter in the bigger picture - that being your very unhealthy obsession with this man and unwillingness to take meaningful steps to correct it. You acknowledge it but refuse to take meaningful steps to try to fix it. Acknowledging and “trying” without a credible plan will often provide the same results as not trying at all. That’s why it matters. That’s what you need to work on. “Disrespecting someone’s space” is a symptom of a bigger problem. It matters.


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Re: I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 28 [Re: KitCat] #2915748
02/27/21 01:52 PM
02/27/21 01:52 PM
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KitCat Offline OP
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KitCat  Offline OP
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The bigger problem is that I have been disrespecting myself....

I'm not behaving in a manner that is attractive, and that breaks my own heart.

Re: I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 28 [Re: KitCat] #2915752
02/27/21 02:39 PM
02/27/21 02:39 PM
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LH19 Offline
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Well the beauty is that is the one person you can control.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
Re: I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 28 [Re: LH19] #2915767
02/27/21 10:28 PM
02/27/21 10:28 PM
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KitCat Offline OP
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KitCat  Offline OP
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Originally Posted by LH19
Well the beauty is that is the one person you can control.


Truth!

And, I'm working on that.

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