Lost, but hoping to find myself

[kml]

AS for cross country skiing - it's WAY easier to learn than downhill skiing (I learned both as an adult so I know) especially cross country skiing on flat trails. (Often this happens at golf courses in snowy regions.) (I'm not talking about backcountry downhill skiing on cross country skis which is a whole other animal - I've done that too). Cross country skiing on flat trails is a lot like using the elliptical machine at the gym, or like skating, depending on which technique you use. (I started with the traditional Nordictrak technique but find the skating technique more natural for me). And it's inexpensive because all you need is the gear - (rent while you try it, then find a good deal used). No expensive lift fees. I found that the cross country skiers were more like runners and hikers- athletes and nature lovers. Downhill skiers are more adrenaline junkies and flashy car drivers (it takes money to downhill ski). Try a beginner's class somewhere near you, I bet you would really like it - and it's a killer workout. It's also a great way to stay warm while enjoying the beauty of a snowy landscape (you have to wear layers because you WILL be peeling things off).

[Dawn70]

Different perspectives are so interesting! I get what Andrew is saying about not meaning "party girl" from the negative point of view, but more of a passion and love for life, because I totally see you that way, too, G. You are a great mom, a hard worker, clearly a loyal friend, and you love big. You do have a great love for life that, to me, comes across as a very gregarious life of the party type. No, I don't think you are just out getting drunk, partying and closing down the bars, but I think that you are a fun person who draws people in like moths to a flame and that is kind of how I took Andrew's comment.

I heard a song on the radio on the way home yesterday that made me think of you because it kind of made me think of what I was saying yesterday about you wanting a man but not needing one and I think it also speaks to what I think Andrew's point is about you being fun. I don't get the sense that you are a big country music fan, but google "I Can Buy My Own Drinks" by Runaway June. Listen to the lyrics....I totally see you in that song (and I totally mean that as a compliment!).

[bttrfly]

I'm thinking G - is there an LL Bean store near you? They have lots of cool meet ups

[HaWho]

If there is a waitlist on that hiking group, can you not start your own, new one? Others must be waitlisted and frustrated, too. You can also start one under a more general category: single people 35 - 45 looking to meet over _____(brunch, beer, coffee, etc.)

I agree with KML that athletics are great ways to meet guys. Where I am, Pickleball is huge and single men abound! They even have keg/social nights!!! The women are hunted.

I know you mentioned you used to be a volleyball player but injured yourself so not sure how that limits you.

[Ginger1]

Different perspectives are so interesting! I get what Andrew is saying about not meaning "party girl" from the negative point of view, but more of a passion and love for life, because I totally see you that way, too, G. You are a great mom, a hard worker, clearly a loyal friend, and you love big. You do have a great love for life that, to me, comes across as a very gregarious life of the party type. No, I don't think you are just out getting drunk, partying and closing down the bars, but I think that you are a fun person who draws people in like moths to a flame and that is kind of how I took Andrew's comment.

I heard a song on the radio on the way home yesterday that made me think of you because it kind of made me think of what I was saying yesterday about you wanting a man but not needing one and I think it also speaks to what I think Andrew's point is about you being fun. I don't get the sense that you are a big country music fan, but google "I Can Buy My Own Drinks" by Runaway June. Listen to the lyrics....I totally see you in that song (and I totally mean that as a compliment!).

I do agree more with that assessment. I am maternal and domestics and a caregiver. I would not agree that I am not maternal. I enjoy the mundane things in my life, however.......

I am full of life and vibrant, and I’m really glad that can be seen and felt. I’ve got good energy. I’m
Not as miserable as I come off here.

Guys I have dated have always been able to take me into a social situation with their friends and family. I hold my own, I never am shy, not clingy to the guy I am with, and he can socialize without having to “make sure I’m ok” and I usually have someone telling me their life story and confiding in my. By the end of the night. I am lots of fun to be around. M brought me to his lake movie nights and I became friendly with all the board members nearly immediately. They would hug me when they saw me.

Friends have told me I’m the total package. You can take me anywhere around anyone, I’ll love your kids, I’m fun, I’m serious, and I am domesticated.

Dam it, I’m the total package!

I’m glad to see that you all do get the vibe I thought I was giving. Because the vibe I thought I was giving is really who I am.

Soooooo, Don...... a handful??! That I’ve never ever been called. I’m so easy going, handle my own stuff and I’m too nice. Please elaborate! Is it because I like to spend time with the person I’m with?

[Ginger1]

I will never ever do a down hill snow sport again. The exH took me skiing and that didn’t go great the second time. M took me snowboarding and I am just too scared and inhibits me. And the pain I felt the next day! Lord !

I just can’t start my own meetup. For two reasons: I am awful at organizing anything and I’m not a leader, I’m a follower in those situations. I have no group planning skills. Am I am a novice hiker and I’m joining a club because I’m afraid to go alone because I have no sense of direction.

As far as volleyball, I did that recreationally, and that’s how I busted my knee. But hey, first night, doing it without a friend, and I made 3 ( young male) friends and was having drinks with them at the end of the night! I’ve been thinking about giving indoor volleyball a try ( it was sand volleyball where I busted my knee) but I admit, I am afraid. I never want to go through that surgery again and I probably wouldn’t and just try to live without an ACL.

I did join an all woman’s book club with a friend at work. Not getting me closer to men, but I’m really enjoying the boom and I Will get to socialize at the meeting .

LH- too bad you don’t live closer. I am a responsible adult, take care of my family, I’m a professional, but yeah, I sure like to let loose every now and then

I have some more messages to send. Maybe I’ll get a date out of it. Maybe not.

But I do have a date with a friend this Friday night, so I won’t be sitting in

[kml]

I will never ever do a down hill snow sport again.

Again - I'm talking cross country skiing on flat trails, like in a park or on a golf course. It's fun but not at all scary, more like skating but with soft snow to fall on instead of hard ice. Actually you don't fall much - nothing like snowboarding.

[DonH]

Don...... a handful??! That I’ve never ever been called. I’m so easy going, handle my own stuff and I’m too nice. Please elaborate! Is it because I like to spend time with the person I’m with?

Oh no, not even close - maybe even the opposite. I said a handful like in a challenge to keep up with, see something, think about it for maybe 3 or 4 seconds and make a decision. Or taking on too many things so there are not enough hours in the day or not being able to shut off your mind - always thinking about something. Not too predictable. Sort of a little like fire, ready, aim - always a few steps ahead. Ask your dad, “dad, am I a handful?” And I’ll bet he says yes or you can be a times. It’s all good though - kinda a good, fun, handful.

[job]

Ginger,

Check the local newspaper. We have hiking groups starting up for the first of the year and will hike each weekend as long as the weather is good.

I know that this is going to sound corny, but check out what is available in the way of cooking classes. There are some single men that actually attend these classes because they are interested in learning different ways to prepare food.

If you are interested and because you are now a homeowner, check out the classes that Lowes or Home Depot offer for the homeowner. They are generally free and men and women attend them.

Just a few ideas that might be fun and maybe some good interaction w/people in general.

[DonH]

Dawn, you wrote out your thoughts so much better than I could have, even though we Very much share the same thoughts. Ginger has gotten good at the talk, it’s now living those words that is the challenge - especially when a guy enters the picture and shows interest. What Dawn said x3 for me.

Ginger, I am soooooooooo glad you are looking at, hopefully seriously, other social opportunities. I hate to see anyone put all of their eggs in the brittle basket that is OLD. Plus even if these other interests, whether book club or cooking or hiking or whatever don’t bring a guy, they will increase your value ten fold to the few good, normal guys on OLD. More than with most I strongly believe that the less you try to find a guy the better your chances of finding the RIGHT guy. The closer you get to living where you truly are okay not having a guy is when a really great guy is going to find you - and I think you’re on your way.

For the record I had zero clue what orange whatever it is workouts were.