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A Message from Michele
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Trials and tribulations of dating 3 #2884262
02/06/20 11:50 AM
02/06/20 11:50 AM
Joined: Feb 2015
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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Previous Thread:

Trials and tribulations of dating 2

Well,, today is a spa day with my friend. Itís a Korean type day spa and we are having breakfast with mimosas first to get the courage to do the naked baths part. Because they look really nice and relaxing.

I know everyone here has always given the the best support with the best intentions. I do appreciate it.

I have done so much soul searching. I donít think I didnít have Rís that didnít work out because I slept with them too early. Or because I didnít play the game well enough. Itís because I didnít believe in my worth. Which lead me to pretzeling myself, not getting out when I wasnít being valued, and not showing how I should be treated. Fear of losing someone. The fear of losing someone actually didnít come from the fear of me being alone, believe it or not. It came from a scar my ex left. That if they left me, it was because I wasnít good enough and I did something ďwrongĒ .
Iíve dated too many guys not worth their weight. I gave and gave and got nothing in return. I didnít value myself.

Who knows what will happen with E? So far, I like what I see. Heís been texting me throughout the day. He is the initiator. He has graduated to good night sweet dream texts. He fell asleep early last night, and so did I. I woke up this morning to a text he sent me when he woke up on the couch. Telling me good night and to have a great day at the spa. Tells me good morning too. Heís courting me and I like it. No 3rd date set yet. I havenít given up my schedule to him nor hinted when Iím free. I think he will ask me out. And heck, Iíll let him wine and dine me.

Iím just dating right now. A seemingly good guy. I do know more about his divorce too. Luckily itís very amicable, he has never ever cheated and I believe he liked being married. Which is a good quality.

Iím not ďall inĒ Iím not head over heels. I am exactly where o should be at this point. We chat a lot and even talk on the phone. We are really getting to know each other. And itís fun! Which it should be, right?

Last edited by job; 02/06/20 01:27 PM. Reason: added link to previous thread
Re: Trials and tribulations of dating 3 [Re: Ginger1] #2884264
02/06/20 12:28 PM
02/06/20 12:28 PM
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TBSakaJ9 Offline
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I like it G......make him wonder a bit!!


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Trials and tribulations of dating 3 [Re: Ginger1] #2884278
02/06/20 02:16 PM
02/06/20 02:16 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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So he kindly asked me if I had my daughter this weekend. I said no, sheís going to her dads . He said ď why didnít you tell me?!!Ē He then asked if I had plans and I said yes, if you are asking me out on SaturdayĒ so he did. And he said heís going to come up with something really cool to do.

This is going to sound slight crazy. But he had sort of suggested axe throwing. I realized, first date with M was drinks, apps. Second date was sushi. 3rd date was ax throwing...... um, Iím seeing a pattern! So while I would love to go ax throwing, because it is lots of fun, itís kind of creepy.

Anyways. I am leaving it all in his hands and Iím going to let him show me a good time!

Re: Trials and tribulations of dating 3 [Re: Ginger1] #2884280
02/06/20 02:25 PM
02/06/20 02:25 PM
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TBSakaJ9 Offline
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LOL G...Ö..that's good, it's up to him! You don't owe him your schedule yet, good for you!

I took the Doc axe throwing on date 4 after she declined to go on date 3. I think most guys are just trying to do something different then just the normal drinks, dinner, etc. Most of the books I have read indicate that on date 3 you should be a little more adventurous.

He is trying and making an effort. I think he likes you!!!!!!

Is he good enough for you????


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Trials and tribulations of dating 3 [Re: Ginger1] #2884283
02/06/20 02:33 PM
02/06/20 02:33 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,446
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AndrewP Offline
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Originally Posted by Ginger1
Itís because I didnít believe in my worth.
This. ((Ginger))


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: Trials and tribulations of dating 3 [Re: Ginger1] #2884385
02/06/20 11:07 PM
02/06/20 11:07 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 5,374
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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Is he good enough for me?

Well, so far, yes! But itís been 2 dates so the jury is still out. But that will be what I am evaluating . So far heís been very sweet, respectful, funny, and affectionate.

And he really is trying to make an effort. He properly asked me out and wants to make a special date for us. Itís nice to see a real effort. I am not making any suggestions, and Iím leaving it all on his hands.

I think he likes me too.

Spent the day at a Korean spa with my friend. We treated ourselves to a massage and foot reflexology, they had a special going on. I got man handled by a Korean man and I loved it. Best massage ever. We used the baths...... naked!!!! We braved it! And then the all the different rooms and saunas. It was totally awesome.

I donít want to go back to work Monday! I want to live the life of a trophy wife! Hahaha! A girl could dream

Re: Trials and tribulations of dating 3 [Re: Ginger1] #2884398
02/07/20 01:12 AM
02/07/20 01:12 AM
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uRworthy Offline
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Hey G..sounds like a great date...

Love what you said about owning your worth...good stuff there.

So, I am 60 (how the heck did that happen?) and I am not a prude..trust me on that. I like me some sexy time..a lot.

And if one is not looking for a relationship and both parties agree...that is up to them.

I feel strongly, though, about the difference being having sex and making love...two completely different acts.

For me, there has to be an emotional connection besides a physical attraction. I have to know that person and feel that he has made an effort to know me. It is a special act between two people who care about each other...or at least it should be, in my opinion...otherwise it is just sex between 2 people. Now there isnt anything wrong with that if that is what they want. But if you want more...then It comes from the self worth you are speaking about.

This shouldnt be game playing in your eyes. You shouldnt have accepted a last minute date not because it reels him in, but because you are worth consideration.

You shouldnt sleep with him right away, not to keep him interested, but, because you are worth waiting for.

If you truly want to do something different, then you have to think differently for real. You have to feel differently about yourself. You have to have the confidence that you deserve to be respected.

The same thing goes for letting him lead. You shouldnt be doing that because its game playing. You do it because you are deserving of having someone want to see you and plan a nice date for you.

I dont want to see you get hurt again, sweetie. You have to really just let this play out. Keep living your life..doing your thing and let it unfold.

I am rooting for you always.... <3

Re: Trials and tribulations of dating 3 [Re: Ginger1] #2884412
02/07/20 02:35 AM
02/07/20 02:35 AM
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Sounds like things are going really well G. I watched some videos the other day on YouTube on relationships and what men want. He is big on women knowing their worth and the one thing he says is you have to not be afraid to lose that person. Pretty much what everyone on here has been saying. They are pretty great videos that I wish I had watched YEARS ago. Have a great time on Saturday!!! (((HUGS)))

Last edited by job; 02/07/20 10:31 PM. Reason: Removed reference name of app and person on app not related to DB

Me 51
H 46
B/G Twins 11
SD19
Legal SA - January 2019
Divorce filed - June 2019
Divorce final - November 2019

Together 14 years
Married 12 years
BD1 - May 2014
BD2 - September 14, 2018

Re: Trials and tribulations of dating 3 [Re: Ginger1] #2884439
02/07/20 11:15 AM
02/07/20 11:15 AM
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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Absolutely, UR! I am making these choices based on what serves ME. Not what I can do in order the ďcatch and keepĒ in the past I was more focused on how not to lose the guy. Which is pretty much where every R has gone wrong. I realize itís the biggest scar my ex left. I just felt like if someone walked away, it would be all my fault and something I did wrong and I had no confidence in myself in dating and relationships. Like I ďmustĒ not be doing the right things. When I do have sex, itís because I want to and Iím ready. And yes, I do need an emotional connection now to make it enjoyable.

I simply cannot be afraid to lose anyone anymore and I have to be confident that if they walk away, itís not because I did anything ďwrongĒ.

So far something I really enjoy about E is that I feel so comfortable being myself. He is non judge mental. He can crack jokes and take jokes. I can just really be me around him. I could not do that with M. I was Me, but it didnít feel comfortable. I always felt judged. Probably because he was judgy of everyone else.

I canít wait to see what he has in store for tomorrow. Iím sure it will be a good time no matter what. A date on a Saturday night ?! I canít believe it!

Re: Trials and tribulations of dating 3 [Re: Ginger1] #2884440
02/07/20 11:17 AM
02/07/20 11:17 AM
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TBSakaJ9 Offline
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G...you got a primetime spot!!!!


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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