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Whelp, not much to report. Only negatives really.

More of her treating me like I'm a leper while I'm just trying to be polite while we're in the same house. Another argument, and more punishment from her (she's kicked me out of the master bedroom so she can sleep there...except she's still sleeping with our daughter in her room).

I've come to the conclusion that I don't want a new relationship with this "new" version of my EW. Looking back over the years, and particularly the last couple, I've realized that I've been in a pretty abusive relationship. And, now the person she is, is getting more abusive by the day.

I guess I have realized that for some time, really. I even told her about it last year (and she agreed). I guess I didn't realize how abusive she could be. But, she's extremely manipulative, selfish, and vindictive. Any time I speak my mind, she retaliates and tries to hurt me in some way. She has a real darkness in her, that kind of frightens me.

It's best to just get away from her (as much as possible). I I hope she finds a way to deal with her demons once I'm gone.

I still worry about how all of this is going to affect my daughter (and step-daughter), especially since I don't trust my EW in regards to safety, and feel her emotional abuse is not limited to just me.

I'm starting the process of looking for a new place to live, which is going to be a pain. I should say, finding the right house will be a pain. I have places I can stay if I don't find the right place soon enough. Of course, in that case, I'd have to get some storage, and so it would still be a pain. I hate moving.

Our daughter has a birthday this weekend, and her party will be next weekend. It'll be the first time our families have been together in a while. I'm not sure how that's going to go. My family, who adored my EW at one point, now thinks pretty poorly of her. It seems like her family feels that way about me as well.


Last edited by CaptainN; 07/14/20 04:46 PM.
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So, my EW gave our D3 laundry detergent to play with last night. Just straight up handed it to her and told her to take it to the other room.

Thankfully, she came right to where I was and I took it away from her. When I took it back to my EW, she just said, "What? She wanted to play with it."

When I said I would rather she not play with it, because I didn't want her to possibly drink it or anything, she said, "She knows not to drink it. She even said she wouldn't."

I really do not like that I won't be able to keep more of an eye on my daughter once I am out of the house.

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(she's kicked me out of the master bedroom so she can sleep there...except she's still sleeping with our daughter in her room).

Quit feeling sorry for yourself and sleep in your bed. You will be treated how you let people treat you and this woman isn't your W anymore so don't get pushed around. You need to get your mojo back. It seems like you are just moping around. Life can be 100% better if you decide it can.


H 34
W 29
BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
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Originally Posted by CaptainN
So, my EW gave our D3 laundry detergent to play with last night. Just straight up handed it to her and told her to take it to the other room.

Thankfully, she came right to where I was and I took it away from her. When I took it back to my EW, she just said, "What? She wanted to play with it."

When I said I would rather she not play with it, because I didn't want her to possibly drink it or anything, she said, "She knows not to drink it. She even said she wouldn't."

I really do not like that I won't be able to keep more of an eye on my daughter once I am out of the house.

IMO you should report this (depending on consequences where you live). Your D could have been severely hurt!
AT LEAST write it (and everything else she has done) down, including some details and a date. (i do this)
It can help you with custody, especially if something were to ever go wrong.


And like ovr said. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, man up and get what you need to do done.

Last edited by Mumin; 07/20/20 09:42 PM.

Me: 34
Stbxw: 30
D:5 D:3
Mini bd: May/June 2019
Married: Aug 2019
BD: 6th Dec 2019
OM Confirmed: Feb 2020
March 2020: I filed for D
Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
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Originally Posted by CaptainN
I still worry about how all of this is going to affect my daughter (and step-daughter), especially since I don't trust my EW in regards to safety, and feel her emotional abuse is not limited to just me.

So, my EW gave our D3 laundry detergent to play with last night. Just straight up handed it to her and told her to take it to the other room. "She knows not to drink it. She even said she wouldn't."

Hi Captain, it sounds like you're continuing your pattern of giving her unwanted critiques of her parenting. Is she a danger to your kids? If yes, I believe you have an obligation to take real steps to protect them by working with your attorney and/or child protective services. This could include anything from providing carrots in your divorce settlement and/or getting her evaluated and her rights restricted. If not, let it go.

Originally Posted by CaptainN
she's kicked me out of the master bedroom. I'm starting the process of looking for a new place to live, which is going to be a pain. I should say, finding the right house will be a pain.

DB typically advocates not giving up the master bedroom or house. If you are working with your attorney and/or child protective services then staying longer may help you with documentation.

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Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
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(she's kicked me out of the master bedroom so she can sleep there...except she's still sleeping with our daughter in her room).

Quit feeling sorry for yourself and sleep in your bed. You will be treated how you let people treat you and this woman isn't your W anymore so don't get pushed around. You need to get your mojo back. It seems like you are just moping around. Life can be 100% better if you decide it can.


I'm not moping around at all. I'm quite positive when she isn't doing things like last night.

I still recognize the silliness of the other things she does, however.

As for the bed, it's hers. The house is hers, the bed is hers. I have no rights to it.

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And for the record. I have added this to my log, and I have contacted my attorney about what happened last night.

And, the camera in our daughter's room captured the moment where my EW handed her the detergent.

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