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Originally Posted by LH19

“A true alpha’s state of mind is one of indifference, charm, humor, humility, courage and a belief that eventually, things will work out in their favor. Alphas set, keep and hold other people accountable to their boundaries. They stand up for what they believe in and don’t compromise their principles or values for anyone. They have an emotionally compelling vision of what kind of life and lifestyle they want to create and then resolve to pay the price, no matter how long it takes to make it a reality.”


Wise and empowering words LH... i'd probably throw "confidence" into the top line lol...

But a great read..


Previous username - Helpme123.. A name chosen at a desperate time..

Now Mr Brightside.. coming out of my cage, and doing just fine.
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Well I think my stand is over. I’ve done a lot of thinking. I can’t continue to live like this. I’m gonna be talking to WW tomorrow to set up a time to meet at the courthouse so we can file.

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Indy,

I just wanted to say that regardless of what happens to your marriage, you are a good dude. You deserve so much better than the hand your W has dealt you.

I foresee a bright future ahead of you and I think you will meet a woman who cherishes you as much as you cherish her.

Keep on keepin' on...

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Originally Posted by Indy470
Well I think my stand is over. I’ve done a lot of thinking. I can’t continue to live like this. I’m gonna be talking to WW tomorrow to set up a time to meet at the courthouse so we can file.



Why do you need to talk to her or have her go with you. Hire a lawyer and file.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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Indy,

I second what Thornton said and would also like to warn you that she is going to try to manipulate to hold off. Make sure you are strong with your position with no wavering.

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Indy,

I'm like Steve85, no need to talk. Take action. Be a man of deeds over words.

Good luck man.


H 34
W 29
BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
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Indy470 Offline OP
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I would. The type of divorce were filing both parties have to be present at the courthouse.

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Indy,

I know this is not the outcome you wanted but IMO it's the right move. You have to be true to your values. People who have physical affairs rarely change and typically only change when they hit rock bottom. The early years of marriage are suppose to be great times as your build your life together. If she is stepping out now she either feels she made the wrong choice or she has deep rooted issues.

Learn from this experience and move forward. You absolutely have a great life ahead of you.

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Yeah LH as usual is on point.

My W had her first one night stand 10 months into our marriage, more followed now she filed D 10 years later and left me for OM. And now we got 2 kids. Corey Wayne says something that is very true that I should have thought about a lot more but it is "What you allow will continue", he also says "If you continue to do what you always do, you will get what you always got." It took me 10 years to stop continuing what I always do and even now its a struggle to respect myself for once. Don't be like me man.


T:11
M:10
K: D5, S7
BD: 9/1/20
WW continues to break up and recon with OM.
I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021
Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21.
Glad my D was not busted.
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Indy470,
Originally Posted by Indy470
Well I think my stand is over. I’ve done a lot of thinking. I can’t continue to live like this. I’m gonna be talking to WW tomorrow to set up a time to meet at the courthouse so we can file.

Originally Posted by Thornton
Indy,

I just wanted to say that regardless of what happens to your marriage, you are a good dude. You deserve so much better than the hand your W has dealt you.

I foresee a bright future ahead of you and I think you will meet a woman who cherishes you as much as you cherish her.

Keep on keepin' on...

Originally Posted by LH19
Indy,

I know this is not the outcome you wanted but IMO it's the right move. You have to be true to your values. People who have physical affairs rarely change and typically only change when they hit rock bottom. The early years of marriage are suppose to be great times as your build your life together. If she is stepping out now she either feels she made the wrong choice or she has deep rooted issues.

Learn from this experience and move forward. You absolutely have a great life ahead of you.

^All this, plus...

I wouldn't for a second take away my kids, but children certainly complicate the post-BD relationship. You're fortunate in a way to not have that on-going attachment and need to collaborate for decades to come. Keep working on yourself and you'll find happiness without her.


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
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