I set up an alternate facebook profile and had a peek at the world beyond my being blocked.
I did also have a browse around to see what B might be up to that I was blocked from. There's really nothing visible to indicate that she's not still living one town over and that her STBX is still in. And he doesn't show anything to indicate that he's part of a couple. I wish her well and do hope that she's building a new life and not gone back to the old one.
I'm sorry Andrew I find this behavior disturbing. Why would you do such a thing? Seriously.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
I think it's just natural to be curious, bttrfly. I've peeked at my ex's account once or twice in the past (although it's all private so I only see a few pictures.) It's really abnormal when you think about it to know so little about what has happened to these people we once cared for.
I happen to agree with bttfly. It’s one thing to peek into an account of someone who never blocked you...... but to make up a fake account because you want to see into the lives of people who blocked you.... ( they blocked you for a reason) it’s a little concerning .
I think it's just natural to be curious, bttrfly. I've peeked at my ex's account once or twice in the past (although it's all private so I only see a few pictures.) It's really abnormal when you think about it to know so little about what has happened to these people we once cared for.
sure. I understand that. Where I draw the line is going to the lengths of creating fake accounts. That is disturbing to me.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Hi everyone from crazy land! Work is driving me nuts but I am largely having fun. It is making for some really long days though. I think I'm going to have to set my alarm back another 1/2 hour so that I can have my quiet morning "me" time and perhaps bathe.
Just finishing up now at 5:30 having started at 7:00. My boss was suggesting to me that he'll be having me start tracking rail cars as today's mistake was brought to you by the letters C and N (Canadian National Railway). I made vague promises about a delivery that can't happen because the rail car needed isn't where it was supposed to be. Some back-tracking to manage customer expectations and long phone calls were required.
The next couple of weeks are going to be even harder as I'm covering for a colleague on vacation and have a couple of tasks with fairly hard deadlines.
S has been off to visit her Dad's air conditioning and is expected back tonight. I did actually pick up some beer but it didn't "hit the spot" like it used to. I actually put the A/C on last night but the night before with just the fresh air was good. Hopefully this heat will break soon.
I'm very proud of S13. I asked that everyone "sleep on" the decision about the bunny adoption and he has made the choice to stick to the original plan of waiting until things calm down and getting a hamster. It was a tough decision I'm sure but it shows to me at least that he's taking the responsibility for the choice quite seriously.
Things with the cats are settling down now a bit too. "The girls" still get into fits from time to time but the 2 new cats are settling in. Right now the male cat alternates between being terrified and wanting to be friends, following the girls around meowing at them (all are fixed). I think it will all be fine.
Not much else going on. S17 is pretty much zero maintenance. I have to give him a ride to and from work and he's generally social. He was happy that I asked the owner of the store if his favourite brand of ice tea could be stocked. I also knocked together a hay feeder for his bunnies that neither of us are completely confident that it will work well.
I've peeked into S17's room and it is in complete chaos which isn't a surprise.
S is working on various plans on getting the boys outside and active. I expect them to meet with varying levels of success.
I did finally get my Father's Day card from D28 and she seems to be doing fairly well. They stay pretty much hunkered down at home. Still no word from S25. I'll maybe wait another week and then give him an actual phone call.
The stealth Facebook account I created was flagged as violating the terms of service and disabled so no worries about that any more. I had my look through the window - no need to look any more.
Well - I'm going to try to get a walk in despite the heat.
Nice to have a post with little or no controversy isn't it.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
The stealth Facebook account I created was flagged as violating the terms of service and disabled so no worries about that any more. I had my look through the window - no need to look any more.
so, FB made the decision, not you?
And that = no worries?
You don't get it, do you?
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
I think sometimes curiosity gets the best of us. Also FB is fast with fake accounts. I once created a random account so I can let my S use it to link to a game, but the account was shut down in a few mins.
I was actually logging on to remove it as I both felt that it had no further utility and also as kml suggested, I didn't want anyone to see the nose prints on their windows from me peeking in. I will admit that having satisfied that itch that I have very little curiosity about what's going on in my ex-wife's life now. Really it's "nothing to see here". She's undoubtedly not hugely happy but that's speculation on my part.
I remember early in this process always expecting her to "hit rock bottom" and thinking that each minor setback for her was that. Now - I'm confident that she'll cruise along in her life doing her thing while I do mine. People don't fundamentally change. They can wear masks for a while to delude others. More effective are the glasses we see these people through where we imagine them to be something they are not.
I regret the end of my marriage. I regret the loss of the life that I had planned. Those doors are closed now. There is no do-over. I can see no future where what I had would ever be again. The chapter completed. I am well embarked on the next phase of my life which while not at all what I expected is what has been what the fates have chosen to put in my path.
Life persists. And it's like the old phrase goes. Happiness is wanting what you have, not having what you want. I am a very fortunate man.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
People don't fundamentally change. They can wear masks for a while to delude others. More effective are the glasses we see these people through where we imagine them to be something they are not.
I was sure of the downward spiral of the walkaway as well... but nope. Never happened. It was my narrative of the world being a just place and him regretting like in the movies. I talk to people that leave their spouses - and no regrets. No moments of Remorse or coming through fogs. I think that’s just something we project and put out there. We paint these picture of what’s going on in their heads or label them damaged because we can’t understand Why their feelings for us changed. I wish I wasted less of my life analyzing ex and just looking at the actions. Thats why I can’t go on newcomers. It’s so obvious.
I expected my ex to hit rock bottom - especially with his history. And now I’m glad it never did - for my sons sake. I don’t regret the loss of my marriage though. It wasn’t healthy. Love your saying about happiness
