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A Message from Michele
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Re: Living in Limbo [Re: phnix] #2874900
12/06/19 03:17 AM
12/06/19 03:17 AM
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phnix Offline OP
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phnix  Offline OP
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Well she text about my son. I responded due to his phone being dead. I told her if she had the app that allowed us all to keep track of each other then she would know his phone was dead.

When I got home she hung up my phone when calling a friend. She said it was rude because she wanted to talk. I told her we had nothing to talk about. I told her we had this discussion 3 nights ago. She wanted to know how my day was. Felt good to watch her walk away due to my refusal to talk with her.

Re: Living in Limbo [Re: phnix] #2874906
12/06/19 03:44 AM
12/06/19 03:44 AM
Joined: Jul 2019
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DS9 Offline
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Mate, this all sounds a little tense and edgy if I'm reading the exchange right.

Maybe with the App thing, in future you might consider saying something like "I've installed XYZ App on my phone. It's quit useful becuase if S's phone ever dies again we'll know about it (or insert the benefits). Here a link to how to install it on your phone. Appreicate the cooperation. Regds BB".

We all want to say 'told you so', but it just doesnt work mate

On the second exchange, do you think it might have been better to just say your out and about and can't talk just right now? Or am I reading it wrong and she physically hung up your phone when you were on it? If so, that's a boundary issue, isnt it?

Cheers DS


Me: early 40's
XW: nearly 50
T: 15
M: 5
BD: Jan 19
S:10 SS: 22 SD: 24
Re: Living in Limbo [Re: DS9] #2874940
12/06/19 01:51 PM
12/06/19 01:51 PM
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phnix Offline OP
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Yes, she hung up my phone while I was calling a friend. She has absolutely no respect for me. I put her belongings outside the bedroom this morning. She claimed that was threatening behavior and she was going to take pictures of her stuff piled up. I told her she wasn't going to manipulate me. She has hit me in the face 3 times in the past 5 months and I have pictures from where she has scratched my neck and she talks about me being threatening.

The last time she hit me in the face twice our son was in the next room and heard it. He even mentioned it to me and I told him it was ok and that a man never puts his hands on a lady no matter what she may do.

She claimed she wants to file online so I told her to go ahead and do what she needed to do.


Last edited by bballer1; 12/06/19 01:52 PM.
Re: Living in Limbo [Re: phnix] #2874943
12/06/19 01:57 PM
12/06/19 01:57 PM
Joined: Feb 2017
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LH19 Online
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B,

If she doesn’t file you should. Physical violence to totally unacceptable. Tell her if she ever lays a hand on you again you will call the police.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

“Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.”- Will Smith
Re: Living in Limbo [Re: LH19] #2874950
12/06/19 02:30 PM
12/06/19 02:30 PM
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AnotherStander Offline
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Originally Posted by bballer1
Yes, she hung up my phone while I was calling a friend. She has absolutely no respect for me.


Yeah that is really rude. And you're right, definitely yet another indicator of the severe lack of respect she has for you.

Quote
I put her belongings outside the bedroom this morning. She claimed that was threatening behavior and she was going to take pictures of her stuff piled up.


Good for you, and her response is comical! Not sure who she thinks she will show the pictures to that will react in any way other than laughing at her.

Quote
She has hit me in the face 3 times in the past 5 months and I have pictures from where she has scratched my neck and she talks about me being threatening.


Wow really? If this happens again then call the police, I am not kidding. Get it legally documented.

Quote
The last time she hit me in the face twice our son was in the next room and heard it. He even mentioned it to me and I told him it was ok and that a man never puts his hands on a lady no matter what she may do.


It is most definitely not OK. That is domestic violence. Just because you are a man and she is a woman doesn't mean it's OK.

Originally Posted by LH19
If she doesn’t file you should. Physical violence to totally unacceptable. Tell her if she ever lays a hand on you again you will call the police.


^^^100% agree^^^


Me: 58 w/ S16, D22, D25
Current R: 4 years
Previous M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:56
Re: Living in Limbo [Re: phnix] #2874962
12/06/19 03:27 PM
12/06/19 03:27 PM
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phnix Offline OP
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When I get home tonight I am putting all of her belongings in the other room and changing the lock on my bedroom door. She will be nasty about all of this but guys I don't see an honorable way out of this situation. She has no remorse or respect for me or our family.

Filing for D and possibly moving on may be the best. As for her putting hands on me it wasn't that bad. She may have been provoked a little. I was fine although she felt bad afterwards that she had done it.

For some reason she feels like she should be able to do whatever she wants and comfortably live within our home. She makes claims about us divorcing that holds no weight. Once we go down that road she will lose control of things she can't control. For example, like saying our kids will not be around some of my family members etc... She has no right to make those claims nor can she control them. Just as I can't control if and when my son will be around another man.

Re: Living in Limbo [Re: phnix] #2874990
12/06/19 06:01 PM
12/06/19 06:01 PM
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 2,136
Missouruh
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ovrrnbw Offline
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Missouruh
BBaller,

I'd sit tight on things for now. I think you under the "Illusion of Action".

Just take some time to yourself and don't let her keep getting under your skin. Your passive aggressive comment about the tracking app showed your pain. Don't show her that.

You have your setup at home currently, just go with that for a while IMO.


H 33
W 28
BD 3/12/18

Married 3 years
Together 7 years

Working on the R and on me - Spring 19
Re: Living in Limbo [Re: phnix] #2874994
12/06/19 06:17 PM
12/06/19 06:17 PM
Joined: Aug 2019
Posts: 265
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phnix Offline OP
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phnix  Offline OP
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That sounds about right. She claims I am always being passive aggressive. She hates it. Best for me to just stay away as much as possible. No interactions or talking because I will only make it worse.

Re: Living in Limbo [Re: ovrrnbw] #2875031
12/06/19 08:26 PM
12/06/19 08:26 PM
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 990
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hoosjim Offline
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Quote
Just take some time to yourself and don't let her keep getting under your skin. Your passive aggressive comment about the tracking app showed your pain. Don't show her that.


First rule of "Passive Aggressive Club" is..
You know what, forget it, its FINE.


______
"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." --Sg. of Sg.--2:7

"So often times it happens, that we live our lives in chains, and we never even know we have the key." -- Eagles III--1:3
Re: Living in Limbo [Re: phnix] #2875032
12/06/19 08:31 PM
12/06/19 08:31 PM
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 990
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hoosjim Offline
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Quote
It is most definitely not OK. That is domestic violence. Just because you are a man and she is a woman doesn't mean it's OK.


^^^THIS. This is also a great opportunity for a very clear, very easy to set, very clearly defined consequences BOUNDARY. "I will not tolerate any physical violence of any sort, no matter how minor, against myself or our child. If you initiate any such, i will call the police."

Doesn't matter if she's a guy or a gal, she strikes you that's "battery", and threatening or motioning as if to do so is "assault". Both are crimes in every jurisdiction of the United States.

That's free legal advice, BTW, I usually charge for mine, lol...


______
"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." --Sg. of Sg.--2:7

"So often times it happens, that we live our lives in chains, and we never even know we have the key." -- Eagles III--1:3
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