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Yes, we get exposed to everything there transmission od
COVID is nothing like I’ve ever seen before. Young people talking one second and intubated the next is scary. This is a different beast for sure. But my job will always be an occupational hazard.

As for E, he will always be who he is and I know it will be up to me to decide if it’s right for me. I don’t want to change him. He can’t be changed. I’m just not ready to make any decisions right now. Funny enough, my ex boyfriends are entering my dreams every night. It’s super weird.

My exMIL has COVID. She’s been sick and I told my ex she has it and need to get tested. His sister was fighting it. She thinks she knows everything and didn’t want to lose her help at her house with the kids. I finally insisted, so my ex insisted, and she met me at my Er . Looks like she has it but they were able to send her home. I’m worried though because she lives alone. So my ex SIL did expose herself, her cop husband and her 2 young kids last Friday because she wanted what she wanted and she had her mom come over because she was so convinced it wasn’t COVID. Idiot. The most selfish people are on that family.

My hospital is being turned upside down. We are stopping maternity and turning the maternity ward into a clean sick warn. The recover room is going to be the clean ICU. The regular ICU is the COVID ICU. I continue to work in a small office with 4 others 6 inches apart. The patients are pouring in and lots are ended up intubated. Scary. Very scary. I really just want to go back to bedside and help there.

It is pretty bad where I live. I mean awful. And people keep thanking me for my service as if I’m in the military. I’m not on the front lines but many of my friends are. But I’m right behind those front lines.
Today is day 11 of 11 of work. I have off this weekend and D 12 will be with me. Of course I’m finally off and it’s going to rain.

Eating is like my hobby. Not good. I’m not eating a lot, just bad stuff I need to get back in track. But I am getting exercise almost every day.

Nervous about what I am getting into at work today!

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Ginger1 Offline OP
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Kas, thank you! Stay safe out there!!!

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love you G xoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Big hugs (((Ginger1))). When you stand in the middle of the storm it's hard to see the sunshine but rest assured it's out there.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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Ginger,

Please, please stay safe! You and your fellow medical staff are truly the heroes in all of this mess when it comes to taking care of people. No one has any idea just what you see each and every day as this virus continues to take people down. Yes, we see the photos on the news, etc., but no one has any idea just what a toll this is taking on the people in the hospitals and clinics around the world.

I saw on the news last night that patients at a NJ nursing home may have contracted the virus. I'm praying that all remain safe and healthy during this time of crisis.

Hang in there Ginger! We are all very much grateful for the support, love, kindness and compassion that all of the medical staff offers to the patients all around the world.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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It’s clearly way worse where you are. It’s very interesting to talk with all my medical friends around the country. A doc friend in the city (NYC) reports much like you do. He says they are very busy but still above water with it all. But then other places are vastly different. One has an overflow tent all set up and ready to go - they have yet to see their first patient. Another was doing drive through testing but had to shut it down. They had all sorts of people showing up demanding to be tested never having seen a doctor or having any symptoms. So finally they shut it down rather than face a fight with nearly every drive up car. They now have a referral format. Another says they are lacking PPE but seeing less patients than normal (she’s not in a Covid related unit) and finally one just got her schedule at her hospital for April and has LESS hours than usual! Lack of PPE seems to be the largest complaint/concern so far outside if hotbed areas like yours.

It really matters where you are. They have “modeled” as many as 1,500 deaths in my state by April 8. As of March 27 we have 14 - most all in their 60s to 80s and in nursing homes. I think the youngest death here so far is 56. It’s hard to believe we will go from 14 deaths to 1,500 in less than two weeks. I certainly hope not. Thankfully the report from the UK that this modeling has been based on has been drastically changed and revised yesterday by the original author who now admits he was wrong - by a factor of magnitudes. We are learning so much more by the day. Is your hospital using the Zithromax and chloroquine treatment? I know New York is doing some large trials with them.

You kinda sound strong in this latest post Ginger which is great. Also interesting how you want to be doing patient care. Maybe you should consider ED at some point down the road. You’d certainly get the variety of action there. Not sure how the pay compares though.

And the dreams about the exes. I’m not a big dream guy - as to what they mean - but does seem telling. Since I go on record early in predicting lots of things - get some right, get some wrong... I’m going to say E is not Mr. Right, he’s clearly just Mr. Right Now. smile


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
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Don, unless you are in it, it's hard to grasp. And our area is being hit very very hard. Our hosptial is a war zone and we are a small community hospital. Nurses are being cross trained and getting crash courses in critical care. Units are being turned over and we are running out of vents. THe nurses are so so so stressed. It's all around awful. I was told it will be a matter of time before I am back at the bedside. It was the big buzz around the hosptial. Young cop wanted to sign out AMA yesterday. He is intuabted today. I spoke to a young this morning, he is in the ICU pending intubation by the afternoon.

My exMIL is confirmed to have COVID. she is riding it out home alone. Just spiking the temps with weakness and fatigue. Her respiratory status is still good.

As far as E and I. He is NOT the one. I know it. We currently are not talking due to a disagreement. He won't see me. Not because of him but because his kids won't let him. I discussed in depth with a doctor and because i am not at the bedside and I am properly protecting myself and asymptomatic, I am no more of a risk. But he refuses because his sons think he will catch it from me and bring it home. Which doesn't work that way, He sons dont even go within 6 feet of him. His one son sleeps until 5pm. It's not like they cuddle and watch a movie. It's all just BS. I am just fed up with it. He is not the one and I don't really think there is a one anymore. Too many years of too much BS and my standards may be near impossible for anyone to meet. But I am not lowering them.

I miss M. I miss him and his family alot. I know it wouldn't have worked the way he was. But I did for sure love him. I did for sure love his son. And I am heartbroken still. And still really angry at him, Alone seems to be the better route. I'm good at it.

Tomorrow my former dog is being put down. ANd I found out that They can't go in with him. They have to hand him to them on the outside. My doggie is going to die without his family with him. That breaks my heart.

I'm finally breaking down a bit. I hope to rest this weekend. I have no idea what I am walking into on Monday. I need ot be prepared for anything.

I'm just tired and oh so sad.

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((Ginger)) Put your feet up and I'lll send you some virtual foot rubs. All while keeping the wine glass filled, snacks within reach and your puppy entertained.

My son in law is similarly embarrassed by the whole "thank you for your service" thing but then spent 10 months at sea. Know that even though you think of what you are doing as just doing your job, that the rest of us know that you are putting yourself between us and harms way. We do very much appreciate it.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 6,119
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I'm sorry about your puppy honey. I wish they could do this a different way, so family could be with him.

{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Oh I’m so very sorry to hear about your old dog. Having to go through that like this is another of the very unfortunate pieces to all of this. I’m hearing the same thing happening with people not being able to be with loved ones or critical non- COVID patients not having visitors at the end. I sooooo hope it’s worth it because it’s piling onto the suffering. I’m just sorry.

The fear of his sons is what’s happening all over. Fear has taken over and replaced any sense of reason for too many. It’s fear of the unknown and they will go through any length no matter what to feel safe - regardless if they are any safer or not - they just want to FEEL SAFE. I most relate it to when HIV first hit. Surgeons refused to operate. Rooms were like isolation areas. People did not want to touch or hug an HIV patient for fear of getting it. This just seems so much the same.

Don’t give up on finding someone. You very well may. I won’t kid you, what you feel in being more picky and doubting you’ll find the right fit is common. I dont know if it’s aging or expierence or what. But don't give up. Rather get good with being you and living your best life without an SO and if it does happen it will be a big bonus.

Having some time off would help. I’m sure having someone to hug or snuggle with would be even better. Perhaps that’s why you’re even more frustrated with E. Just more confirmation he’s not the one. Hang in there and get some down time.


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
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