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https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2904677&page=11

Have a terrible headache today...

H has texted twice now. Once yesterday morning and then this morning about when could I take a look at the puppy. I totally respect every one's opinion about how I should not be seeing the puppy, BUT I still feel that he is my dog too. I raised for the first 7 months and he just turned a year old.

Anyway... yesterday I just texted back a day and a time. Very business like but got NO response. I was like "whatever"... not my circus not my monkeys.

So when he texted again today asking could I do a Saturday because he works over every day... I texted back the dates of my next 2 Saturdays. AGAIN - no response. WHATEVER DUDE. You contact me asking me for help and then you ignore me.

I'm really not mad.

I really don't care.

I'm like 'eh.....

If he texts me again my only response will be my business phone number and he can discuss with receptionist. Its totally dumb to ask for my help and then ignore me. I've got more important things to do... like get rid of this headache.

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I love that idea--sending him to your receptionist.

I hope your head feels better!

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Its like touching hot stove...over and over and over again...........


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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I'm not sure how you can just "not care" about that. This is EXTREMELY disrespectful behavior, and you're just going to sit there and let him continue to disrespect you and say you don't care? Please have a little more respect for yourself and quit putting up with this never-ending crap from your H. Next time he pings you tell him you've given him dates and times the last two times he asked and he didn't dignify it with a response, so he needs to find his own vet.

Get off the roller coaster.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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Originally Posted by Steve85
Its like touching hot stove...over and over and over again...........



Maybe???

Except that I just really don't care at the moment.

Seriously I thought he was blowing smoke up my arse when he stated he was going to call and make an appointment for the puppy. There is such a long list of things he has stated he would do and didn't.

I'm just not invested either way at the moment... he will do whatever he will do.

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Trying to stay busy....

Participated in an online cooking class this week. Had a really nice lunch with MIL yesterday. While she freely brought up other relatives/family she only slipped briefly in mentioned H's name but I just ignored and she quickly went on to other topics. It was really a fun lunch. I then treated myself at a my favorite hole in the wall store in a tiny town for some homemade soap and bath bombs.

It had been a week of NC and then suddenly the text came across from H asking about atty. It was a business questions so I answered with "no".... he went on to text 3 more times over a couple of hours. I did not respond to any of those texts until it was a question again which I replied a simple answer too... he responded to that but I dropped the convo and moved on with my day - that was Tuesday.

I've met some new people and it keeps my life a little more interesting and busy which helps.

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Hi KitCat,

Great responses to your MIL and ex! That's certainly progress. Does that imply dating is going well? wink

Glad to hear that life is treating you nicely. Karma!

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Good job on the brief responses, keep it up. He may ramp up the temp checking so be ready for that. If he does he's just checking to make sure you are still plan B. So continue with your brief responses or non-responses to show him you're no one's plan B!


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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Originally Posted by AnotherStander
Good job on the brief responses, keep it up. He may ramp up the temp checking so be ready for that. If he does he's just checking to make sure you are still plan B. So continue with your brief responses or non-responses to show him you're no one's plan B!


THANKS... Sadly I just read this a few minutes ago.

Let me just say I was SOOOOO not ready for the load of bricks he dropped off with me this morning. I mean its been months. Months of me working on myself. Months of me thinking... ugh if he would only open up and talk to me... And, then he does.... and I realize I'm so under prepared.

H: You're not happy

H: It wasn't just you. My failure was I was trying to be something I was not. I was trying to fit in an element that was not me. I sold you on someone I wasn't and I failed you at that.

H: I was angry all the time and I lashed out at everyone including my own kids. I won't be in that position again. I failed myself more than anyone else failed me. And I now see things differently, I know what it was doing to me and I won't let it happen again.

H: I have also learned something else... I enjoy playing... really enjoy it... acting like a child/goofy/fun. But you couldn't play. [???? this was the hardest to follow as we used to be very goofy and had fun but I will admit in the later years I was just so focused on parenting and work and got so incredibly stuck in my head... I didn't even go to my own family's Christmas Eve party last year. My H went alone. I really withdrew from my H and from everyone. So I'm sure I sucked the life out of things then stuck in my own quagmire leaving my H to feel neglected and confused. I own that... I own that for sure.]

H: I am at peace. I have refocused my priorities. Do you want me to look back? What do we have to offer each other?

It soooo incredibly much to take it. As much as my mind is digesting all this I am quite peaceful. I'm not agitated but more perplexed. I still have plans this weekend and will continue to move about as I have been doing.

I would be lying though if I didn't say I was mulling over the "what do we have to offer each other".

I know I know I know.... everyone here will tell me to ignore. It means absolutely nothing.

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I read it twice and have no fuching clue what he’s talking about.

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