Yeah - and that a sizable percentage of people survive but have chronic symptoms after, like the patient I saw today who had it in March and is still running low grades fevers and having weird nerve pain. And she’s really mild. The 35 year old woman who is still incapacitated with cognitive dysfunction and severe fatigue after 8 months can’t even begin to think of returning to work - they had to move in with her parents so they could help with her kids.
It’s not simple die or you’re fine. We are going to be seeing the long term effects of this virus in millions of people. But if everyone would wear their masks and take appropriate precautions we wouldn’t be shut down like this.Turn off the anti-science channels Don.
So - if the husband's parents gave $5,000 to the couple to help them buy a house, and later the wife inherited a million dollars, the husband would be entitled to half a million? That doesn't sound right to me! I could see him being entitled to getting the $5,000 back though.
Certainly in a community property state like California, an inheritance is not considered community property IF it is always kept separate. But if you deposit it into a joint account or use it to buy property with both names on the deed you lose that separation.
no.
I know of a situation where the parents gave $50k towards a down payment. they also created accounts for each grandchild for college and helped out financially. the husband brought them to court and it cost them well into 5 figures in legal fees to save their daughter's inheritance and grandkid's accounts from this greedy fillintheblank. the precedent here legally is some trust fund guy with a drinking problem and his wife were so materially enabled by his parents that her lawyer successfully sued to have the wife get half the husband's inheritance in the divorce, thus opening the floodgates for others to try to do the same, with an astonishing degree of success.
My exh's lawyer tried the same tactic, because I'm an only child. When I calmly asked my exh what he wanted my parents to do (sell the land I've now built my home on and give him 1/2 the $$ was his answer) and then what, do they hire a realtor to get a market value on their home and take a mortgage out for 1/2 ... he said yes yes yes then realized how ridiculous that sounded. Especially when I said, well, we can do the same with your mother's assets as well, and yes, if he tried to put my parents through that, I would have absolutely gone to the mat. fun times. glad I'm single.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
I think Don has some good points about the allergy issue. Let me say this first, so I'm not misconstrued. I am NOT saying that S doesn't have allergy issues. I don't know her, so she may very well have anaphylaxis or a very severe allergy issue. I do not know as I am not there, not part of her life, nor do I even know her. However, I agree with Don that it is certainly within the realm of possibilities that S has exaggerated an issue in order to assert dominance in controlling yet another aspect of Andrew's life. I have actually wondered this for some time (if it is being "amped up") and have meant to ask about the epi-pen when her level of allergy was mentioned before. If she is so severely allergic that the smell of alcohol gives her a strong adverse reaction (which is absolutely possible and Andrew is absolutely doing the right thing in taking it seriously), it would stand to reason that she would need to be VERY careful about where she goes and who she is around and that she would need to have an epi-pen close at hand in case of an emergency.
The other thing that makes it seem that exaggeration is at least within the realm of possibilities with some of her issues is Andrew's mention, on more than one occasion, of the pre-packaged and pre-made foods that S seems to have a penchant for purchasing. It would seem to me that, if one has allergy issues (particularly to gluten) and then has ADD issues on top of that, then there would be more caution about overall nutrition. I'm not saying S is necessarily doing anything bad, since MANY rely on pre-packaged meals and snacks, but I would just think someone who had a variety of issues and who had children with a variety of issues would be a little more cognizant of what they were ingesting and would be more prone to cooking their own meals so as to control exactly what ingredients are used. (Says the fat girl eating a blueberry muffin while she types this, but hey, it is homemade, so at least I know exactly what is in it...……………)
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Dawn my love this is what jumped out at me in your post:
Originally Posted by Dawn70
It would seem to me that, if one has allergy issues (particularly to gluten) and then has ADD issues on top of that, then there would be more caution about overall nutrition. I'm not saying S is necessarily doing anything bad, since MANY rely on pre-packaged meals and snacks, but I would just think someone who had a variety of issues and who had children with a variety of issues would be a little more cognizant of what they were ingesting and would be more prone to cooking their own meals so as to control exactly what ingredients are used.
Yes. I agree. However, that requires a few things which she demonstrably lacks: * personal responsibility/accountability * the ability to actually parent in a way that is largely recognizable by the majority * the ability to get off her @$$ to do the hard work to prepare meals from scratch and read the numerous books she may have on the subject
Look - I know plenty of folks who fall on the spectrum of food sensitivities, from mild to full-blown celiac. The people I know who take it seriously - and by that I mean take ownership of their personal wellbeing - are doing just that, making food from scratch or minimally being very careful about the pre-packaged goods they ingest. One of my dearest friends is full-blown celiac. She is so mindful of her diet and makes everything from scratch. When she does veer off, she does so knowing she will pay the price and has learned what she needs to do to manage the ensuing stomach/digestive issues. My own dear friend K just had a heart health event which scared him so much that he's taken his vegetarianism to a new level, learning all he can about heart healthy diets, cutting all salt and only preparing foods himself, rather than buying pre-packaged convenience/comfort foods, which is what he'd fallen into the habit of eating.
What bugs me is the insistence that someone else modify their behavior in yet another way to accommodate her needs, and absolutely how can one not be accommodating when it's presented as a serious allergy? I have no idea if that is real, imagined, or misinterpreted on her end, but yes, I question if there's an epipen present. She doesn't work. What the h3ll else does she have to do with her copious free time, if not educate herself on her and her children's nutritional needs and then actually take ownership of those needs by cooking food for herself and her brood, from scratch. Most people fall into the convenience pre-packaged trap because they work 40 hours a week plus have a commute to and from that eats up their time. She does not have that legitimate excuse.
I also question how she being so sensitive could wash dishes in an establishment that serves both gf and gluten items. She's definitely coming into contact with gluten. I file it under "things that make you go hmmmm" and have largely concluded that S is someone who has an outsized sense of entitlement that manifests in a variety of ways. Perhaps that's unfair since I've never met her, but there you have it. That's my conclusion based upon what we've been told and how she's behaved.
I'm sorry if that is harsh, but that's my honest opinion.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Wow butterfly, that’s crazy in your state - and the gall of your ex! I can’t imagine feeling entitled to a future inheritance from one’s ex-in-laws! I guess that clinches what a creep he has become.
I don’t know about the rest of Canada but here in my province, like KML said, as long as you keep your inheritance separate from your marital accounts, your spouse is not entitled to any of it. I was really lucky in my D because I didn’t keep the money I inherited separate. However, XH did not go after it and he did not go after the rental home I bought with my sister either. Maybe it’s because he wanted the D over with quickly and he knew I would fight him on it. Or maybe it’s because there is a decent person in there somewhere and he knew he didn’t really deserve to get any of it. Or maybe it’s a combination of both.
Wow butterfly, that’s crazy in your state - and the gall of your ex! I can’t imagine feeling entitled to a future inheritance from one’s ex-in-laws! I guess that clinches what a creep he has become.
in fairness, his TSH was 17 and rising, not getting adjusted by his ridiculous MD at the time, and his lawyer was fomenting as much dissent as possible to get her hands on the considerable equity in our home. Luckily once his tsh reached a high of 27 and he changed doctors, got the thyroid under control, he realized what a horrible lawyer he had and fired her, but not before she ran up his retainer significantly. But yeah, it's a really horrible precedent which has led to a lot of litigation that has caused considerable breakdown in families far beyond the couple themselves.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Masks are the new epi-pen. Who knew? Lol. Sadly I have zero doubt many believe both are equally effective in saving lives. That’s 2020 for ya.
As usual Dawn and Butterfly did a better job of explaining things than I may have. It did get me to thinking though, it’s a good thing S doesn’t have severe allergies to dust or rabbits or dog poop and cat litter. Or is that just a happy coincidence? Certainly makes ya think though doesn’t it?
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
EXACTLY what I was thinking, bttrfly, but didn't elaborate as much as you did. I agree with absolutely everything that you said. Here's my thing about the hard work of cooking from scratch, though. Yes, it is time-consuming and certainly something that takes effort and planning. But there are wonderful inventions like crock pots and instapots and casserole dishes that do at least part of the work for you. And, these meals can be healthy too. One doesn't necessarily have to stand over the stove for hours cooking everything by hand if they choose healthy recipes and healthy ingredients and then use some of these other tools to just make things easier. We eat a lot of soups in the fall and winter. Fresh, home-made soup with fresh veggies and maybe a nice salad to accompany it can be a nice, balanced, healthy meal. I think, though, that goes back to what you said, bttrfly, about taking ownership and responsibility of one's own needs. I work full time, as does Sparky and both of us like to cook, but neither of us is a huge fan of making huge meals that take an hour to prepare after working all day. We do relatively simple meals during the week and more involved meals on the weekends that take more prep and cook time. It is really pretty easy to cook good, nutritious meals, but you just have to be willing to put in the time and some people just lack that ability.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I work full time plus and manage to put a from scratch meal on the table about 4 times per week. A treat to eat out or order in once a week and leftovers other times. It is not time consuming . I use my air fryer which really cuts down on time.
Truth if the matter is, for someone who doesn’t work at all has plenty of time to cook nutritious meals with dietary restrictions. It’s not time consuming. It’s takes some effort. But we all know that S just doesn’t like to give effort.
I’m sorry for the loss of her father. It is also sad that she just has no will to do basic things in life. Is it because no gives her a reason to? Who knows. But choice is hers in the long run. Enabling doesn’t help the situation for sure.
Andrew, this is too much for anyone. She’s got some serious major issues she has no desire to work through. She prefers excuses. She isn’t a partner. It’s like you now have 3 extra children in your home. But what you choose to do with the situation is your choice. What S chooses to do with her life is her choice. But you shouldn’t have to suffer from her bad choices
