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A Message from Michele
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Signed divorce complaint today #2872085
11/13/19 10:50 PM
11/13/19 10:50 PM
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 862
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kas99 Offline OP
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kas99  Offline OP
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https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2869737&page=11

Married 28 years, 3 teenagers
BD: 3/31/2019
WAH moved out: 4/6/2019

I've been doing LRT for 3 months. Each got our own place a month ago. Prior to this he was paying CS only and all my bills. I was a SAHM for 15 years. I do have a ft job but can't support myself on it. I asked him how much he was going to pay after I moved and he gave me a low number and asked if it was enough. I was too stunned to respond so I didn't. He's been nice, doing home improvements at my house (I'm not there - S19 is), brings me firewood and gifts from work. This gave me hope and so I let the support ride. I kinda thought I'd have to file soon to protect me and our kids but hadn't decided anything when I found out about the OW. That made the decision easy.

I texted my attorney right after stating there was OW and that I wanted to file. I'd already filled out paperwork when I hired her so she had the complaint done by that afternoon. I signed it today. She's filing on the grounds of adultery. I asked if I needed a PI to prove it before he got served and she said no. Said it's too late for him to go underground since it's already documented. S19 caught him but WAH doesn't know. We work with some of the same people so I have a witness here. She thought I knew. My attorney knows the witness too. She says infidelity is hard to prove but we can use the name as a scare tactic.

I'm now falling apart. Spinning, can't get over the part where he's got someone. He spent the past two days at home, in bed with her. I was doing so well and now I can't function and I NEED to function. I'm grasping at straws trying to stay positive about this. I could really use some encouraging words before I get fired. I'm not doing well.

Re: Signed divorce complaint today [Re: kas99] #2872206
11/14/19 08:25 PM
11/14/19 08:25 PM
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 862
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kas99 Offline OP
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kas99  Offline OP
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Posts: 862
Guess my title is too depressing. Doing a little better today at work at least. I did cook last night and paid my bills. Hard to function while accepting that my M is over.

Re: Signed divorce complaint today [Re: kas99] #2872210
11/14/19 08:49 PM
11/14/19 08:49 PM
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 862
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kas99 Offline OP
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kas99  Offline OP
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I don't want to file but when I'm wondering if I can pay my bills then I have no choice.

Re: Signed divorce complaint today [Re: kas99] #2872211
11/14/19 08:50 PM
11/14/19 08:50 PM
Joined: Aug 2019
Posts: 154
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rooskers Offline
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kas you would enjoy this book, Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life: The Chump Lady's Survival Guide If you can listen to the audio version. Not a book recommended for those looking for reconciliation.


1st BD December 26, 2008
PA admitted to by XW December 29, 2008

2nd BD May 23, 2019
Daughter confirms EA
Divorce Finalized July 18, 2019
Re: Signed divorce complaint today [Re: rooskers] #2872212
11/14/19 09:02 PM
11/14/19 09:02 PM
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 862
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kas99 Offline OP
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kas99  Offline OP
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Originally Posted by rooskers
kas you would enjoy this book, Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life: The Chump Lady's Survival Guide If you can listen to the audio version. Not a book recommended for those looking for reconciliation.


I love her blog. She's great.

Re: Signed divorce complaint today [Re: kas99] #2872214
11/14/19 09:12 PM
11/14/19 09:12 PM
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 862
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kas99 Offline OP
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kas99  Offline OP
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Posts: 862
Okay let me try to be more positive.

Things I'm grateful for:

Have my kids full time
I have a great job
I rent a house in a safe, quiet neighborhood.
My rent is relatively cheap for the area
Did I mention my kids? lol
We've gotten closer
I have a newish car.
I live close to work.
I have great coworkers/friends
I have a great attorney who is looking out for me
She's mean even to me (in a good way). lol
I work for a court which led me to said attorney

Re: Signed divorce complaint today [Re: kas99] #2872216
11/14/19 09:29 PM
11/14/19 09:29 PM
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 793
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IHCLACS Offline
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Posts: 793
Hi kas99. I'm sorry that what you love and cherish is ending, and that the old is ending. But there is a new chapter beginning. You can still have a great life ahead of you without being dependent on another person to fulfill it. I know that doesn't take away the rejection, the hurt and the pain, as well as 28 years of attachment. But don't ever let someone else's actions choices or expectations stop you from leading a beautiful life. as I am saying is I'm driving and I just passed a cross on the highway that said practice gratitude. I can see that you're doing that and it's a good thing to be grateful for what you do have. God is good all the time

Re: Signed divorce complaint today [Re: kas99] #2872218
11/14/19 09:54 PM
11/14/19 09:54 PM
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,460
Colorado
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Thornton Offline
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Thornton  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,460
Colorado
Sending positive vibes your way, kas. Take one day at a time.


Me 43
He 43
D: 18
D: 12
T: 8 years

Bomb 5/10/2014
Back 7/7/2014

Bomb 2 1/28/2016
Back: 5/2016

Bomb 3 4/3/2017
She moved away with SD: 5/27/2017
Back: 8/1/2018

Bomb 4 9/11/2019
Re: Signed divorce complaint today [Re: kas99] #2872221
11/14/19 10:12 PM
11/14/19 10:12 PM
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 862
K
kas99 Offline OP
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kas99  Offline OP
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Posts: 862
Good news - bad news

Bad news: My boss did some snooping for me. WAH got promoted. What a jerk. Paying me peanuts while his income went UP.

Good news: He got promoted and that means more money for ME.

Re: Signed divorce complaint today [Re: kas99] #2872232
11/15/19 12:46 AM
11/15/19 12:46 AM
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 862
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kas99 Offline OP
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kas99  Offline OP
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Joined: May 2019
Posts: 862
Iím so angry. He got promoted right after he left. Cried poor mouth and I bought it. The reason he felt like crap was because his idiot friend coached him until the guilt went away. WAH knew what heíd done was wrong and it made him physically sick. Ah but he stayed firm to his decision but I think it still haunts him. All those secrets. All those lies. His own kids donít know he has the position heís wanted for 10 years.

I know now that he didnít file because I hired an attorney instead of doing that do it yourself divorce crap that his idiot friend recommended. The gig was up and he knew it. Retreat. Retreat. He didnít have doubts he didnít want to pay me.

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