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KitCat Offline OP
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I need someone of reason to help me with this...

So H's OW father died last week. Legal S was filed the day before. H told me - father of a friend died

In the obituary her name is listed and his in parenthesis like he is HER SPOUSE.

WTH?????

How does someone deal with this????

DO I CALL HIM OUT????

I NEED SOME SERIOUS ADVICE

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Originally Posted by KitCat
DO I CALL HIM OUT????

I'd recommend not contacting him. He's no longer your friend or confidant to help you work through your emotions. Calling him out isn't going to help you detach and move on or detach and reconcile.

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What would that accomplish ?

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KitCat Offline OP
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How is he listed as her husband in obiturary...

He is still married to me...

This is the most crazy thing ever??? How does someone reconcile after this???

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Originally Posted by Ginger1
What would that accomplish ?


He wants me to allow him to have funds to buy his new house....

He is walking all over me and lying to me...

So I should not call him out on this behavior???

I'm tolerating it any longer. I wanted to recon very badly. I could deal with PA but this ... this is terrible...

Changing locks and codes for the house.

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Why do you want to recon so badly?

He only walks all over you if you let him. And you let him.

Dont give him funds to buy new house. Itís that simple.

He will only do what you allow.

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KitCat Offline OP
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Originally Posted by Ginger1
Why do you want to recon so badly?

He only walks all over you if you let him. And you let him.

Dont give him funds to buy new house. Itís that simple.

He will only do what you allow.



I have let him. I thought if I let him go he would get past feeling imprisoned and have some breathing room.

I wanted recon because I took my marriage vows seriously and while I was not completely at fault I have owned my part in the issues.

I was working on those issues.

What was so important about his license??? It was a way to contact me on a Saturday night because it still sits here and he hasn't come to retrieve it.

Its just such blatant disrespect.... AND, I want to call him out on it... I want to say I've changed the locks d**chebag.

I'm so angry he could be so disrespectful

RANT OVER

Last edited by job; 03/24/20 02:52 PM. Reason: edited language
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Why are there SEVEN threads for this?

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KC, you know what that tells me (he being listed are l as her spouse)? That's this has been going on a lot longer than we thought. Someone doesn't get listed on the obit as a spouse after a few weeks off dating. This has been going on for months, minimum.

I'd forget recon at this point and move your own life forward. Call your lawyer, tell him you want to move to divorce, not separation. You have been being played go l for a long time. His complaints are null and void. Cheating on your spouse is way way way way way way worse than being a less than perfect spouse. I'm frustrated that you don't see that.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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Originally Posted by Steve85
KC, you know what that tells me (he being listed are l as her spouse)? That's this has been going on a lot longer than we thought. Someone doesn't get listed on the obit as a spouse after a few weeks off dating. This has been going on for months, minimum.

I'd forget recon at this point and move your own life forward. Call your lawyer, tell him you want to move to divorce, not separation. You have been being played go l for a long time. His complaints are null and void. Cheating on your spouse is way way way way way way worse than being a less than perfect spouse. I'm frustrated that you don't see that.


I do know for 100% that this has not been going on for more than 8 weeks.

Its WHO my husband is.... he is in love with initial infatuation and attention and all those chemicals limerance brings.

He falls so hard... he proposes in a short time... he will have convinced himself.

He was at a vulnerable place... and she was there.

How do others on this board get past PA? It happens. They find a way to get back and make it work.

Steve85 - then moving on from a PA is not an option for me?

I'm so angry that I vented here and not at my H... yelling at my H over this is just going to prove his point.

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