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A Message from Michele
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Lost, but hoping to find myself #2877509
12/25/19 02:36 AM
12/25/19 02:36 AM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 5,374
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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Ginger1  Offline OP
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Previous Thread:

Down, but not out....yet


As per my last thread, I got very weak and texted M. I wished him and his family a merry Christmas as I know they have had a challenging year. I told him I think of his family and especially his son, very often and I wish them peace and love.

He did reply back wishing D12,me, and the dog a merry Christmas as well. I sent him a picture of the dog. And that was it.

I have been thinking of doing that and I donít know why. And I did it. But god, Iím hurting so bad. A year ago I realized I was in love with him, celebrating Christmas with him and his family.

I deserve a big butt kicking it was dumb. Im in pain.

But I think it might have been a step towards closure .

I do miss them very much. More his son and family. But him too.

Kick my butt my now, I deserve it.

Thank you Jon, I wish the same to you and your family

Last edited by job; 12/25/19 12:09 PM. Reason: added link to previous thread
Re: Lost, but hoping to find myself [Re: Ginger1] #2877517
12/25/19 05:13 AM
12/25/19 05:13 AM
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,699
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DejaVu6 Offline
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Not gonna kick your butt G. You do that enough by yourself. Donít beat yourself up too bad though. Youíre human and the holidays are tough. (((HUGS)))


Me 51
H 46
B/G Twins 11
SD19
Legal SA - January 2019
Divorce filed - June 2019
Divorce final - November 2019

Together 14 years
Married 12 years
BD1 - May 2014
BD2 - September 14, 2018

Re: Lost, but hoping to find myself [Re: Ginger1] #2877535
12/25/19 07:18 AM
12/25/19 07:18 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 16,374
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kml Offline
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Posts: 16,374
You donít miss him - he was an arse. You miss the companionship, and the IDEA of him that you tried to wish into being.

And now of course you feel stupid because that tiny part of you hoped when you reached out that he would respond as if heíd been pining for you. (We all think that). But the reality is no, he didnít , and the whole exchange meant less to him than it did to you.

No more chasing! Move on girl .

Re: Lost, but hoping to find myself [Re: Ginger1] #2877559
12/25/19 11:49 AM
12/25/19 11:49 AM
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,560
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TBSakaJ9 Offline
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I agree with k and you deserve so much better. Delete his number and never look back.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Re: Lost, but hoping to find myself [Re: Ginger1] #2877561
12/25/19 11:59 AM
12/25/19 11:59 AM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 5,374
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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Ginger1  Offline OP
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You are both very right. I certainly beat myself up enough. Iím not going to. Iím just going to move on from it.

I expected him not to answer, which I think would have been better. The exchange meant much less to him than it did to me. Which was pretty much the reality of our relationship
And why it ended. I thought the original reason I did it, ( because this wasnít impulsive, Iíve been considering it for a while now. In some weird way, it felt like it was going to be some SOS to his son and family. That I miss them and care for them .

Its time to finish off the grieving and move on. He doesnít think twice about us, and his family will just love the next girlfriend who comes along.

Itís weird. The way I work is I cannot fathom throwing so many memories away and just turning off the love youíve had for someone. I canít seem to do it very well. When someone like that comes into my life it just means so much to me. And I canít write off so easily things that mean so much to me. Others sure can. My ex H did. ExNG didnít so much. I know this kind of for a fact. He was with someone else but his heart was still with me for a while. M managed toss me aside very easily.

I think I might finally have the closure I wed. I did need to close this out somehow and it wasnít going to be the way I really wanted to. I shall settle for this.

Iím going to move on . New beginnings with hopeful happy endings.

Re: Lost, but hoping to find myself [Re: Ginger1] #2877562
12/25/19 12:01 PM
12/25/19 12:01 PM
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 5,619
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LH19 Offline
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LH19  Offline
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G,

I am going to go against the grain here and say that if you did it with no expectations then I don't see any problem with it.

I'm really sorry you are going through a tough time but like my mama always says "this to shall pass".


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

ďDon't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.Ē- Will Smith
Re: Lost, but hoping to find myself [Re: Ginger1] #2877581
12/25/19 04:20 PM
12/25/19 04:20 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,446
Canada
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AndrewP Offline
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AndrewP  Offline
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Canada
Originally Posted by Ginger1
I cannot fathom throwing so many memories away and just turning off the love youíve had for someone. I canít seem to do it very well.
Big hugs ((((Ginger1)))) Merry Christmas to you and yours.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: Lost, but hoping to find myself [Re: Ginger1] #2877582
12/25/19 04:42 PM
12/25/19 04:42 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 16,374
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kml Offline
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kml  Offline
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Quote
I am going to go against the grain here and say that if you did it with no expectations then I don't see any problem with it.


The problem with this is, no matter what lies we tell ourselves, we always have a secret expectation when we do these things.

Re: Lost, but hoping to find myself [Re: kml] #2877585
12/25/19 05:15 PM
12/25/19 05:15 PM
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,086
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pinn Offline
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pinn  Offline
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Originally Posted by kml
Quote
I am going to go against the grain here and say that if you did it with no expectations then I don't see any problem with it.


The problem with this is, no matter what lies we tell ourselves, we always have a secret expectation when we do these things.


Beat me to it... totally true though.

Re: Lost, but hoping to find myself [Re: Ginger1] #2877591
12/25/19 05:53 PM
12/25/19 05:53 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 5,374
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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Ginger1  Offline OP
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I managed to fool myself that I didnít have expectations. The only one I honestly had was of him not answering.

He actually replied to me not long ago, which would be the time he dropped off his son. I havenít replied back.

Anyways, the good stuff. D12 loves everyone of her gifts. She couldnít have been more thrilled, more excited, and more happy. I did pretty good myself. I got the new laptop/notebook I wanted, and alexa echo, the screen one. A gift certificate for an hour massage, and $500 cash which I really didnít expect. They wanted to help me out.

And in more good news, I got a guy coming to fix my status and walkway for $300 vs $2500. Iím pretty stoked about that. I dropped D12 off at her dads and he came out and wished me a merry Christmas and asked if I liked the pug shirt from my D. I told him I did. OWW and I always throw in an edible gift for each other.

Going to dinner soon. Honestly, Iím sick of eating. My body is saying ďno more!Ē I never thought that day would come.
Iím going to listen to it after dinner tonight, lol

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Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

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