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DnJ Offline
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Hello Gerda

I just got home (9:30pm). Terrible blowing snow, couldnt see the road. A far bit of my journey was at 10 km/hr.

I would install the insulated subfloor right up to the outside wall. Then anchor the bottom guide board to the floor.

Oh, yes, spray foam. Wonderful stuff.

Virtually helping a friend insulate her mountain cabin was certainly unforeseen. Like Ive said, this journey has many blessings.

Originally Posted by Gerda
Insulating a basement is some good GAL. I also finished a massive writing project I have been (rarely able to be) working on for about seven years. Gerda climbing out of the ditch.

Yay!

A seven year writing project. Congratulations. Wow!

D


Now: Me54 XW51 S25 S23 S21 D20

Oct 8/17-BD, Moves in w/OM, Leaves Kids
Me49 W46 S20 S19 S16 D15
M26 T29
Dec 9/17-Legal Separation
Oct 3/18-W Files
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I love to see how the relationships we have made here are real, and down to earth. The wealth of knowledge from the friends made here is not limited to relationships!!

Hugs

Grace


M: 56
H: 57
S: 22
D: 20

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Gerda Offline OP
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Oooh, Gracie! Glad to see you stopping by! I am esp glad because I get to have Grace IRL!

Meanwhile -- I made it to my cabin. I had to rent a car and took an SUV into which I packed 50 subfloor panels, a roll of cotton canvas I bought at a fabric store for 6 bucks a yard and a whole bunch of salvage stuff I have been collecting in my city over the last month for various projects here. First time I have been without either child in... ever? I sang to whatever music I wanted on the radio and watched the trees get more and more orange and red and yellow as I headed north, watch the sun setting over an orchard, made it to place in the dark and took me like an hour to unload the car under moonlight and starlight. And the front porch was full of the foamboard to insulate the walls of the basement and the ceilings of the bedrooms.

This place was our wedding "gift" -- we asked people to contribute to the downpayment instead of a registry. I was thinking as I was walking back and forth from car with the panels in the beautiful fall air looking at the mountain in silhouette of moonlight about how it ended up being MINE, and how when we bought it, I didn't even really want it. H was unhappy at an earlier stage in our relationship and he wanted to get away from the city. We almost broke up actually and then he decided he would move to a nearby beach town and split his time between there and my place in the city. It was too expensive so he started looking in the mountains,and eventually his goal of escaping became our project to have together, and even part of our wedding, as we married nearby and closed just after the wedding, with the gifts completing the downpayment. I learned to love it here and now it's mine and I am even making money on it. He stopped doing anything here for years, now I am fixing things and making it even more viable as a business. Since Covid started, I was able to cover my mortgage and all my groceries with the rentals. It's another symbol of turning the wreck these MLCers make of our lives into something we can seed as our own flowering vine. They chose a new life path,and we tried so hard to stop them. I stood for seven years. Ultimately I was thrust onto a life path I didn't want. But now I feel like I am waking up and figuring out where to go from here. The pain of losing the path I planned doesn't go away but in my case it became so clear that I couldn't stand in the same way anymore. Now I am standing for my kids, grieving the life they didn't get, trying to plant some new seed in what seemed like barren ground.

Still trapped in divorce land but maybe one day that will finally be over too. I still pray for my H, but not for him to come back to me, only for him to find his way back to God.

Back to the task at hand -- I am gonna set up my new dehumidfier now but I noticed that the PVC drainpipe is still leaking onto the basement floor so I don't know if this is gonna throw a wrench (pun intended!) in my plans to put in the subfloor tomorrow. I hired a guy to come and help me with these projects so hopefully all will go well in phase one of Operation Insulation. Thanks for all the advice, DnJ! I will keep you posted.

Last edited by Gerda; 10/24/20 01:56 AM.

I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
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Good Morning Gerda

What a wonderful post. The trip seemed to get better the further you got from the city. More colourful leaves, a sunset, and unloading the supplies while awash in moonlight and starlight.

It probably feels strange without the kids. Its kind of funny how they are always there, always around - and then they arent. Enjoy the downtime.

Of course you are having a working holiday. Downtime isnt quite on the menu. smile

You are so right on how we dont want that lifes path weve been thrust upon. And then, almost miraculously, things become clear. That path, we take ownership of it. We decide to journey forward and see where our feet take us.

I am very proud of your rolling up your sleeves and digging into your project. Fixing a few holes here and there, replacing whats broken, making it your own, making it better, making it what you want - both cabin and heart.

Ive found my external projects have gone hand in hand with my internal ones. My recent, and still ongoing, decluttering of the basement occurred in my house and my heart it seems. I see the same within you. Turning that basement into a living space - cabin and heart. (((Gerda)))

For what it worth, do not grieve the life your kids didnt get, rejoice and love the life they have. That barren ground, only seems barren. Im pretty sure Im preaching to the choir on this. For I believe you know.


Throw a wrench - lol. Good one.

Good getting the dehumidifier setup and working. What drainpipe is leaking onto the floor? Where does it come from? Reroute or extend it over and into the floor drain. It shouldnt cause too much problem with the subfloor install.

Its good to hear you hired a helper.

Originally Posted by Gerda
DnJ! I will keep you posted.

Please do. Im excited to hear about your progress.

D


Now: Me54 XW51 S25 S23 S21 D20

Oct 8/17-BD, Moves in w/OM, Leaves Kids
Me49 W46 S20 S19 S16 D15
M26 T29
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Insert photo of Gerda collapsed. Nothing in cabin is even remotely consistent so it took many hours to get the panels cut (to fit all these completely irregular spaces) to cover them with canvas, and I ended up having to work with the helper on this the entire time so I didn't get that far with subfloor and there are 4 x 8 foot foam panels blocking the porch.

BUT I did get a lot done. The ceilings are almost done and I put in about 1/3 of the basement worth of sublfloor and learned how to do it. Tomorrow I have to get this place in order for renters by 2 pm so I don't know if I can do anymore, esp as there is a cord of wood to stack and my limbs have turned to jelly after my long day of warrior work. I am tempted to call the guy to come and work on it for me, trying to decide if I can spend any more money on labor but it would be so nice to have it all done.

I think I am going to do some cleaning so I can sit here in a clean house with a cup of tea. But I can't get off this chair, so can you start it for me?

You are not preaching to the choir. I have no regrets about standing per se but I am still periodically awash in regrets for marrying him in the first place. I do think I loved his best self, and he could have become what I thought he was. But looking back now, I see so many things that I thought were just how men were, or how much any man would ever love me (in an extremely limited way), and I wish I had listened to what I knew. That said, God must have wanted D and S here, and so he must have big plans for them, and me too. For one thing, I don't know how I would ever have found faith, but there are many other reasons I already see God's plan for me. But the point is, I do still have regrets and grief for my kids. You have four of them, and they have each other, and grandparents and a very vibrant life. Mine don't. My family kind of fell apart and I saw my life with H as building a new family since mine was such a disaster. So mine are really really lonely, and I do have a lot of sorrow about that, and about how thin our family life seems so much of the time. But I know they love me a lot and I hope one day they will understand how hard I tried.

Thin moon over the mountain, stars blinking, dog curled in a ball on the sofa after a hard day of chasing chipmunks, the little string lights on the porch and the darkness beyond. I have no flashlight and forgot to collect kindling so I think no fire tonight.

I just noticed on the main page that a huge number of people have read this thread. It is strange because mostly it's only you, DnJ who is replying on my page! I wonder who these people are and what they see in my thread -- what they see of me, and my journey, but also how it does or doesn't help to read about it. Hey, you there, stranger who is reading my thread, what do you think of it all?

Last edited by Gerda; 10/25/20 12:36 AM.

I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
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Hello Gerda

I bet you will sleep good tonight. And not just from the fresh mountain air. smile

It sounds like an impressive amount was accomplished. Most of the ceiling and 1/3 of the floor. Excellent. You are quite the handyman, handywoman, handyperson... you are quite handy.

Yes, there are many who are reading your thread. Its just over 3000 right now. And that is only people who read while logged in. The guest views are not counted.

Enjoy your rest and the tea. Get those jelly-arms back in shape for you got a cord of wood to stack. Maybe bring your helper back, it would be so nice to have phase one of Operation Insulation done.

I just went to see the crescent moon. Alas, it is cloudy. No moon, no stars. The entire sky is a faint white glow from the reflection of lights upon the low cloud ceiling. It is also -7C, so me standing on my deck in my slippers, jeans, and T-shirt, was a quick event. Brrrrrr.

D


Now: Me54 XW51 S25 S23 S21 D20

Oct 8/17-BD, Moves in w/OM, Leaves Kids
Me49 W46 S20 S19 S16 D15
M26 T29
Dec 9/17-Legal Separation
Oct 3/18-W Files
Apr 6/19-Divorced

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Hi Gerda! I read your words! I am one of the thousands!

You have such specific questions (mostly to DnJ) that I feel I am able to read, but not share much. However, I enjoy reading your updates and journey, even if I don't have any knowledge about insulation. wink

I hope your weekend continues to go smoothly and you have a cloudless night to witness the crescent moon in the countryside.

(((gerda)))

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Hallo, Sage, and thank you for the post and the hug! I did get to see the moon and stars most gorgeously.

When I got back to the city I had to pull a big tick out of my THIGH! I don't know how that fellow made his way up my jeans. Insert joke about my unrequested LBS chastity here.

I adore DnJ and we are old friends at this point but it is still a mystery why my thread often has become a conversation between two! But as you say, this far in, my questions get pretty specific and half the time I don't post about what is bothering me the most, or the latest D horror because I already know the advice I will get (e.g., it's in my head but I am plugging my ears and shouting LALALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!) or I am just sick of hearing myself whine about it.

Last edited by Gerda; 10/26/20 01:26 PM.

I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
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Good Morning Gerda

How goes the cabin project?

Did you finish laying down the subfloor? Did you get the wood piled up?

Are you starting the outside walls in the basement or mini-split heater next?

By the way, my commute this morning was under a dark and star-filled sky. And just as I rose over the hill that is around 20 minutes from city and work, a meteor. Its white hot sparkling trail blazed across my view. What a glorious start to a day.

Hope all is well.

D


Now: Me54 XW51 S25 S23 S21 D20

Oct 8/17-BD, Moves in w/OM, Leaves Kids
Me49 W46 S20 S19 S16 D15
M26 T29
Dec 9/17-Legal Separation
Oct 3/18-W Files
Apr 6/19-Divorced

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Originally Posted by DnJ
You are quite the handyman, handywoman, handyperson... you are quite handy.



I don't know why but this made me laugh all evening.

I didn't rest. I kept working all night til 2 am just to finish the ceilings. Basement I had to haul 15 8 x 4 sheets down the stairs but didn't get to install any. I was cutting the ceiling sheets with a bread knife and that was just about the worst job ever, esp as I kept mismeasuring. The helper guy had not even the best saw but his cuts were so straight! Next time I rent a saw. (Or just get the guy back.) Then the whole places was covered with insulation bits and the previous renters had clearly not dusted or mopped the place their whole 7 week stay, so I had to clean for 5 hours and finished just in time to be outta there before they arrived. Met a nice new neighbor who bought a place up the road and is renovating to AirB and decided to be her friend despite competitor factor. I couldn't get the hose hooked up to the dehumidifier and so I am hoping I can get someone to go by while the renters are there so I can keep my basement dry. It really worked! And even with floor only 1/3 one and only one foamboard up on basement wall, it was drier and warmer down there. And my fabric covered panels on the bedroom ceilings were also miraculously better than when there was nothing -- it was toasty (at least relative to before). Exciting!

Originally Posted by DnJ
I just went to see the crescent moon. Alas, it is cloudy. No moon, no stars. The entire sky is a faint white glow from the reflection of lights upon the low cloud ceiling. It is also -7C, so me standing on my deck in my slippers, jeans, and T-shirt, was a quick event. Brrrrrr.


This also made me laugh. I do this too but I am quaking with cold in 45 degrees. Then I realized that all this time you must be using Celcius. It is still freaking cold where you live and I don't know how you do it, but it's not quite as bad as I thought in fahrenheit.

Last edited by Gerda; 10/26/20 01:36 PM.

I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
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