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Ginger1 #2888038 03/04/20 12:42 AM
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Whatever you do, do NOT use Deva Curl shampoo and conditioner - it is apparently causing some women to lose chunks of their hair and they are pulling it from the market.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
bttrfly #2888040 03/04/20 01:07 AM
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Originally Posted by bttrfly
Whatever you do, do NOT use Deva Curl shampoo and conditioner - it is apparently causing some women to lose chunks of their hair and they are pulling it from the market.



I did get the deva cut back in July and I bought the deva curl gel and didn’t like it, so I barely used it. Now I see all these claims of hair falling out! And my hair is thin already, I can’t afford to lose anymore!

Ginger1 #2888097 03/04/20 02:51 PM
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Sorry you are so tired. Glad you and E are finding time and that he is "growing on you". The part about him having quirks made me LOL....we ALL have quirks. I would hate to think what Sparky says my quirks are, but I would imagine it is quite a lengthy list. LOL

As far as curly hair...I have thick curly hair and I shed like nobody's business, but the shampoo/conditioner/product line that works for me is Herbal Essence Totally Twisted. I, for some reason, have a hard time finding it locally and usually end up ordering from Walmart.com and having it shipped to my local store, but it is really the best thing I have found for my particular head of style challenged curls. I tried switching to a different shampoo and conditioner when I was having a hard time finding what I knew worked and I don't even remember what I switched to, but it was awful. It really dragged my curls down and made me look like I hadn't washed my hair in weeks. It was BAD. The Herbal Essence does not make my hair fall out any more than it normally does, but like I said, I'm a shedder, so there is that. LOL


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
Ginger1 #2889056 03/12/20 11:03 AM
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I guess it wouldn’t hurt for a little update. I haven’t had the mental fortitude to do so lately. Some days I don’t know how I feel and where I’m going . I do know that I work a lot. And I’m often tired. I’m trying to just keep things together and not let everything fall apart around the house. I’m trying to get my exercise in because I really need it physically and mentally.

My cruise is booked and will probably be cancelled. I’m so sad about that. If they don’t cancel it and the family we are traveling with is going, we are too. Finally got a nice vacation coming. We got our panic in our hospitals right now. We aren’t even having actual meetings anymore. Just Skype meetings. They are preparing in our schools for online working. It’s crazy.

Work is having some big changes. Our boss announced her retirement. I’m sad because she’s great. The big boss is nuts. I’m hoping her replacement is decent

As for E. Pretty sure he’s not the one. There is just no depth to our R. He just talks about food and Netflix all the time. He doesn’t really have any deeper of a conversation, even when I try. He’s a good Netflix and snuggle type guy, but beyond that, not much for me. Plus, may his kids be grown, his after work schedule is so booked. I try to work my weekday around his sports schedule so we can se eachother once in the week. But he has now added accupuncture, Pt, massage, chiropractors....... he’s definitely a high maintanence guy. I’m not maintaining it, but really, he isn’t making much of an officer to flex with my schedule. Yesterday when he said he would be too tired after all of stuff and asked me if I was free Friday or Saturday which I told him I wasn’t, he did feel badly. I made a 180 by not trying to figure out a solution. I just told him do what you gotta do. If he wants to see me as much as he says he does, he will make it work.

My romantic life is still a flop. I’m hoping to get a fulfilling partnership sometime before I die, but I am facing that there is a good chance it may not happen for me. Some days it feels like my purpose is work like a dog and then I die. Some days I still hVe a glimmer of hope left.

Anyways, that’s my cheery update!

Ginger1 #2889060 03/12/20 11:54 AM
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This virus thing is crazy, people freaking out all over the place like zombie apocalypse. Sorry your struggling with E. Nothing wrong with Netflix and chill although I know you want and are looking for more. IMO it’s still a win.

Keep your head up G


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Ginger1 #2889075 03/12/20 01:51 PM
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Quote
He doesn’t really have any deeper of a conversation, even when I try.


I am interested in how this is playing out when you try to have a deeper convo. I am wondering if he's still acting very guarded and doesn't want to be vulnerable. Netflix and other stuff is easy to chat about and there is nothing really on the line. The deeper convos is where you have to take some risk and show yourself. I wonder if he's just not actually deep or thinks about things the way you do, or if he's still got walls up.

You've only been dating for a short time and so it makes sense that this would happen over time. However, if it's not happening fast enough for you, then that's definitely something to consider. I wonder if you're being driven by wanting to find that good deep R and so you can have that part of your life handled, rather than just be in the process and see how things unfold over a bit of time. Sometimes you know if the person isn't right for you, but sometimes it takes digging.


No one is coming to save you!

Ginger1 #2889086 03/12/20 03:03 PM
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Sorry you aren't feeling it with E. I do think good, deep, meaning relationships take a lot of work and sometimes even good people aren't ready to put that work in. It doesn't mean they are a bad person, just means they aren't in the same headspace. Maybe you'll find some answers in the coming weeks/months or maybe you'll find someone else. Hang on to that glimmer of hope. You never know when it will ignite into a flame of passion. wink


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
Ginger1 #2889112 03/12/20 04:25 PM
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Yeah, my friend dated a guy that she finally gave up on because she couldn't have deep conversations with him. She kept trying and just couldn't get him to participate. Truth is, he's just a gossipy superficial guy and that's the level he's comfortable at. She never would have been happy with him because she's a deep thinker.

kml #2889121 03/12/20 05:06 PM
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Originally Posted by kml
Yeah, my friend dated a guy that she finally gave up on because she couldn't have deep conversations with him.

Deep convo is a deep subject. You can quote me on that.

From a guy's perspective, I like boats, planes, cars, motorcycles, scuba diving and urinating on flying bugs when I'm in the woods. (They won't let me use the p-e-e word.) I've got two favorite jokes that I can tell and I have three awesome f@rt tricks (well, three variations of the same thing). That's my convo and entertainment repertoire. Here's the thing, once I'm done with cars and planes and my jokes and my f@rt tricks, I'm out of material. Women expect so much from a guy these days. What's a guy supposed to do?

doodler #2889122 03/12/20 05:13 PM
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Originally Posted by doodler
Originally Posted by kml
Yeah, my friend dated a guy that she finally gave up on because she couldn't have deep conversations with him.

Deep convo is a deep subject. You can quote me on that.

From a guy's perspective, I like boats, planes, cars, motorcycles, scuba diving and urinating on flying bugs when I'm in the woods. (They won't let me use the p-e-e word.) I've got two favorite jokes that I can tell and I have three awesome f@rt tricks (well, three variations of the same thing). That's my convo and entertainment repertoire. Here's the thing, once I'm done with cars and planes and my jokes and my f@rt tricks, I'm out of material. Women expect so much from a guy these days. What's a guy supposed to do?



so much pressure!

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