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Stbx had to put our dog down Friday. D17, who hasn't seen him in over a year, went with him. She refused to look at his face and hated seeing him. She remembers him calling her a little beotch not that long ago. She said he kept saying he's sorry and honestly I'm not sure what for. On the way back from the vet both girls were sobbing and he's trying to reach D17 by making small talk. She was livid. Her dog just died and he's making it all about him.

Later he sent S19 a picture of the dog, not dead just a picture. S19 showed it to me and asked "why did he do this?" Again the only answer I have is that he's making this about him. S19 said it was a banner day for stbx. He got rid of one of the pets he no longer wants and he got to see D17. Win/win.

D17 said he's totally gray headed and that even his arm hair is gray now. Weird. Stress?? He looked great last July.

BTW My support hearing is in 6 days.

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kml Offline
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Sorry about your dog.
Yes, the gray hair can be stress. It's stressful being a bigoted angry man. Don't let it gain your sympathy.

Hope your support hearing goes well. Stay calm and unemotional during it. It almost never turns out well for women who get "hysterical" - i.e. show their emotions - during a hearing. Don't let him push any buttons.

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kas99 Offline OP
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Originally Posted by kml
Sorry about your dog.
Yes, the gray hair can be stress. It's stressful being a bigoted angry man. Don't let it gain your sympathy.

Hope your support hearing goes well. Stay calm and unemotional during it. It almost never turns out well for women who get "hysterical" - i.e. show their emotions - during a hearing. Don't let him push any buttons.


No sympathy from me it's these little things that help me when I'm 6 days from court.

This might just be another motion which means I won't have to be there. See my last attorney messed everything up so now we have to go before the judge to get an extension. This is for disovery.

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kas99 Offline OP
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His attorney agreed to whatever mine was trying to do so I don't have to go to court. My attorney told me not to worry and to have a great weekend.

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YAY!!! Happy Independence Day!

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kas99 Offline OP
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Had a major setback this weekend. The pain hit and every trigger was magnified. I know a lot of it is due to the actual divorce being underway. I haven't seen or spoken to him in a year and I'd really like to keep it that way. I've spent $1k so far just cleaning up the mess my last attorney made. I'm now back on track and have $9k before I run out of cash. We're now in discovery and no news yet.

Oh and then there's COVID. School is scheduled to start in a few weeks and well won't that be fun. People aren't taking this seriously so cases are climbing. My boss is on vacation in Florida as I type this. Why???

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Oof. $1k to "clean up a mess" is painful. $9k is far more than I spent on a D. Should be plenty as long as you're either asking for what the court typically gives or what you two can agree to.

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kas99 Offline OP
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Originally Posted by CWarrior
Oof. $1k to "clean up a mess" is painful. $9k is far more than I spent on a D. Should be plenty as long as you're either asking for what the court typically gives or what you two can agree to.


Hired a new attorney 7 weeks ago and its ON now. Stbx is angry now that he knows why I hoarded cash. Angry that I lawyered up and he's getting hammered with lets get this done motions. S20 hates him because he won't shut up about it. My old attorney was bad, worse than I thought, and now stbx knows I have hired someone new. I hope $10k is enough. Please let that be enough....

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Hi Kas99,

Originally Posted by kas99
he's getting hammered with lets get this done motions. I hope $10k is enough. Please let that be enough....

I'd be curious if "hammering" him with motions accomplishes anything more legally than a single notice. A single motion to expedite was enough in my case to trigger a court hearing. Maybe worth asking? If your attorney has 4/5-star reviews, and they know cost is a key consideration for you, I wouldn't worry too much.

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I'd be curious if "hammering" him with motions accomplishes anything more legally than a single notice. A single motion to expedite was enough in my case to trigger a court hearing. Maybe worth asking? If your attorney has 4/5-star reviews, and they know cost is a key consideration for you, I wouldn't worry too much.


My last attorney messed everything up so it's taken 6+ motions to get the D back on track and stbx gets overwhelmed easily. I filed back in November, he found out in March and the whole thing stalled. I know stbx and he probably assumed I chickened out like I did before. He stuck his head back in the sand and went back to his regularly scheduled life. I hired a new attorney and now he knows I'm serious about getting this done. He's not doing well.

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