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A Message from Michele
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Re: Taking next steps [Re: Gigi123] #2904933
10/03/20 08:47 AM
10/03/20 08:47 AM
Joined: Sep 2019
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may22 Offline
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may22  Offline
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hang in there, Gigi. Detachment feels good, doesn't it? What are you doing for yourself?


Me (45) H (41)
M:13 T:17, D8 & D10
4/19 BD #1 ILYB
8/19 BD #2 Long-distance EA
12/19 BD #3 Actually 2 year PA
2-5/20 R attempt #1
6-7/20 limbo again, back in contact with AP
8/20-present R attempt #2
Re: Taking next steps [Re: Gigi123] #2904935
10/03/20 09:44 AM
10/03/20 09:44 AM
Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 241
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Gigi123 Offline OP
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Gigi123  Offline OP
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Feels like a time of change, but so much out of my control.
I have increased my hours at work, so working every day now.

The weather has been rain non stop, and with so many places having limitations due to covid, me and the boys try and do stuff at home. Games, drawing and so on. Im reading a lot, listening to podcasts and just have some to e to muself every night with no distractions. I would like to do more for me, outside of the house. But H is unrealiable in terms of being with the boys. He has let me down last week, i was meant to be out and had tickets for an event and he let me down the day before. So unless i get a babysitter, which im not sure is a good idea with covid and financially for me too, my evenings are spent at home.

Re: Taking next steps [Re: Gigi123] #2905346
10/09/20 02:32 PM
10/09/20 02:32 PM
Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 241
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Gigi123 Offline OP
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Gigi123  Offline OP
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Its been 2 weeks since the house was meant to go on the market, no more convo re that.

Otherwise very little Changes here, h is self isolating so we havent seen him for nearly 2 weeks.

Otherwise busy at work and spending a lot of time with the kids

Re: Taking next steps [Re: Gigi123] #2906180
10/19/20 04:23 PM
10/19/20 04:23 PM
Joined: Jul 2020
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Gigi123 Offline OP
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Gigi123  Offline OP
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7 month tomorrow! Time flies....im good, boys are good, be it a little confused, s6 thinks this is temporary and H will come home. House not on the market, no more convos re this, In fact no convos about anything. Came to see the boys, looked down and depressed, it doesnt look like all is smooth with ow. His rental is being renovated, so im sure once its ready he will start badgering re having kids overnight there. At the moment i dont know where he lives.

Re: Taking next steps [Re: Gigi123] #2906192
10/19/20 06:19 PM
10/19/20 06:19 PM
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 1,608
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KitCat Offline
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Originally Posted by Gigi123
7 month tomorrow! Time flies....im good, boys are good, be it a little confused, s6 thinks this is temporary and H will come home. House not on the market, no more convos re this, In fact no convos about anything. Came to see the boys, looked down and depressed, it doesnt look like all is smooth with ow. His rental is being renovated, so im sure once its ready he will start badgering re having kids overnight there. At the moment i dont know where he lives.


I know this is all hard... I'm sorry.

It does seem like you are handling yourself well under the circumstances.

I also, had no idea where my H lived when I booted him out. He was already gone 3-4 nights on a weekend and frankly didn't tell the truth well at all then... the silly part is that I wasn't even asking but he still felt the need to lie. He was not pleased when he was forced to leave and be gone 24/7 and no longer allowed to come and go as he wished. I suspect he couch surfed and probably stayed mostly with a married couple. I remember at one point him telling me he couldn't stay at OW's as her place was too small. Only a one room/bedroom apartment? I literally laughed and thought to myself that maybe he should be screwing someone in a higher pay bracket... LOL! Never said that out loud.

He bought a house. I still never asked for his address. Didn't care. Hilarious though because our insurance company wanted to make sure I knew and sent me all the documentation for his house. I have 5 months later never even googled the address... never drove by... don't care.

Hang in there.

Re: Taking next steps [Re: Gigi123] #2906226
10/19/20 08:57 PM
10/19/20 08:57 PM
Joined: Jul 2020
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Gigi123 Offline OP
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Gigi123  Offline OP
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Hey KC

I Occasionally wonder, but im a woman i wonder about many things. These are fleeting thoughts, not obsessions.

I sort of found calm in between all this limbo and uncertainty. I have no doubt at some point there will be conversations.
But for now, he isNt doing anything To hurt me. We have Seperated everything to the point where he wouldnt even need to lieto me about anything. He hasnt dragged the kids anywhere with OW since 12 September.....we only correspond about kids, any issues at school that i feel he needs to be aware of or if there are any large purchases to do with kids where i need money. Thats it. We dont ask how each other are, when he is at the house, i tend to go and run errands or crack on with my own stuff out of their way. I must say kids love it when we are altogether in the house.

Re: Taking next steps [Re: Gigi123] #2906478
10/22/20 04:52 AM
10/22/20 04:52 AM
Joined: Jul 2020
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Gigi123 Offline OP
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Boys and i are flying abroad for a week, something that we have planned as a family a long time ago, it was for s6 and my H birthday. H isnt flying with us but dropped us off at the airport. It will be the first time in 7 years where him and s6 who share their birthdays will be apart. I have no idea if he is still with ow or not, i anticipate its still going on in some capacity, but certainly doesnt feel as intense as it used to be.

I realise that after 7 months i dont know this person, i dont know what his life is like, what he likes, how his health is, i know nothing about him. It feels strange not to know any of this after 13 years together.

He is moving into his new rental in November and has already asked for the boys to stay with him over the weekend, i just said ye lets talk when im back.

Anyways looking forward to a week worth of sun and a brilliant time with my boys

Re: Taking next steps [Re: Gigi123] #2906518
10/22/20 03:14 PM
10/22/20 03:14 PM
Joined: Aug 2020
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rachel75 Offline
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Gigi, you sound like you are doing really well! I'm so glad. I hope you have the best time celebrating S6. It sounds like you are doing great with detachment.

Re: Taking next steps [Re: Gigi123] #2906531
10/22/20 06:21 PM
10/22/20 06:21 PM
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Posts: 241
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Gigi123 Offline OP
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Gigi123  Offline OP
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Posts: 241
Thank Rachel, you know we even started talking more freely, he rung me
To check how we got to our destination and im on with that. I know ots against db, but im exhausted from all of
This. We arent friends never will be, but i would hate for my
Kids to have parent who do bot
Communicate and cant stand being around each other.

Thats just where we are you know and he seemed perfectly content that he wasnt on holiday with us (i mean it might be for show) or he could truly just be happy that he has ow. Whatever it is it doesnt impact me.
So i guess yes
Im as detached as im going to get at this stage

How are you doing?

Re: Taking next steps [Re: Gigi123] #2907163
10/30/20 08:45 AM
10/30/20 08:45 AM
Joined: Jul 2020
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Gigi123 Offline OP
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Gigi123  Offline OP
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Posts: 241
Hey all, we are back from our holiday abroad and what a fab time we had with the boys. H dripped us off at the aurport and picked us up too. All very odd really. Whilst we were away he has crammed a load of his stuff into our garage ready for him to move into his rental place next weekend. I have no idea if he is moving in with ow or not. I know they are still going, as they txt all the time.

Otherwise literally no changes in our sitch. It will be xmas in no time, and then we are out of the horrid 2020!

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