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SteveLW Offline OP
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Originally Posted by neffer
The need to get you both (or W) into IC is still there, dear friend. There´s not the urgency: the best scenario.

Don´t delay too much something that important.







Thanks man. Still on the plan. The house sale is very close to being finalized.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
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Hey everyone! Just happened to be watching some MWD videos, and came across one on youtube she did in March 2018. Where she discusses her intensive sessions she hosts for couples:

https://www.divorcebusting.com/PersonalIntensives.htm

I am considering discussing a trip to Boulder for one of this with my wife sometimes later this year. I figure why do traditional MC, when I can go right to the source of a lot of the great material that saved my marriage (so far).

This would not be in lieu of IC for my W.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
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Hey Steve,

Hope all is well. I certainly would be interested to learn about your experience if you get the opportunity to do an intensive session.

Onward and upward.


Me:45 ExW:48
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3 Bombs & 2 ReCons
1st BD 11/10
D Finalized 4/20
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Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
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This is a wonderful idea and I hope that your wife is on board for the trip. If you do go, please come back and share your experience w/the forum.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Hey Steve....

My, you have come a long way huh ??

I do wonder though...

Are any of those thoughts coming from the "father figure" side of you ?

Or are those thoughts that you have heard from her ???

Old patterns friend....

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SteveLW Offline OP
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Originally Posted by Mach1
Hey Steve....

My, you have come a long way huh ??

I do wonder though...

Are any of those thoughts coming from the "father figure" side of you ?

Or are those thoughts that you have heard from her ???

Old patterns friend....


Mach, I fight the father figure thing everyday. Very astute.

Last edited by Steve85; 01/08/20 10:36 PM.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
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I was just curious...

What do you do to flip that switch between leading the marriage, and hearing her ?

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SteveLW Offline OP
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Originally Posted by Mach1
I was just curious...

What do you do to flip that switch between leading the marriage, and hearing her ?








First I remember to listen to her. And then I will repeat back to her in my own words what she said. I do this especially if she is expressing feelings.

I then remember what I learned in IC: my way is A way, not THE way to do something.

But most of all I remind myself all day everyday how much I love her, which is immensely!

And when I feel the old man creeping back up, I remind myself of my love for her.

Mach, it isn't perfect. But it is many times better than it used to be.


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Hey Steve,

Glad to hear things are going well. I don't think I saw if you updated how you (or you both) handled the 23rd-- interested to know if you don't mind sharing.

Also, I wanted to thank you for some really helpful posts on my sitch. You'd warned me that I should be prepared that my H was in a PA, not just an EA, and lo and behold you were totally right (also it had started a year earlier than he's admitted to previously). Because you were so clear about that being a possibility, I spent some time being prepared for that last BD, and I think I handled it much better than I would have otherwise. (Though by no means perfectly!!!)

Anyway, just wanted to pop in to say hi and thanks for your help!


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SteveLW Offline OP
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may22, the 23rd was uneventful. I think at one point I thought, oh today is 2 year anniversary of BD. So completely different than last year. She doesn't even remember that BD was that date.

Thanks for the kind words. I'm sorry I was right about the PA. But we've seen it before on this forum.

Keep on moving forward! You've got this!


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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