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BluWave,

Thanks for sharing! So glad your marriage is back on track and going well, as well as your personal GAL. Always appreciate reading the updates from folks further down the road to gain a better perspective on the process.


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
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Hi everyone,

I haven't updated here since January so I thought I would pop over and say hello. I don't have much to share. I would say life is going well for me and my family. Kids are getting older and we now have an adult on their own, an adult in college and one kiddo still under the roof. H and I are fine. I would not say we have much excitement or romance but I am also not looking for that or trying to create it. Not right now anyways. Most days we get along fine and have a peaceful life and household. I like the stability and friendship we maintain. I try not to take my M for granted and am grateful for what we do have.

I have lost track of my timeline at this point. I could not tell you off the top of my head when his A started, when he left and when he starting coming back to the M. I would need to look back at my threads or find another way to trace back some dates. But what I can tell you is that during my sitch, I NEVER thought I would get to the position that I am now where I have lost track of time. I was so consumed with my own thoughts, fears, anxiety, humiliation, etc, that I could not imagine a life with him again where things could be peaceful and okay. I couldn't really imagine any life. I was simply trying to survive. I can tell you today from where I sit that humans--all of us--we are resilient. We are so much more capable to get through trauma and grief than we give ourselves credit for.

I wish I had some pearls of wisdom to share with you all. What I realize now is that I actually knew it all along, I just couldn't or wouldn't accept those truths. I would often tell myself, "you won't feel this way forever," and "this terrible feeling will pass," and also, "your life will be okay again with or without him." I knew what I needed to know inside but wasn't ready to hear it. I know now that I was right all along. I am okay in my M but I know I would also have been okay without it. I think working through the trauma and allowing yourself to process and heal, really does make you a stronger person. But there really are no shortcuts or ways around that. We have to feel it and face it. It takes so much longer than you might think. Years and years. But also, I think it is worth it. We are both stronger people now. I like myself more than I did before. We are all capable of change if we are willing to do the hard work.

Take care of yourselves,
Blu

Last edited by BluWave; 11/30/22 10:41 PM.

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
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Hi Blu, I have just started to read a bit of your posts and am so inspired and thankful for your honesty.


M:52 W: 51
T:27 M:25
D26 S24 S21 D20
BD:2022
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Nice to read Blu.

We all need to learn to live our lives without fear. To love and respect ourselves so as to respect our love ones.

Those are the lighthouse foundations.

Take care Blu.


WW H(me): 53
W: 48
T: 27 M: 22
S: 18
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
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Blu,

Good to hear an update - glad things between you and your H are good and your marriage is still going strong.


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
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