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Ginger1 Offline OP
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Originally Posted by Cadet
So glad everything is OK, same with us but partner has to work in the ER again this Saturday and of course she
is now a COVID nurse.
At 67 years old this is scary stuff.

She is all suited up with the hazmat gear, takes off her clothes in garage, puts it all in a plastic bag,
and straight to washing machine.

Everyone in her house works in a hospital.

So scary about that too.

Love to everyone from us.


I was just thinking about your partner the other night wondering if she was still working the ED. I was hoping she wasn’t....... I’m thinking of her everyday, and you also, as I know you must be worried .

She’s one tough cookie with a big heart that lady!!!

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Yeah 2 more years for ER.

Thanks and (((HUGS))) back at you.


Me-70, D37,S36
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Originally Posted by Cadet
Yeah 2 more years for ER.

Thanks and (((HUGS))) back at you.

hope all stay safe xoxo


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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What a bad, bad day. First, my aunt is in the ER, and not mine this time and she is pretty sick and my cousin is freaking because she can't be with her. At work there are some very sad cases. People are going on comfort care and no one can be with them when they die. We had a husband and wife here both with the diagnosis. The wife was transferred to our sister hospital. The man is discharged home, but his wife is dying. He can't be with her. We must have cried 5 times today, me and my counterparts.

So, from my other hospital, which is the sister hospital I speak of, we got some opportunites for Critical Care refresher courses and all the crash courses we need to get back to the bedside. I signed up for 2 because they are on the weekend. I am going to ask my boss if I can go to the ones during the week. I want to be ready. Who knows what will happen to my role anyways. But I want to do this. I think this is a sign. ANd i was doing this prerequisite coursework and remember a lot. I am still have the clinician in me.

ANd lastly. My ex called me tonight saying his mom has chest pain and a cough now. I told him he has to get right over to the hospital. She is driving herself even though she is so weak. I know how this progresses and this isn't good. She needs to be hosptialized.

It's been a rough day. Just emotional. The work we are doing is actually slow. I would rather be at the bedside using my skill. It's truly a war. ANd maybe others in different parts of the country think this is being blown out of proportion, but it;s not. I thought the same thing until it came here and i am deep inside of it. This is no joke.

For self care I am drinking and eating too much, lol. I am still exercising and spending quality time with my D. We get out when the weather is good. This weekend will be nice and i will be alone so I plan to work on my yard and maybe take a nice hike with the pup. I know E should stay away from me. He is. I am. We talk every day, He tells me often he misses me. ANd me? I miss someone else. Messed up, I know. But really, my focus is elsewhere. It's rough out there. Stay safe folks.

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Originally Posted by Ginger1
At work there are some very sad cases. People are going on comfort care and no one can be with them when they die. We had a husband and wife here both with the diagnosis. The wife was transferred to our sister hospital. The man is discharged home, but his wife is dying. He can't be with her.

I’ve heard so many variations of these stories - both with and without COVID 19 but clearly because of it. It’s just so sad. I’m not even going to argue if it’s right or wrong. Probably could argue a good case on both sides and the arguments would be different for in and out of the hotspot areas. Its again just among the countless unintended consequences and fallout of the path we are on. It’s just really sad to hear about. I can’t even imagine living it. So sorry that you are.

Originally Posted by Ginger1
I know E should stay away from me. He is. I am. We talk every day, He tells me often he misses me. AND me? I miss someone else. Messed up, I know. But really, my focus is elsewhere.

Ullll, aweeee, ouch. Just bad timing, I know - really bad timing. I just can’t help but think this is not fair to him. I would not want to be E - thinking he found a great girl and really misses her and she misses him too - but only she really doesn’t. I would be really upset and VERY PO’d. I’d rather know the truth, but that’s me. I just hope you’re being honest with him. He does deserve that. You can be honest without breaking it off - if you’re not yet ready to. I know there is so much else to occupy your brain right now but just don’t make it worse for him. Put yourself in his shoes. If he keeps getting attached and falls in love with you, if that’s not happened already, it’s going to be that much harder when you end it. Imagine if the roles were reversed and you were telling him how much you missed him while he was secretly missing an ex. You’d be even more upset, I know you would. You’d think it wasn’t fair. Don’t keep him around until you find someone or get through this stressful time - at least not without letting him know you’re not where he is and you never may be. That’s my two cents on it.


DonH
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Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
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I know. I want to be fair to him. But I made it sound worse than it is. Someone keeps invading my dreams like every night and it’s messing me up. I actually do miss E a bit. I’m not ready to let him go yet. But I do know I have to be fair to him. And if he gets in too deep and I don’t.... I promise to address that.

I can’t sleep. I wake up around 4-5 just thinking. I don’t have a good feeling about my ex MIL. I haven’t and I kind of knew this was coming . Which is why I made my ex check on her multiple times a day. I’m pretty sure I’m going into work and she will be there. My ex was very thankful to me. And I can he’s a bit scared. And he said he’s the only one who was even trying to help her, aside from me. He’s the only one convincing her to go to the hospital. She’s the only good one in that family. She’s been through such h3ll. And D loves her so so so much. D checks on her, defends her when other family members are not nice to her and they have a very special bond . She can’t lose her.

I’m working in my office alone today because my other 2 coworkers are off. While it’s recommended to work apart, my 2 partners in crime keep me sane throughout the day . They will be back tomorrow .

Oh, and my ex didn’t get paid because NY didn’t sign the budget yet. My stepmother didn’t get paid either ( same job) so he asked if he could hold off on child support . I figured as much and of course said fine. He’s never been late and I get paid next to nothing from him so I told him whenever he gets paid is fine.

I was dreading this weekend because I was going to be all alone. But I’ve got big outdoor plans in nice weather so I’m looking forward to it now

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Hope your ex-MIL gets better. Hopefully she can get some of the promising drug therapies.

One of my patients who has had it (I'm sure, although testing was not available to her) feels weird still (although her breathing is fine and no fever anymore). She thinks perhaps she might be experiencing a mild version of the neurological symptoms doctors have been reporting in some patients. She's 2 1/2 weeks into this and 10 days out from the start of treatment with azithromycin and hydroxychloroquine, which definitely made a big difference, but what I'm seeing in all four of my outpatient cases is a long, up and down course of recovery.

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So exMIL was admitted to floor I am sitting on. My exSIL has been driving me a bit a crazy. Pretty sure she is feeling guilty. THey all gave me permission to speak with the doctors and Her attending doctor has been great with me. She's one of the hospitalists. SHe told me to call her anytime at all. She told me to make sure she prones (lay on her stomach) because they find early proning for 12-16 hours a day is showing a reduction in ARDS. She is only on 2 L of O2 but gets pretty short of breath on exertion. SHe is on paquenil/azithromycin, however, she is also on psyche meds so they have to monitor her QT interval closely. I hope she gets better instead of worse, there is no rhyme or reason on which way it will go.

My day was not so good yesterday. D12 locked the dog in my bedroom by accident and I had to kick the door in and it broke. I worked with this case manager yesterday who is completely paranoid and anxiety ridden and thinks we are all going to die.

Then I got the email. My other hospital wants my current manager to release me from my duties temporarily to work in their ICU. I went through so many emotions. I want to help. I have the skill. I don't feel like I am doing much in my role now. I am also scared and some people made me feel like if I did it, it would be selfish because I have a daughter and I am a single/divorced mom. The end result is my manager is not willing to release me. But they want me to do some per diem shifts on the weekends. I told them I only have 2 a month to give. They may want me. I don't know. We never know what we are getting into.

I was just in a really bad place mentally yesterday. I can't sleep past 5am anymore. But I am happy its friday. I am off the weekend, I work for 2 days, then I am off for 6. Thank God.

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I'm sorry about your ex-mil.. I hope she gets better soon.

As for you, my dear - source yourself first, or you cannot be there for anyone else, child, pet, family, work ...

I'm proud of you. I cannot imagine how hard this is every day, yet you do it. xoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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ps doors can be replaced. later.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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