NZ, how are you doing mate, was wondering where you had got to and how you were going.
I would get a gift from your S. I am taking my S shopping in the next few days and I will ask him what he wants to get her and let him choose. I will also write a card to her from him only, let him dictate what to say.
I did the same for my STBXW's 40th back in August, he chose a red t-shirt. But I also made the mistake of adding in an expensive gift voucher and put my name on the card, she didn't even say thanks.
Its a nice thing to do with your S and teaches the joy of giving. Not doing that would seem petty IMO.
Me: 41 W:42 T: 14 M: 11 S: 6
"What happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way...because it didn't"
I would not, and I won’t. Unless they say it themselves of course. Guess it’s more of a cultural thing. Would a three year old typically give gifts to parents? Are you expecting a gift from S3?
Me: 34 Stbxw: 30 D:5 D:3 Mini bd: May/June 2019 Married: Aug 2019 BD: 6th Dec 2019 OM Confirmed: Feb 2020 March 2020: I filed for D Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
I have a question, should I get a Christmas gift for my WAW from our S3?
You should help you children get their mother a gift. 3 might be too young, but maybe hand print foot print on a card? Professional photo S3? As he gets older, give him a budget and take him to pick out things for mommy. You do this regardless of how your relationship with mother is.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
OB- I'm doing good mate. But I have had a little bit of a hard time lately. A lot of reminiscing around this time of year has made it harder. So many traditions and memories. I have tried to keep as many as i could with S3 and tried a few new ones. Which has been fun. I took your advise as i was along the same lines, I did it for S3 and not me or STBXW. I got him to pick the card and also draw in it. Some things you can be petty about but getting him to draw int he card has been happening since he could pick up a crayon. It was fun for him.
Mumin - No, I Have no expectations. In NZ and Australia it is common for children to give gifts to parents/grandparents.
R2C- Exactly my thinking. And this will continue into the future.
As said above i have found myself regressing a little in positivity lately. Not out of thinking of STBXW (I made a conscious decision to call her STBXW to progress) or to contact her but from spending time with S3 and doing firsts - first photo with Santa just the 2 of us, advent calendar time, singing Christmas carols at bed time etc. While i have loved doing all of these it has been with a tinge of sadness.
I knew i would regress or go through a few of the stages of grief again. I know that helps me slowly heal.
I have Christmas eve coming where i will be "alone". I have made plans to be not alone and will be spending it with friends, looking forward to that. I continue to GAL, 180, exercise and stay busy.
On a side note, Mods and everyone. I'm not getting any emails from the threads I follow. Can anyone help? Cheers.
OB- I'm doing good mate. But I have had a little bit of a hard time lately. A lot of reminiscing around this time of year has made it harder. So many traditions and memories.
As said above i have found myself regressing a little in positivity lately. Not out of thinking of STBXW (I made a conscious decision to call her STBXW to progress) or to contact her but from spending time with S3 and doing firsts -
While i have loved doing all of these it has been with a tinge of sadness.
I knew i would regress or go through a few of the stages of grief again. I know that helps me slowly heal.
Sounds like you are doing pretty well considering NZ. Setbacks seem pretty mandatory, I know I still struggle too but the ups are getting better and the lows are getting less low. Keep doing what you're doing, you sound like a great Dad.
Me: 41 W:42 T: 14 M: 11 S: 6
"What happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way...because it didn't"
OB- I'm doing good mate. But I have had a little bit of a hard time lately. A lot of reminiscing around this time of year has made it harder. So many traditions and memories. I have tried to keep as many as i could with S3 and tried a few new ones. Which has been fun. I took your advise as i was along the same lines, I did it for S3 and not me or STBXW. I got him to pick the card and also draw in it. Some things you can be petty about but getting him to draw int he card has been happening since he could pick up a crayon. It was fun for him.
Mumin - No, I Have no expectations. In NZ and Australia it is common for children to give gifts to parents/grandparents.
R2C- Exactly my thinking. And this will continue into the future.
As said above i have found myself regressing a little in positivity lately. Not out of thinking of STBXW (I made a conscious decision to call her STBXW to progress) or to contact her but from spending time with S3 and doing firsts - first photo with Santa just the 2 of us, advent calendar time, singing Christmas carols at bed time etc. While i have loved doing all of these it has been with a tinge of sadness.
I knew i would regress or go through a few of the stages of grief again. I know that helps me slowly heal.
I have Christmas eve coming where i will be "alone". I have made plans to be not alone and will be spending it with friends, looking forward to that. I continue to GAL, 180, exercise and stay busy.
On a side note, Mods and everyone. I'm not getting any emails from the threads I follow. Can anyone help? Cheers.
Most of life has a positive and negative side to it. So I can understand that as you move forward, there is a bit of sadness that it is without STBXW. However, I love your attitude and reaction to it! Making sure to spend Christmas Eve with friends! So awesome. So many LBSs would sit and stew and feel sorry for themselves. Kudos for your proactivity in this regard.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
OB after reading your sitch and seeing what you are going through. It sounds like you’re a great dad too. Hopefully you all aren’t caught up I the newest lockdown over the ditch.
Steve85 I have always had a glass is half full attitude.
Just got a text fro STBXW “would you like to come over tomorrow and open presents with S3?
Any advise on what I should text back or do?
He is staying with her and the MIL until tomorrow, I had planned on collecting him in the morning. S3 and I are travelling to see my family later Christmas Day.
That is the pickle, holidays supercharge emotions. Only you know if you can handle that. I know myself and I wouldnt go. I could not sit there without having a "this [censored] we arent a family" look across my face at some point. If you can do it go for it. Be true to yourself though.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
