So sorry to see this news, but agree that CMM has done very well so far. I put that down to you. Glad you're taking care of yourself and long may CMM's good run last.
Interesting talk with middle son yesterday. Apparently ex has been filling him in on more orthopedic problems he’s having - iliotibial band syndrome and hip bursitis.
The sad thing is, he’s shown little to no concern over son’s diagnosis of Ehlers Danlos syndrome, but wants sympathy now for his issues. It’s a problem for middle son who sees it as more evidence of his father’s narcissism.
The other sad thing is, I might have been able to limit or prevent some of his disabilities - but he never would listen to me while we were married, and certainly wouldn’t take medical advice from me after the divorce. He almost surely has psoriatic arthritis, which his uncle has, but hasn’t been diagnosed with it to the best of my knowledge. He IS gluten sensitive by blood tests but refused to take my word for it. And he never would take any vitamins so he’s very likely B12 deficient on his current parsimonious vegetarian diet.
For a guy whose answer to any medical problem you might have was “buck up”, and who enjoyed superhuman athleticism and good health his whole life, he’s now a 59 year old with bad shoulders, a bad neck and now a bad hip. Since he was always terrified of aging, I imagine he’s having a very rough time with the whole thing. I feel bad for him, but at the same time, angry that this hasn’t apparently caused him to have any better understanding of what our son has been going through .
While your ex’s sitch is sad, he has lived a very full, active life and clearly burned the candle at both ends athletically speaking. He can certainly make a choice to be more concerned for his son who is yet young. Your ex is a narcissist so every conversation and interaction with anyone is just an excuse for him to do more naval gazing.
It will be very interesting to see how this all impacts his May - December marriage. Will his wife care for him I wonder?
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
Gee, I sure hope she does. There relationship has appeared steady, at least from the outside. He provides her a lifestyle that she wouldn’t be able to enjoy in our town on her income. (God I hope he got a prenup!) . Imagine if she left him and took another chunk of his pension and a piece of the considerable equity growth in his duplex in the last 7 years? He’d be so incensed ( even though it would be totally fair in this community property state and she has worked the whole time they’ve been together so it’s not like she didn’t contribute). If he thinks he’s “poor” now, he’d be way worse off if he divorced again. Luckily I don’t see any signs of that happening, hopefully he continues to treat her well despite the looming recurrent midlife crisis (turning 60 soon and all these physical problems sounds like a recipe for MLC again. )
I actually feel bad for him, he’s really unequipped to deal with illness.
On a different note - CMM say his radiation oncologist and will be starting radiation treatment again. This time it will more broad- last time it was super focused, so I expect he will have more side effects this time. Plus it's in the pelvis this time so he can expect some GI symptoms as well. Hoping it will relieve his pain without too many side effects.
Trying to get to the gym although during the work week my days are just too long to make that happen. Going to a movie (1917) with my oldest son Saturday since CMM won't go to crowded public places right now out of fear of infection.
Took CMM to his radiation treatment this morning (#3 of ten, he did throw up once this afternoon but seems none the worse for it, he’s puttering in the kitchen making dinner right now. I went to my office after his treatment (we are closed on Fridays but I had a bunch of phone calls and paperwork to attend to). Got a lot done, even took the last bit of paperwork needed to finish off my moms estate downtown to the office that needed it (wasn’t going to trust several birth and death certificates to the mail).
Tomorrow morning he’s coming to the movies with me, my oldest son and his friend. I convinced him that a 10:00 AM show should be pretty empty and he could wear a germ mask. (Son works graveyard shift so we do movie early) . Going to see 1917.
Also tomorrow night is the concert that I bought son tickets for for Xmas - a chamber concert of music from the Final Fantasy game. I thought he’d take his friend but he wants me to go.
