Yes...I did reconnect with my old bf on social media. Saw his name on Facebook and for some reason sent him a friend request. He accepted it and messaged me pretty quickly. We just started talking and have been doing that pretty regularly ever since.
Luckily, my XH blocked me on Facebook about six years ago (told me he deleted Facebook) so I haven’t been privy to his exploits for a long time. I’m pretty used to it and honestly, I don’t miss seeing him on there nor do I wonder what he is up to anymore. He actually occupies very little of my thoughts these days. He’s marrying his affair in July and that doesn’t bother me anymore either. I just don’t feel much for him in general - good or bad. He is not the person I fell in love with and is essentially a stranger to me. So I just focus on being a good co-parent and he does too. We are friendly but we are not friends and I am at peace with that.
To answer your question, I do think I am better prepared to evaluate a potential relationship now. Historically, I am someone who has always followed my heart and ignored my head. TBH, if I hadn’t done that with XH, I never would have married him because there were definitely red flags with him as well. Different from the last guy I dated but there nonetheless. This last break up was fully a decision I made with my head and I am proud of myself for doing that even though I am upset with myself for not doing it sooner. If I had, he might not be as hurt as he is. So that is weighing on me a bit even though I know I did the right thing...for both of us.
Hope you find someone special. You seem like a pretty awesome guy yourself.
It does seem as if you are in a great place and fully ready to explore a relationship. I have been stuck in the mentality of simply dating here and there. I meet two kinds of women. Those ready to jump into a full blown relationship and those who want to play. As appealing as much of the play can be I have refrained because I don't trust that someone could be hurt myself included and the whole issue of stds. Was it always that middle-aged people did crazy stuff and were swingers and all that or is this a newer phenomenon?
I am confident that there is an amazing relationship waiting for me out there and I am determined to find it. I kind of live in the middle on nowhere so patience is a big part of it........
Mark
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
I really don’t know if it was always like that TBH. I’m certainly not one of those people. I have always been relationship-oriented but I’m not desperate for it. I know that I am fine on my own so it’s not something I need. It is something that I would like though so that’s why I have been dating. Not on OLD currently though. Want to see where things go with my old bf before I venture down that road. Given our schedules, it is going to be pretty slow going so like you said, patience is a big part of it. I wish you the very best of luck.
