I am very tempted to text my H and tell him that it's not too late to save our relationship if we go to MC. I truly believe that.
I know this is against DB rules. I don't understand how you can work on the R if you never discuss anything.
I miss him so much. I miss telling him about my day.
Why is this so dang hard?????
Me: 47 H: 45 T: 24 M:23 D23 BD #1 12/19: ILYBNILWY BD #2 2/20: I discovered H was having an affair with OW. (OW is 21 and lives in another country) Current R status: Separated.
I went to church with my D. After church we went to lunch, did some grocery shopping, and then went for a nice long walk at the park. Had dinner at my parent's house this evening. This is the most I have done in the past 2 months. I've pretty much kept to myself and closed myself off from the world, except when my H was here.
Overall it was a good day/evening. I enjoyed myself and the time spent with my D and parent's, but there were moments I would feel empty inside and lonely, even though I was surrounded by people who love me.
I am still tempted to text or call H and ask about his day, or tell him about mine. I shouldn't feel this way because he's obviously not interested in communicating with me right now.
Still trying to resist the urge and taking it one hour at a time. Nights are the worst.
Me: 47 H: 45 T: 24 M:23 D23 BD #1 12/19: ILYBNILWY BD #2 2/20: I discovered H was having an affair with OW. (OW is 21 and lives in another country) Current R status: Separated.
MoGirl, Popping in here. We have a striking similarity-my H had a GF thirty years younger in another country. He met her while there for work. After his BD last May, I discovered her. He was “engaged” to her. One thing that helped me, he was out of the country three months. During that time we had no contact. I got myself into IC and I continue still once a week. He came back in August, and promptly moved into our daughters room. (She was away in grad school, also two years younger than the OW) he has gone back to “see” her and as of today, she is with someone her own age.
I was GALing pretty well until the pandemic. At the beginning of the stay at home orders, he traveled to another state. For some reason, I thought he would be a little concerned about me, but no. Our daughter came home for spring break and is still here. Since he traveled while she was here, when he returned, I asked him to quarantine in her room and she is in the living room. I know it helps him avoid contact in all forms with us, but honestly I am used to it.
I don’t want a divorce. H and I have not once discussed our MR since the BD. I haven’t seen that he regrets his behavior. He doesn’t know I know about XOW. I have seen some recognition and smiles I think when he forgets he is supposed to be a jerk. These moments are few and far between.
This has taken a year. In this year I have felt alone, scared and embarrassed. I have also felt strong, found that people want to be my friend and gained confidence in me.
I hope it doesn’t take you this long for you to see a normal husband. I treasure these little glimpses and I know he is still in there. I have no idea when or if he will return. I haven’t given up. Don’t you either.
Hello, everyone. I need some advice or perspective on my situation.
I accepted a promotion and will be moving 2.5 hours away. My H invited himself to go view some apartments with me. I didn't agree but I also didn't tell him no........
Question: Why would a man who has OW and wants a D, want to spend the entire day with me looking at apartments? He seems to be pretty involved in my life for someone who wants a D.
Any thoughts?
Me: 47 H: 45 T: 24 M:23 D23 BD #1 12/19: ILYBNILWY BD #2 2/20: I discovered H was having an affair with OW. (OW is 21 and lives in another country) Current R status: Separated.
Hello, everyone. I need some advice or perspective on my situation.
I accepted a promotion and will be moving 2.5 hours away. My H invited himself to go view some apartments with me. I didn't agree but I also didn't tell him no........
Question: Why would a man who has OW and wants a D, want to spend the entire day with me looking at apartments? He seems to be pretty involved in my life for someone who wants a D.
Any thoughts?
My first feeling is that there is a part of him that is still committed to making sure you are provided for and safe. Something interesting to be curious about for sure. Perhaps the men can give an insight here.
me: 46 h: 49 m: 24 T: 27 DD1:20 DD2:17 DS:12 BD1: PA for 2 yrs 08/2016 BD2: OW is one of my closest friends 12/2016 BD3: H wants a D 11/2019 Now: He is in the same house, but has filed for divorce.
Hello everyone. It has been a while since I posted but I still come here to keep up with everyone. I don't have time to post a complete update right now. I'm here to get some advice.
H and I have spent some time together, nothing romantic, just went to dinner a few times. He asked me twice and I asked him once. We don't talk about our R but I did ask him if he's still in contact with the OW. He told me not but I did some snooping and found his and hers secret FB pages. Their status is engaged. My question....should I confrnt him?
It makes me so damn angry. .I want him to know that I KNOW he is still a lying cheater.
Should I say anything or let it go?
Me: 47 H: 45 T: 24 M:23 D23 BD #1 12/19: ILYBNILWY BD #2 2/20: I discovered H was having an affair with OW. (OW is 21 and lives in another country) Current R status: Separated.
What difference would it make whether he knows that you know or not? (Probably better if he does not if you want to proceed with D) A lying cheater already does not have a clear conscience. If you tell him that you know- most likely he will either be glad that everything is finally out in the open now, or he will turn around and place the blame on you (I know it’s crazy).
What are you going to do with this new information? Anger is a feeling....I suggest you sit with this new info for a few days until your feelings subside and can think about it with a clear mind.
