A Divorce Busting® Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.


Save your marriage singlehandedly
with Divorce Busting Telephone Coaching
SPECIAL CYBER MONDAY OFFER!
Save $90 -- November 29-December 1 only
THREE DIVORCE BUSTING TELEPHONE COACHING SESSION FOR ONLY $300

CALL 303-444-7004 or use code: SAVE90 in the Divorce Busting Store

A Message from Michele
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 11 of 11 1 2 9 10 11
Re: I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 23 [Re: LH19] #2906116
10/18/20 11:48 PM
10/18/20 11:48 PM
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 1,509
K
KitCat Offline OP
Member
KitCat  Offline OP
Member
K
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 1,509
Originally Posted by LH19
That is interesting. Guess the hug was all he was looking for from you. Weird he would go through all that for a hug?

KK I don't have it out for you but I will call you on your $hit. I'm not a physchologist but I do tend to think you are a nacarssist and I was raised by one and I know they can do a lot of damage to innocent people trying to get what they want. I would love to see you trust the process but you are always right and the rest of us are wrong so I don't know why we bother? Guess that's on us.



Again... wow...

That left me in a serious bucket of tears.

I'll admit that I've not been in the best head space since BD. I probably have anxious attachment style - working on it. I'm certain none of my close friends would feel the same as you do. I'm the one who is typically taken advantage of... if anything I have been told I'm polyannaish, that is probably true. And, that is probably why your post made me cry.

Re: I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 23 [Re: Ginger1] #2906117
10/18/20 11:48 PM
10/18/20 11:48 PM
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 1,509
K
KitCat Offline OP
Member
KitCat  Offline OP
Member
K
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 1,509
Originally Posted by Ginger1
Which app is this? I would like to find some friends for outings with no romantic intentions .


Bumble

Re: I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 23 [Re: KitCat] #2906118
10/18/20 11:54 PM
10/18/20 11:54 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 5,374
G
Ginger1 Offline
Member
Ginger1  Offline
Member
G
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 5,374
I met my ex boyfriend in there. Yeah.... thatís not a friendship app.

Re: I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 23 [Re: KitCat] #2906121
10/18/20 11:58 PM
10/18/20 11:58 PM
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 5,619
L
LH19 Offline
Member
LH19  Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 5,619
KK itís best that I donít post on your thread any more. I wish you the best of luck and hope you can find some peace someday soon in your life.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

ďDon't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.Ē- Will Smith
Re: I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 23 [Re: KitCat] #2906122
10/19/20 12:45 AM
10/19/20 12:45 AM
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 1,130
M
may22 Offline
Member
may22  Offline
Member
M
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 1,130
Hey KitKat,

Hang in there. Don't let anyone on this board bully you or make you feel badly about yourself. Your thread gets a lot of action because people here care about you and and want to see you happy and healed. We think your H is a d-bag who isn't worth your a second of your continued angst, and it is painful to see you go through so many contortions over the drips of communication with him (or the absence of it), and the hope we see peeking through on your end with every interaction.

People recommend IC because they think it will help you. I know you had some bad experiences in the past, but maybe a life coach instead will be helpful to you-- a different approach and very forward-facing. People are trying to tell you things maybe in different ways, hoping that you'll hear them if they try different approaches.

But you are the only one who truly knows your sitch. No-one here really knows you. I think it is great that you have this outlet to share your most difficult thoughts so that IRL you can buckle up and go about your day. So take what you read with a grain of salt, find what resonates with you and try it out.

And dating? Since when was a single date a contract between two people to do anything besides meet and share a meal or a drink and see if they like each other? So what if she isn't wanting sex or a LTR right now? What's the difference between her not wanting that with anyone and her not feeling the spark with this dude in the moment? Honestly, it seems to me like one date is no big deal and probably helped KK a lot to just get out there and know she still has it. Her date at worst had a wasted night, no different than if it were with a woman he ended up not thinking he was compatible with at the end of the evening. it isn't like she's talking about stringing him along for months.(Right, KK??)

Hope you have a great week.


Me (45) H (41)
M:13 T:17, D8 & D10
4/19 BD #1 ILYB
8/19 BD #2 Long-distance EA
12/19 BD #3 Actually 2 year PA
2-5/20 R attempt #1
6-7/20 limbo again, back in contact with AP
8/20-present R attempt #2
Re: I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 23 [Re: Ginger1] #2906123
10/19/20 12:45 AM
10/19/20 12:45 AM
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 1,509
K
KitCat Offline OP
Member
KitCat  Offline OP
Member
K
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 1,509
Originally Posted by Ginger1
I met my ex boyfriend in there. Yeah.... thatís not a friendship app.


I don't know what to tell you...

I have several profiles on my match that simply state - looking for friendship only, looking to hang out...

Yes, I agree the majority are looking for LTR. But, the others do exist. I'm honest in my profile so anyone chatting with me is 100% aware.

YOU were looking for LTR potential... that's what you found... or almost found I guess. Its not all that's there though.

Re: I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 23 [Re: may22] #2906125
10/19/20 01:09 AM
10/19/20 01:09 AM
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 1,509
K
KitCat Offline OP
Member
KitCat  Offline OP
Member
K
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 1,509
Originally Posted by may22


And dating? Since when was a single date a contract between two people to do anything besides meet and share a meal or a drink and see if they like each other? So what if she isn't wanting sex or a LTR right now? What's the difference between her not wanting that with anyone and her not feeling the spark with this dude in the moment? Honestly, it seems to me like one date is no big deal and probably helped KK a lot to just get out there and know she still has it. Her date at worst had a wasted night, no different than if it were with a woman he ended up not thinking he was compatible with at the end of the evening. it isn't like she's talking about stringing him along for months.(Right, KK??)

Hope you have a great week.


Thank you for getting it... seriously.

This particular guy shared with me his opinions of this app versus other apps. Shared that woman tend to lie heavily about their age... posted dated pictures. He shared a particular date with someone who lied about their age by 10yrs. He wasn't so against dating someone of her age but rather that she lied about it.

He appreciated my honesty.

I went into this with the mindset to relax and have a good time. Try and have some great conversation (lets not forget I'm not only without my spouse I'm also now an empty nester.) I don't think I took advantage of anyone.

Thank goodness I'm medicated because that comment really cut me quite deeply - I lost it. I did reach out to a long time friend and asked for their opinion and did it line up... he said I was the furthest thing from narcissistic.

That being said I do see where someone would feel that I'm not listening and I writing that I'm always right. I guess, again all I can say is that I do listen. I stew on things and mull them over. I write out every thought in my head as its how I process information... I apologize here over and over and sort through my issues here because IRL I can say nothing to him. This is my only outlet.

I do have somewhat of a life coach for the last 7 months... life coach on a budget.. LOL... I need to upgrade so I'm working on that.

Re: I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 23 [Re: KitCat] #2906173
10/19/20 03:41 PM
10/19/20 03:41 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,711
Southern Maryland
job Offline

Member
job  Offline

Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,711
Southern Maryland

Last edited by job; 10/20/20 08:57 PM. Reason: added link to new thread

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Page 11 of 11 1 2 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

Save Your Marriage! Schedule Online

Schedule a phone consultation with a Divorce Busting® Coach! Call: 800-664-2435 or 303-444-7004