don't know how old you are kas, but you could perhaps put your name in for senior housing if they have that. in your town. usually takes a couple years for your name to come up on the list.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Family court is now shut down to the public so H won't be served anytime soon. I work in justice court but COVID-19 just got here. I manage the small support staff so most of my work can easily be done without leaving my office.
I'm on my own with 3 kids. I have no family, no close friends, and not much money.
H is a cop who has OW, a secret life and is gone a lot. D14 lives with him but still comes over here for food. From a practical standpoint when do I tell D14 either she moves in with me (temporarily) or she stays there?
I'm a physically healthy 53 year old but my anxiety is high.
H is out of town but has been told to isolate for the next week. He’s not sick this is just a precaution since he might have been exposed. He says he will do the right thing but I no longer trust him. Bet a whole lot of money he won’t stay home for a week.
He didn’t even buy her food before he left. They eat out or he gets her fast food. Spent all his time looking for hand sanitizer and told her the stores were out of food. Lie. All he cared about was himself.
S19 is autistic and he’s freaking out. I haven’t seen him for a few days because he won’t come out of his room when D14 is here. Schools out so she’s here when I go to bed. D17 takes her home.
So much to say but H did buy food while he was gone. He doesn’t really care but his reputation is on the line. She told him I’m prepared by sending pictures of my cart to get him to do the same. Jerk buys some food, sends his own pictures, claims hero status for a week or so, then it’s back to his usual. It will pass.
I agree with kml that D14 needs to be in your home. You say she won’t come willingly but YOU are the parent. She can come and stay or she can stay at her dad’s but not both. This is about everyone’s health not just her whims, wants, desires. Yes, 14 year old girls are the most stubborn creatures so I know it is all easier said than done but you will have to put your foot down.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
He’s convinced D14 that he’s going to stay home, that he’s going to take this seriously, that he’s going to do the right thing. She knows about the OW but he doesn’t know that. I believe to keep her from moving in with me he will stay home...more but who knows how long it will last.
I’ve seen him be a decent parent for a month but that was when he could still hook up with the OW at his house. S19 caught him (H doesn’t know) so he had to move his fun elsewhere. At that point he was gone all the time.
A decision needs to be made about your daughter, i.e., where is she going to stay until the crisis is over. Your h has been around someone and he needs to self isolate. If he's around your daughter, she may need to self isolate as well. She could very well be a carrier and not even realize it. As her mother, you will need to decide, does she stay over there and not come to your home or does she move in w/you until the crisis is over. No one knows if your h will eventually show signs of having the virus or not, but I would be very concerned about you and the children that are living w/you.
kas, please, please be careful and stay safe and well.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I've decided that D14 won't be coming to my house until the crisis is over. S19 made a good point saying that it's a 2 way street since I too deal with the public. Technically I could be a carrier and not know it until I got all 5 of us sick.
Today is a trial day and it's a hot mess. We knew it was coming yes but by the time it hit it escalated too fast for us to react. So yes S19 is right I'm at risk too. Trying to stay in my office but still....we're all stressed, tensions are high, and I'm back in physical pain. Still trying to be positive though my job is safe and for that I am grateful.
