I am so sorry to read about your cat. Your fur baby needs the surgery and if it's removed, he/she may live for quite some time. Will they keep the cat for a few days or allow him/her to return home the next morning? I'm keeping you and your family, but most importantly your fur baby in my thoughts and prayers right now.
Kindly asked if you have a close friend or family member that you can lean on now. This is the time to call someone and have a chat. You've got a lot going on and you need that emotional support.
Take care, stay safe and know that we all care about you and will be thinking of your fur baby tomorrow.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
cardinal, I'm sorry that you are feeling down. For him to announce to the landlord about D is definitely sh*tty. It sounds like he just want to exercise power in whatever way he could...whether it was to make the landlord to not raise the rent or to announce D.
Who knows what these WAS are thinking. Remember they are on their own timeline, which is WAY different from yours.
I too would choose H to be friendly over anything else even though the fakeness kills me inside. We are not best friends. Everything is not rainbow and sunshine. But it's easier to play that game than to deal with him raging and blaming me for xyz. I think the important thing is that you know what it is like when your H is being authentic. When he's not, don't worry about it. He is probably confused himself. If he cannot even be authentic to himself, how can you expect him to be authentic to you?
Lastly, I'm sorry about your cat. I often wish that I had a pet to lean on in this time of crisis because they are the ones who will love you with endless loyalty. ;(
How is kitty? Praying that the surgery went well and kitty is doing okay.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Cardinal, I pray you are doing ok and your fur baby is better. The weekend is almost here. Find a way to take care of yourself. Sending prayers and good thoughts your way.
W (me): 50 H: 46 M: 21 T: 25 S:17 D:15 BD 11/2019
Fate whispers to the warrior, "You can not withstand the storm" And the warrior whispers back, "I am the storm." ~Unknown
Everyone, thank you so much for your well wishes and for checking in on me. It means so much. You all know more than anyone what it’s like to go through this craziness, and it made me feel a little less alone. I finally have time for an update. Between already feeling overpowered by grief and annoyed with H, I was struggling with the cat news. After making no move to comfort me when I cried and told him the cat would need surgery, H showed some concern and seemed closer to himself about the cat leading up to surgery on Wednesday, which went well. He made me breakfast one day this week because he had “extra” ingredients, which was a kind gesture. We’ve had to separate our two cats because one is showing aggression toward the one who returned from the vet, which means one is with H (the most time he’s spent with it in 10 months!) and the recovering cat is with me. There’s one door that separates these two areas of our small house. And then last night I thought I noticed the cat’s stitches starting starting to come undone, so I asked H to come take a look. I needed help to stop the cat from bothering the area while I tried to get ahold of our vet after hours. H was suddenly very put out and blamed me for not getting a larger cone for the cat, even though I went with what the vet suggested. I was already super stressed and worried about the stitches but managed to not respond to him in anger. I always try to avoid asking him for anything because I know he’s not capable of showing me much empathy now, but I was still a bit mad at him anyway.
I got ahold of the vet and talked to her again today and everything is okay for now. The spot was cancerous but not the kind that spreads, and the vet thinks all was removed. I’m so thankful for that. The surgery was expensive but we were able to pay for it out of our joint account, and I am so thankful for that too. When I told him how much it would be, H said, “At least we don’t have a rent increase now!” True. Even if I don’t like the way he talked to the landlord. Maybe it is for the best.
The pattern seems to be he stays in his room most of the day on the weekends. One thing this lockdown has shown me is that he still has mood swings, still isn’t himself at all even if he appears that way to others or even to me at times. It’s still hard to witness. I’ve had a harder time holding onto any hope for the future lately, because he just seems so different than the man I knew, and he’s done such a thorough job of making us distant acquaintances. Our M and even our friendship as it was feels so far away. If I feel this way, I can see how it would seem almost nonexistent to him.
Originally Posted by wooba
If he cannot even be authentic to himself, how can you expect him to be authentic to you?
This hits the nail on the head, wooba! It would do me good to keep this in mind. He’s escaped from himself to a self that doesn’t care and just wants to have fun and freedom.
May, if you’re reading, I did attempt to start my own sourdough starter yesterday, so we’ll see how that goes! Wayfarer, thanks for your concern too.
Hugs, everyone. Thank you for keeping me afloat. I am thankful for all of you. I should have some time in the next few days to read up on your threads. Take care of yourselves!
I am glad the surgery went well for your cat. Hopefully your cat will live a long, happy and healthy life. Pets are family and thank goodness you were able to get your cat in and have the surgery. It's difficult keeping an animal quiet and settled when they are use to being on the go and yes, kitty knows that something isn't quite right and wants to lick and pull those stitches out. Keep a close on your fur baby and hopefully everything will help up nicely.
As for your h, he's very lost, but I am glad he offered a bit of support for you and your cat. If your vet recommended a certain size cone, then that is what you needed. Animals figure out how to get around those cones, so do not feel bad about the size and the pulling at the stitches. Where there is a will, there is a way.
I hope your sourdough starter turned out well.
Hang in there. You are doing better than what you think you are. You are stronger than you think. Here's to a speedy recovery for kitty.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
You are doing well, and although pretty difficult now, and especially under this global situation, more will be revealed and things will shift for the better in time no matter what he chooses
hang in
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
