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Nick,

I want to piggyback off what Mr B said in his post above. You read who your W was in her journal many years ago. That’s the person she has always been and probably masked it for awhile. I believe you wrote you never had the passwords for her devices. That’s not normal. Not saying your W cheated but she’s probably been up to no good your entire marriage. I know is doesn’t feel like it now but be thankful she waited until your kids were older.

You don’t need her to coparent you don’t need her for anything. Eliminate her from your life completely. If and it’s a big if that she is ever willing to do the extremely hard work and face her demons and earn another chance with you then you can cross that bridge when you come to it.

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LH, BrSide,

I guess we could go round and round trying to determine if she’s a mostly good person with issues who slipped, or she’s a pos who put on an act for 27 years. I think it was the former, but at this point she’s on the dark side and not coming back soon.

I had access to her phone, but not her email. One of the few things she said in the last year which I believe is that she has a m,ale confidant whose name never came up because she knew that contact was inappropriate That is proven by her journal. I guess she could keep in touch by email. There were other little dishonesties over the years but I kind of shrugged them off. We agreed to find out our babies gender at birth, I found out later she knew and pretended to be surprised at their birth.

Do I think things were amazing all the time. No. But The good times far out weighed the less than perfect times. She was a person I respected the most, she got an Ivy League masters degree despite very humble beginnings. We rased 2 kids together.


Oh, stbxw just texts me that she will not be home Friday and Saturday night. I idont know why she just didn’t move out when I asked her to.Hope this increased infatuation bodes well for the negotiations.

Last edited by NickWing; 02/25/21 02:28 PM.

Me 57/W 53, M 23, T 27

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Originally Posted by NickWing
I guess we could go round and round trying to determine if she’s a mostly good person with issues who slipped, or she’s a pos who put on an act for 27 years. I think it was the former, but at this point she’s on the dark side and not coming back soon.

Probably somewhere in between.
Originally Posted by NickWing
I had access to her phone, but not her email. One of the few things she said in the last year which I believe is that she has a male confidant whose name never came up because she knew that contact was inappropriate That is proven by her journal. I guess she could keep in touch by email. There were other little dishonesties over the years but I kind of shrugged them off. We agreed to find out our babies gender at birth, I found out later she knew and pretended to be surprised at their birth.

Yep it starts out with the white lies then like a drug addict it morphs into the hard stuff.
Originally Posted by NickWing
Do I think things were amazing all the time. No. But The good times far out weighed the less than perfect times. She was a person I respected the most, she got an Ivy League masters degree despite very humble beginnings. We rased 2 kids together.

I get it Nick just don't be surprised that as time goes by you start to remember things differently.
Originally Posted by NickWing
Oh, stbxw just texts me that she will not be home Friday and Saturday night. This idont know why she just didn’t move out when I asked her to.Hope this increased infatuation bodes well for the negotiations.

She probably has no where to go. Yep use any guilt to your advantage.

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Thx for the support. Headed to the L in about an hour.L’s nickname is the shark. First consultation L called stbxw a wh**e . Hope that translates into a good settlement for me.


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Spit my coffee!

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Oh, stbxw just texts me that she will not be home Friday and Saturday night. I idont know why she just didn’t move out when I asked her to.Hope this increased infatuation bodes well for the negotiations.


Make plans and get out of the house before she gets there.

Sorry to read about all the lies you are finding out about.


H 34
W 29
BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
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OK, just got back from the L and actually feel pretty good. I described sitch and L said highly liekly will keep pension and get a favorable distribution of assets. L a female, has been precticing D law for 30 years and knows the judges. STBXW L is a newbie, my L has never even heard of him, he does uncontested Ds for people with no assets. If STBXW wants D and will sign, can be done in 30 days. If they dont agree, then we can drag this out for 18 months or more.

L also said that although she files in 90% of her cases, she urged me not to file because in the future I can rest easy knowing I did nothing to facilitate the D. Also I have no doubt stbxw is going to file

And LH, I not only called stbxw a wh**e, I called her a cheating wh**e, and a piece of garbage in December. Her response was that that kind of langage was bad because there were kids in the house.


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Nick,

I don’t condone that at all. I just thought it was funny that your Lawyer said it. Even funnier now that I know she’s a woman.

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Originally Posted by NickWing
Oh, stbxw just texts me that she will not be home Friday and Saturday night. This idont know why she just didn’t move out when I asked her to.Hope this increased infatuation bodes well for the negotiations.



She probably has no where to go. Yep use any guilt to your advantage.[/quote]

Yeah LH I think you are right because I think OM is married.

I think hotel rooms 2 to 4 times a week are getting expensive.STBXW just changed the password on her marmot points account. I am guessing so she can use some of her free nights.

I guess the danger Im facing is how much power I have because she is getting bolder and bolder. I dont want to overplay my hand and my hole card is she wants to be divored before everyone knos. There might come a point where she doesnt care if she's legit or not.


Me 57/W 53, M 23, T 27

D21/D17

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Nick,

I love your detached state.

Don't forget about your girls! (not that you have)


H 34
W 29
BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
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