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#2900828 07/28/20 05:16 PM
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For those who are divorced/separated and have kids that go back and forth every couple of days, and don't live too close to your ex, how do you manage the commute?

I'm looking at new houses, and not finding anything where I've been looking (close to my ex's house), and so I was thinking of looking across the state line.

I'm worried about the commute on days she has daycare/school which is near my ex.

If I was across the state line, I'd probably be anywhere from 20-30 miles away.

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I think that would get really old, really fast Captain. I’m not sure how old your daughter is but it would be even more difficult when school was back in session. How tiresome would it get for her to have to leave an hour early from your home to get to school each day. The driving...time, money, etc... all of it would get very taxing after awhile. In theory, it is doable but, in reality, really, really hard on everyone. My ex only lives a 15 minute drive away and my kids hate it when they have to get up extra early to get to school from his place. Plus, because he also has to get to work about 45 minutes before they need to be at school, they often get dropped off at my place anyway and I drive them at school on my way to work. I think they are going to get a lot grumpier about it once they hit teenage years and want to get as much sleep as possible in the mornings. Anyway...those are my thoughts. The closer you can move to your ex, the easier it will be on all of you. (((HUGS)))

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Thanks @DejaVu6.

That's kind of what I was thinking. My daughter is only 3, so school is still a couple of years off, but she will be starting day care next month. That's only 3 days a week, so it's not every day that that the commute would happen. Twice a week at most, and only one half the time.

And it's hard because where I work now is almost assuredly not where I'll be working in 2 years. Right now, I work on the other side of the state line and make that commute every day, but if I lived out there, if I had to take my D to daycare, I'd have to drive all the way out there, and then all the way back before work started. That would definitely get old. Granted, my commute on days without my D would be a lot less, but that's easier than getting up an hour earlier IMO.

I may get a trial run soon. It's unlikely I find a house before I have to move, and so I'll have to fall back on my temporary option, which is close to where I work now.


Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

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