Leaving it behind.

[97Hope]

Yeah....we started early and so did 2 of our kids. Have another grand due this summer!

How is your 12 doing?

Oh! Chicago! My very first boyfriend and I used to sing Chicago in his car. Memories! I'm a terrible singer but he never minded. sigh

Yes, Peterson is WAY intense. I love it! Bought his book 12 Rules but my 19y/o is reading it first. I didn't have the mental bandwidth to keep up right now.

[Joe2017]

Hey Hope, I guess you're going into LE soon. I was LE for a while in TN.

Forget the academy BS. Listen to your FTOs. The only things worth anything from the academy are law, medical, DT, survival, and the range. Everything else is garbage.

Always stop at intersections when code. Always wear your seatbelt.

Make time to see a IC at least once a month if you can.

Never date anyone on the job, even at another station.

Once you are out on your own, use passenger side approach every time you can.

Watch their hands. Learn pre-flight and pre-fight indicators.

If your agency does not supply a TQ, buy your own.

Everyone lies, it's not personal.

Trust your gut, it's always right.

Go home every day.

[Mumin]

Crossfit is really a game changer! As LH said, be patient.
Start slow (a few weeks) and learn your weak spots. Especially with OL.
Then just go all in on everything your coach puts in front of you!

[LH19]

Yeah....we started early and so did 2 of our kids. Have another grand due this summer!

How is your 12 doing?

Oh! Chicago! My very first boyfriend and I used to sing Chicago in his car. Memories! I'm a terrible singer but he never minded. sigh

Yes, Peterson is WAY intense. I love it! Bought his book 12 Rules but my 19y/o is reading it first. I didn't have the mental bandwidth to keep up right now.

She’s doing great! She’s struggling with COVID because she’s a social butterfly. She’s like my best friend in that we can talk about anything from politics to religion etc. she’s struggles with her mom right now but I have been told that’s normal for her age. My children have transitioned very well. Divorce definitely does not destroy the children like I have read. They follow the parents lead.

[97Hope]

Hi Joe - Yes, going into LE. Couldn't pay the bills as a housewife/ranch hand! lol Thank you for the tips! All excellent advice. Re: passenger side contact - I'm def. concerned about getting hit by a car. Probably all the videos they showed during traffic. Yikes! People really don't pay attention to where they drive.

RE: dating - nope. There is a thing my uncle used to say - I've not been able to find it but it's like "Don't ride your mule, don't work your horse" ?? I wish I could find the original. My dad always said "non sputare nel piatto dove mangi" lol AKA don't get honey where you make the money. Wise words!

Mumin - Thanks! I'm glad I start this week so if they wreck me I have a few days to recover. I'm looking forward to getting stronger. I think will help with my mood, too. That's the hope.

LH - - it's amazing how much they notice even when we don't think they do. I've found a more authentic relationship with them all now that I'm not trying to 'protect' their dad. And I have a lot of free time since I stepped out of the role as XH's Image Management Consultant. I don't trash him, of course, but I don't say a word when they get into it.

I learned late that I had no business interfering in their relationships anyway. I always thought that we built each other up in a M and that I was being loving and supportive when I was on my X's 'team'. Part of my more painful growth periods. Realized I was garbage at validation to my kids.

Consequences. My adult kids are having a lot of struggles with X. No, D doesn't destroy them - but it has a profound impact on the the R between kids and parents. It's been my observation that it strengthens with the LBS & deteriorates with the WAS in a lot of situations.

[Mar252]

Hope,

Crossfit sounds challenging. I definitely plan to restart my workout routine once I return home. About a year prior to our S, I started working out with my W, as it is something she is totally into, as a way to spend QT with her. I really got into it and lost 30lbs. I've managed to keep the weight off but haven't worked out since the beginning of Covid.

[97Hope]

Mar,

It will be a challenge for sure! My friend has been on me to try it but I was in the academy and had nothing left at the end of the day. lol Don't tell anyone, but I think CrossFit might be a little culty ; )

Great job on the 30#!! I highly recommend exercise during this and really as something we all incorporate into our GAL. It's nice to feel strong physically and def. helps with the emos coming at us.

I just commented on your thread. I'm hoping more vets will show up, as well.

How nice would it be if we could all be closer and work out together or have a book club or something. I'm wondering if there are any meet ups for DBers.

[CanBird]

Hi 97Hope! Thought I'd pop over and say hi. Just got caught up on your thread and I'll be thinking about you on the 25th! How empowering! (For the record, I'm 49-50 near year end. D4 will be 5 in a few months. Love that we'll both be turning 5 the same year..lol..)

I really relate to a lot of what you're feeling, especial when it comes to missing human touch, and not so much the emotional stuff. But hey, sounds like when the time is right you'll have no problem attracting humans..lol..

"Don't dip your pen in company ink". Another saying regarding dating at work..lol..

Have a good one

[LH19]

Another one:

Don’t $hit where you eat lol

[97Hope]

HA!!! "non sputare nel piatto dove mangi" is Italian for that, LH! I just hate it in English

CanB - The problem is I've been attracting too young and too old - the age-appropriate men that have shown interest were X's 'friends' or total dirtbags. (wanna see a pic of my giant member? ) Truly. A guy I know asked me that. Um. No. Go away. Gah. That was awkward. I did laugh at one of them when he asked me out I said, No. You and X are friends and he said "We aren't that close"
-------------------------------------



There is a guy that lives about an hour away that my friends were telling me about. At the time I wasn't interested in dating yet. My friends say that he is a "good" man.

Spoke with IC about this at last appointment and he said I was def. ready to start dating. Woo hoo!!

Told my friends and they are going to have us both over for a cookout or something. I like that idea and have actually felt pretty good about it. I like that my trusted friends (she and husband have been my rock through this, even went to d court with me) know him well. She is like my 'twisted sister' and her husband has helped me off of more than a few ledges emotionally. Love them dearly - trust them without question. Feels like the perfect set up for where I am.

He worked with friend - they are both jet pilots. That's probably my only concern. A part of me is scared. I know it's from being married to someone who started out as a warehouse clerk and became a very successful, high-profile career guy - there are certain careers that really draw attention and that makes me uneasy. My own stuff to work through. Obs my friend is also a pilot and not at all flirty, unfaithful, etc...

I know, realistically, it was my X that was the cheater - and a job doesn't make you one. But I'm processing this as it comes.

I will meet him and see. I like that I'm just going to meet him and not a date.

Good news is (and discussed with my IC). I'm not the girl I was. I understand red flags. I don't "need" a boyfriend so there is no fear of holding on to an unsafe person for any reason.

It's just another example of how adultery just really fks with the head and heart.

And finally - since he is a pilot, he doesn't have a fk**** beard! X had one since 1995 and I just can't with them. That's probably silly but whatever. I'll own it and I'm not willing to work through that one. LOL

------------------------------------


Anyway....my GAL was cancelled today. Was supposed to hang out with 2 of my grands, but the little was exposed to a friend whose dad has a confirmed case. I think we all had it back in Dec 2010 - the entire school district closed down - 200 kids in one day called in. They closed the school for 2 weeks and haven't had a case since this started.

I'm going to clean my patio furniture. I made a very nice place to sit out there and I've noticed spider webs and gunk - I've been putting it off but it's time I spend more time out there then in here.

I have the most lovely view of the pool here at my complex. It's very much like living in a nice resort. Not fancy - just very pretty and nice.

It felt like God's provision for me as when I started looking at places to live in 2019 all they had were parking lot views and I REALLY didn't want that!! I literally prayed that God would not give me a parking lot view.

My X pulled some things and I had to move Oct 2020 - and wouldn't you know it - this opened up! Even the apt manager was surprised at the timing.

When I'm walking around here with the blinds open I see a beautiful courtyard and the stunning blue water and it's so healing.

Also going to run today. I usually run every other, but I'm not convinced they won't kill me tomorrow. LOL

Hope everyone is having an amazing Sunday!! Find the joy in today!! For me, it's an extra slice of bacon.