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Ginger1 #2868141 10/13/19 02:16 PM
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Well, he texted me this morning. He told me he had a nice time meeting in person told me about his morning and told me to have fun apple picking.

Nothing wrong with a hug. But it was a fast sideways hug, I think the one we had when we first met was warmer. He practically was driving off before I got in my car! Maybe he really had to take a dump?

The date was fine, no fireworks, but no unattraction. Kind of how it was on my first date with M. But he showed interest. This one? The exit was weird.

This is confusing. But whatever. Just finished collecting our money for cheerleading at Shoprite and then we are off for apple picking .

Ginger1 #2868146 10/13/19 03:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Ginger1
This is confusing. But whatever. Just finished collecting our money for cheerleading at Shoprite and then we are off for apple picking .
Seems fairly normal to me - but I wasn't there.

Since mind-reading is a favourite hobby and fun pastime - yes - having to take a dump would certainly mean a bit of exit awkwardness wink Since on paper he sounds like a "catch" he may well be juggling a few early contacts and not wanting to commit to any individual one. He may also be wanting to process how the real you compares to the one that was in his head.

He didn't immediately ghost you so that's a good sign that he has some interest.

One key thing I'm not "hearing" though is what you thought about him in person. "The date went ok" is pretty vague especially from someone who has gone on as many first dates as you have. Does he seem like someone who is worth you giving a second date to?

Enjoy your apple picking. I hope you have the same nice weather we have here.


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Ginger1 #2868157 10/13/19 07:05 PM
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He didn’t ghost me, he didn’t didn’t ask me out again, he didn’t say he wasn’t interested. Maybe I’ll get the slow fade.

How did I feel about I? Good question. Conversation was good. It was more like a coffee date even though we were at the bar. No romance. But it was a first meeting. So I don’t know. I would have to try a second date. And I’d be willing if he asked, but I’m certainly not pursuing it. I’m pretty sure this is going to be the slow fade though.

Honestly, even though I believe I make a really great girlfriend. I’m also really good at being single. And my fate seems to be leaning towards single, so it’s good I’m good at it.

Ginger1 #2868164 10/13/19 08:31 PM
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Look this meeting was not a referendum on whether you will remain single or not. It was an opportunity to meet someone and see if YOU think THEY are dateable. Period.

So, with that in mind, what did you find out? You stated no immediate attraction - was this about looks, or something lacking in his personality that you were picking up? Did your gsydar go off? Or are you still expecting some kind of magical instant passion (which would likely be a huge red flag)? What did you learn about him that you didn't know? How did the real him differ from the imaginary one you built in your head.

Ginger1 #2868170 10/13/19 10:19 PM
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I honestly can’t stand dating, lol. But it was good input my first date in the books since M.

I haven’t expected a magical connection in my many years. I was attracted to him . No idea if he was attracted to me. He gave off no vibes that leaned in one direction or the other. I couldn’t pick up too much at all. It would definitely need another date to know if something was there. I could not say yay or nay for myself off of the first date.

Funny, my gaydar almost went off. I though he was holding some sort of object that was leather but wasn’t a wallet, wasn’t a purse. I finally realized it was his insulin. He’s a type 1 diabetic. I don’t think he is gay.

I just didn’t get much from him either way I guess. It’s very different than last dates.

Ginger1 #2868178 10/14/19 12:02 AM
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Haha - so his man purse was just his insulin bag - that's acceptable. smile.
Did you pick up whether he's gluten-free? There's a huge overlap between celiac disease and type 1 diabetes, being gluten-free can help brittle diabetics be less brittle.

Do you think maybe he was a little shy? Some guys with a serious disease like Type 1 diabetes might get all up in their head about it being "unmanly". (CMM still has issues about wearing his oxygen in public).

Ginger1 #2868180 10/14/19 12:40 AM
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He’s been texting me tonight and eluded to a second date. I think he’s shy. And maybe kind of new to this. Something a little slower moving might be kind of nice.

The good thing is, I am pretty ambivalent. Either something comes ofnit or doesn’t, but I’m definitely not trying to force anything.

He’s not gluten free. He ate some fried bar food last night. Had only one beer. Said that’s all he can really have anymore .

It’s definitely a different experience

Ginger1 #2868183 10/14/19 01:32 AM
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Mystery solved!!!!!

We joked around about a nice steak and he said it’s “we can do that on our second date since I botched the first”

I asked him how he felt he botched it. He said he was going to be pretty vulnerable with me and tell me why.

The weekend before was his year anniversary of almost dying. He said it just hit him this weekend, the reality of it all. He said he was distracted and distant because of that.

So I guess I was right there was something definitely weird and out of the ordinary.

And I guess he was into me and wants to give it another shot.

We shall see how that goes

Ginger1 #2868221 10/14/19 02:22 PM
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Well......

It turns out this guy likes me. A lot. Very interested. He opened up a lot. He told me I am an amazing woman and I seem to be pretty genuine and not one of the users he is used to. He said he is happy with life as it is and is really ready for a real committed relationship.

He told me is a people pleaser by nature. I told him I was the same and I have never dated a fellow people pleaser. Neither has he.

He was very frank and genuine with me, and I was the same with him.

Now, most importantly, how do I feel about him?? Now that he is more himself and I know what is going on and he really opened up to me, that brought the attraction level up. I find myself looking forward to our next date. He is very different from the guys I have dated in the past. So let’s see. I have nothing to lose.

Ginger1 #2868226 10/14/19 03:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Ginger1
He ate some fried bar food last night. Had only one beer. Said that’s all he can really have anymore.
A friend of mine is a Type 1 as well as being 6'2", buff with blue eyes, works for a company in Manhattan that he visits every month or so and is recently single at 49. I have his number if you need it wink

He is also very careful of any sort of carbs and sugar. Having 2 drinks is a big deal for him and he has to balance whether to have bread or beer with a meal. He would usually check his blood sugar and jab himself with his insulin before we'd go out to lunch. I was with him one day when he crashed. Very scary. He got progressively more and more angry and started acting drunk. He ended up in his car where after missing a punch on me, punched out his windshield on his new car. His wife came and rescued him as did police and fire responders. He spent the next week recovering and calling people to apologize.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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